OK-Weddings off! Anyone looking to have a party June 1st NRC will be open

I'm so sorry . . . Not to be repetitive but 'Everything happens for a reason' and yes you are the strong one. You know what. . . you should NOT have to feel the way you feel. Therapy is a good idea - if nothing else, it will help you get your feelings out and that lone may make you feel better. I hope that you do stay on here - I know I am a newbie on here but everyone is so helpful and I know if you need me I'll be here for you - you don't have to leave the site just because the wedding is off. Just stay to chat and have somewhere to go to get away from reality for a little while. You can FM me too if you need anything.
Good Luck and all the best!

I am soooooooo sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family. Don't worry about the dresses you can sell all of those on Ebay. You are a good person and you deserve the best! I think everyone on here is very proud of you and the decisions that you have made! Good luck to you and we will keep you in our prayers!

you are a very brave woman.. everything happens for a reason and just like everything in life, you will come out of this as well.. until then stay strong..

I am soo sorry to hear that

i hope things go better for you

Thank you all! I went to work today and just kept running into the bathroom to break into tears. I couldnt even speak to my co-workers because my eyes would well up. The thought of someone bringing up the wedding scared me to death. Im so embarassed that I planned this whole thing with my friends at work and now... Well I dont have to let you guys in on the big secret. However, I dont want you all to misunderstand. DH is a big reason why the wedding is off but more for financial reasons that he did not clue me in on. I am not leaving him although.... Just kidding. But I cant put up with him right now or his family. I do need a break. I dont know in what form. There is just so much history involved and Im just so tired of climbing out of financial holes that I dont put myself in. Im not lazy and very organized on like my other half and because of my busy schedule with school, the kids and work I have left somethings for him to be responsible for and feel like I should've never given him the benefit of the doubt that he could handle it. He was raised where his mother did EVERYTHING for him and every time we run into a problem he runs to his mother for financial help. Everytime he gets us into a problem he runs to his mother instead of even telling me about it. Im not ready to give up on the marriage because he's not a bad person just very immature at 35yrs. and very irresponsible. He is not physical, would not cheat, etc. Just inconsiderate Thanks for listening and I will let you all know what happens once I speak to the hall. Thanks for listening.

Wow, it seems as if you have a lot on your plate right now. I admire your strength. Here's a bug for you. Praying for the best for you and your family.

I know it sounds very Cliche' but What doesn't Kill use makes us Stronger.

Understand this is all part of the Journey - and we are in charge of our own torture.

I hope that makes sense. You sound like your taking control of your situation, wishing u better days.

Best.

Thank you! Just need some time to calm down and relax. It's amazing though I have to tell you. I called everyone I needed yesterday and asked that they just give me some time and space to deal with it all and when I felt that I could hold a conversation without crying I would call and explain further. Do you know everyone of them called me continuously last night and today. What part of give me some space do people not understand. I have been dealing with how stupid and unnecessary people feel my wedding was since DH and I already eloped now is not the time to hear it all over again. I know my money could've have gone to things that they felt would be better spent on, I know all that matters is that I have my family, I know that weddings are expensive so what did I think was going to happen, I know DH works hard and I should be understanding. NONE of this has anything to do with how I feel. NONE of this matters to me right now. My mother actually suggested that I do away with the CP's and girls bouquets, that I do away with the photographer and just ask my family and friends to take posed pics with their digital cameras and have my uncle follow me around with the camcorder, maybe I should cancel the dj and just ask my 17yr. old cousin to hook up his stereo in the middle of the NRC. I mean jesus people my wedding is about my dream and yes I was willing to compromise on things to cut cost but now your turning it into a joke. This was as bad as me telling my bestfriend and her saying I knew it well no big deal I'll just buy tickets to the 80's prom and we will wear the bm dresses there! Whenever you guys have had enough of listening to me vent let me know. Im sorry I know I start to run off with it but there is just no one I can talk to and I just found out tonight that DH did something that could cost him his freakin job. Im telling you I just dont know how much more GOD thinks Im strong enough to take. Give me a break already. Okay, I'll stop now.

I am very sorry to hear what's happening with you right now but I went through something similar and I thank God that I met my FH. Just remember that you are doing what you're doing for the best and dont worry about the bills because he has to help you pay them and if he doesnt take him to court. (that will really get him off the couch ) Best of luck sweets and I will pray for you! Remember what goes around comes around and things and I really dont think that your husband will find somebody as good as you and if he loses you he will regret it for the rest of his life.

I'm very sorry you are going through this! I wish you all the best and hope everything works out for you.

ahhh that must be so painful and frustrating for you, I'm sorry. And don't be embarrassed, nobody is judging you, these things happen...

(You mention him napping alot. Send him for a blood test, maybe something is wrong that makes him sleep so much...)

Feel better!!!

im sorry that you are going through all of this, it does seem like you are putting in 110% and not getting any help. I can see why you would call of the wedding.. i hope therapy helps

Thanks everyone. I just want you to know that Im angry but not just with his laziness with every inconsiderate person who thinks and has been waiting to tell me what a bad idea this was. Anyhow, I went to eat with DH after I got out of work and I told him how I feel and that I think we should really think about getting seperated for a while because I need a break from the insanity. Well at first he tried telling me that not only was he dealing with how upset he was having to call off the wedding but then I go and make him feel like an a$$hole and flip out on him. Apparently he feels that if things are not done my way then it's the wrong way. So again poor him! So I calmly explained to him(even though I wanted to reach across the table and rip his eyes out )that yes when it comes to the bills and running the house if it's not done my way then it is the wrong way because I manage to get the bills taken care of on time, I manage to make sure the kids dont miss a meal, they get off to school on time, the house is clean and I've been paying bills since Im 12yrs old when my mom moved out and my dad didnt have time. Unlike when things are left up to you and I get hit with late fees or my bank account is frozen due to a judgement because you didnt take care of something I didnt even know we had like parking tickets. I explained to him that when I ask you to do something and explain the consequence if it's not done this way and you say yeah okay and then get on the computer of phone and do the complete opposite and sure enough what I said was going to happen did you try to hide it and cause more problems. Well by the time I got done he was willing to go to counseling instead of seperating and claims he's going to call and make an appt. tommorow. However, Im not putting all my eggs in one basket. I told him that he has to call the vendors and work something out and if he doesnt atleast try in therapy that the only thing I see left for us is seperation or divorce. Hopefully it wont come to that but I just want to work back to my old self instead of this person I've become while making sure he doesnt destroy my every chance at a good future. Also he did go to the doctor and they think he may have sleep apnea. I think he uses sleeping as an escape.

Thank you! DH is calling the hall today and we will see where we stand.