okay is it me or..............

laura33 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:22 PM

okay is it me or..............

if you are invited to a wedding but cannot attend do you usually send a check?? (not as much as you would give if you actually attended) but a small amount..I usually do this

what do you do???

TIA

Snick n Nick Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:23 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

You are still supposed to send a gift even if you don't attend I think! I have gone to every wedding I've been invited to so far though hehe...

cherish83 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:23 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

Posted by laura33

if you are invited to a wedding but cannot attend do you usually send a check?? (not as much as you would give if you actually attended) but a small amount..I usually do this

what do you do???

TIA

I've never actually been to a wedding, but thats what I would do

Autumn08 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:27 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

I do that for any special occassion. I'm invited to a baby shower I can't attend in Jan. so I will get her something from the registery. And over the summer I was invited to a friends bridal shower and couldn't attend so I still bought her an item off the registery.

mathteach Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:27 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

Posted by Autumn08

I do that for any special occassion. I'm invited to a baby shower I can't attend in Jan. so I will get her something from the registery. And over the summer I was invited to a friends bridal shower and couldn't attend so I still bought her an item off the registery.

Yeah, I do the same thing.

laura33 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:31 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

I am glad.....I got only a few NO responses to the wedding but they are all from my fathers friends who all live in florida...I was just surprised that with their responses no one sent a check... I dont mean to sound greedy, but i ALWAYS send a little something if i cant attend ANY kind of function...

Michiamanomimi Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:33 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

I agree that I send something along, but I might not send it in the response card. I would more likely send something off the registry after I responded no.

bella1028 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:42 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

this has happened to me and i have sent a check anyway...yes, less than if i attended...but still a gift

mathteach Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:45 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

I wouldn't send it in the response card. I would send it in an appropriate greeting card.

Just me though

mathteach Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:46 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

and don't forget: Emily Post says they have 1 year from the wedding to send a gift.

Mici n KC Posted: Dec 17, 2007 06:52 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

Posted by Autumn08

I do that for any special occassion. I'm invited to a baby shower I can't attend in Jan. so I will get her something from the registery. And over the summer I was invited to a friends bridal shower and couldn't attend so I still bought her an item off the registery.

I do that too although I've been invited to a few things where I feel people were inviting me just for a gift! And in that case they got NOTHING

Snowflake08 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 07:07 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

yes, i always send a check if i cant attend
though it was only once, i gave $150 from FH and me instead of the $300 i would have given if we went

i got 3 no's so far and NO check or gift

MAY24BRIDE Posted: Dec 17, 2007 08:27 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

Posted by mathteach

I wouldn't send it in the response card. I would send it in an appropriate greeting card.

Just me though

I agree...I would send it with a greeting card, probably right before or right after your wedding.

LauraD419 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 09:03 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

If i'm invited and can't go...I still send a gift. Not as much as if I had gone to the wedding though.

anneandchris Posted: Dec 17, 2007 09:13 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

I always send something if I can't attend a wedding or shower. The gift I send always depends on the person and why I can't attend. Sometimes I send a gift off the registry.

MKEA98 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 09:17 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

If I was invited and couldn't go, I'd still send a gift. But definitely not as much as I'd give if I was going.

But I do think a person should also take into account who the person is, why you can't go, etc when deciding on how much to send.

Unfortunately, it seems that it's not so uncommon these days to not send a gift. I think some people just don't care about doing the right thing by sending a gift.

CNC4eva3402 Posted: Dec 17, 2007 09:50 PM

Re: okay is it me or..............

Its very unusual that I can't attend but if for some reason I can't I usually send a regular greeting card around the date of the event with a check

Autumn08 Posted: Dec 18, 2007 08:39 AM

Re: okay is it me or..............

I usually send it closer to the occasion in a card not with my 'no' response.

2007 Crescent Bride Posted: Dec 18, 2007 08:41 AM

Re: okay is it me or..............

Yes I give a smaller gift if I cannot attend.

jenn122397 Posted: Dec 18, 2007 09:09 AM

Re: okay is it me or..............

Posted by laura33

I am glad.....I got only a few NO responses to the wedding but they are all from my fathers friends who all live in florida...I was just surprised that with their responses no one sent a check... I dont mean to sound greedy, but i ALWAYS send a little something if i cant attend ANY kind of function...

only one person who said no sent us a check with the response cards
other people sent us a card with a check closer to or right after the wedding - but it wasnt everyone - i had about 40 couples say no and i got maybe like 5 or 6 checks