OK, so I know that I'm an emotional mess, but this is bothering me...

Although I don't know if I 100% agree with having a 2nd baby shower, I am really bothered by this, although I know it's totally out of my control.

I am having my baby in 9 1/2 weeks, and I KNOW that my mom and sister are not having a shower for me. I think what they're planning on doing is getting me a couple of things for Christmas.

I got rid of just about everything since having Scotty almost 7 years ago, so we need a fair amount of things, and also, this is Jims first child.

NOW, what bothers me is nothing at all about receiving (or not receiving) gifts, it's that I feel like maybe I am not deserving in their eyes. I have been asked by 3 people to pass on their contact info to my mom or sister for my shower, asked by a few more where I registered, etc. The icing on the cake is that my best friend calls me tonight and says that her and her sister (they're twins, and both my best friends since kindergarten) want to do something for me if my family is not, and they want to call my mother to talk to her about it.

I kinda feel like why does everyone else think I'm important enough, but my mom and sister don't?

Am I right or am I just being hormonal?

if i received an invitation to your shower, i would see nothing wrong with it. Scotty IS 7 years old, and it IS your DH's first baby....nothing at all wrong with it! Don't worry

ETA: PLUS you are having a girl...so you need new things....i'm sure Scotty didnt have girl onesies and stuff did he??

awww Stacy I can understand why you feel hurt. If your friends want to do that for you then let them. My BF's was at a friends house and it was just a select few of us and it was soooo much better then her first one because it was just us.

If someone wants to purchase you a gift, they should purchase you a gift with or without a formal shower. If you were my daughter I would have purchased you gifts no matter how many babies you already had.
I think I have a different take on this a bit: My SIL often talks about her 'next baby shower' because my nephew is 6 years old and she hopes to have another baby someday. My mom, stepmother and I threw her first one and spent a lot of money. None of us plan on doing it again really. Everytime she tells me that she threw out something else like his swing or pack&play I say, 'What if you need them again' and she says 'I am sure we will just get new ones'... What bothers me is that she expects us all to re-outfit her with everything again. I spent $1K on her last shower/gifts. I cannot do that again. NOT that you expect this, but she 100% does.
If your friends want to throw you a shower, let them. If you mom/sister already did then really someone else should anyway. I doubt anyone feels you are less worthly but if they feel that a second shower is not necessary than that is also okay. It doesn't mean YOU are less worthly or anything IMO.

maybe your mom and sister ARE doing something and you don't know about it..... It'll be fine! You deserve the world!!!

I would let my friends do it. Maybe Mom's thinking might be 'old school' (i.e. one shower, etc.)? It doesn't have to be something big and blown out. It's just to celebrate that beautiful little girl coming into the world. If your friends call Mom/Sister, it might change their way of looking at things when your friends are willing to go the extra mile for you. Good luck! And you are totally worth it!

thanks for your replies

It seems as if my best friends (I LOVE THEM ) are having just a small brunch for me at the bonwit Inn. One of my friends talked to my mom last night and she thinks that it's not proper etiquette to have a 2nd shower, but thought that it was really nice that my friends wanted to do a brunch.

Again, it's NOT about gifts, I'd be perfectly happy if everyone just got together to celebrate, but I guess I just have to get over it.

First of there's a 7 year age gap b/t Scotty and your soon to be born baby girl. Secondly, you're having a girl. So you need girl things. Maybe your mother/sister aren't taking that into consideration. Maybe they are afraid others will think it's not right to have a shower for you since it's your 2nd child.

Why don't you have your friend call and casually suggest something to your mom. Maybe she'll realize these things and you'll have a wonderful party

ETA: I see things are set - I hope that you have a great time at the brunch