Okay ladies...its time for me to spill the beans... *Update on pg 2*

Sorry its long...

I haven't been on that much lately because last weekend FH dropped a bomb on me.... He wants to push the wedding back at least a year. I was hysterical and I didnt even want to talk about it but I had to stop and listen to him. We haven't booked a ton of vendors yet because we dont even want to put the money out. He thinks (and I have to agree) that we dont have the money to do it right now. We are both in debt with student loans, car loans and a little CC debt. He wants to have our CCs payed off before we really get into the wedding planning. I agree with him there but I am so nervous. I havent said anything to my parents yet (who have put about $7k down on the RH for us so far!) and I am so nervous to! My mom and I went dress shopping the day after he dropped the bomb on me and I couldnt tell her - she would have been crushed! But FH is right, he said he doesnt want to get a divorce because we are financially stressed ($ problems is the #1 reason for divorce). We both live with our parents, rent free so we dont even pay rent. He doesnt want to be 'that' couple that can't do things because we cant afford to do anything but pay bills, rent, and utilites, especially on Long Island where rent is sky high!!! So now we have to do a few things. I just left a message for my BM at my RH so I can ask her tomorrow about the policy on changing the date. If we push it to July 4, 2009 it will be a Saturday night, which means $20 more a head! My parents might KILL me! and I dont want to be liable for any cancellation fees of the RH date in 2008. Any words of advise on this? I know the obvious - dont spend, save, get another job. But do any of you know about how RHs feel about postponing the event? We are absolutely getting married, we have been together almost 7 years and plan on a million more, just not right now.

I am really sad to possibly not being an 08 bride anymore - I love all of you girls! No matter what - I will still be on these boards so dont look at me weird!

Oh, if anyone has the winning lottery numbers - please FM me...I will share, I promise!

wow first of all

i think you are making the right choice - FH and I will have a two year engagement - so that gave us time to get rid of cc debt, and get a head start on student loans

your FH sounds like a smart guy - you dont want to start a life together in debt.

I would cry too - but then try to look at the positive. . . you WILL get married and you WILL get the life of your dreams. . . .AND instead of drowning with debt you will have the marriage of your dreams!!

good luck - i dont think the hall should be a problem they will probably use your deposit towards a new date - no worries!

and oh yeah you BETTER post on 08!!!!!!!!!

aww hun!! i am sooo sorry. Its def hard and i couldnt imagine pushing ours back another year, but it seems like you know its probably for the best. Im sure there will be less stress on you in the long run if you feel more finacially stable.

I would sit down with your mom and tell her why you are making that decision, imsure she will be sad for you (she is your mom) but im sure she'll understand

as far as the RH goes, i dont know much about this. But im thinking that they might be okay with it since your not canceling using THEM. you still plan to use them as your RH, just not the same date you originally picked. I hope that is the case and they can just transfer that money to the new date. And 7/4 is popular, im sure they wont have trouble booking it

GL!!!!

i couldnt have said it any better than matilde...

i thikn you and your fiance are makign the right decision...

$$ and debt can put alot of stress on a couple when you are now on ur own.

goold luck and dont become a stranger

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Posted by ant n tilde

wow first of all

i think you are making the right choice - FH and I will have a two year engagement - so that gave us time to get rid of cc debt, and get a head start on student loans

your FH sounds like a smart guy - you dont want to start a life together in debt.

I would cry too - but then try to look at the positive. . . you WILL get married and you WILL get the life of your dreams. . . .AND instead of drowning with debt you will have the marriage of your dreams!!

good luck - i dont think the hall should be a problem they will probably use your deposit towards a new date - no worries!

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I am so sorry

I know it's probably hard to postpone the wedding for a year but seems like you are doing it for all the right reasons and it's a very smart decision. Hope it all works out with the RH, hopefully they will work with you and when you tell your parents why you are doing this then i am sure they'll be proud you are actually doing the smart thing and thinking about your finances and wanting to do the responsible thing.

And definitely stick around, why would we look at you weird, you'll still be part of the 08'ers

WOW. As crappy as it may seem to you right now, I have to say I really respect and admire FH for bringing this up. He obviously really thought about this and loves you so much because he is right $$$$ problems have a huge impact on families and marriages. Well good luck and even if you change your date to 09 you still must post because we will miss you!!

aww this is not the worst thing that can happen! I know you were looking forward to an 08 wedding but you and FH show a lot of maturity and sensibility by pushing the wedding back. This is for you Don't be upset, you'll still have your dream wedding and with a hell a lot less stress after paying off those cc bills

Sounds like you made the right choice for the 2 of you. I wish you all the best in paying it off quickly and also in a 08 or 09 wedding!!!

Keep posting around here!!

There is no reason anyone would look @ you weird, when your on these boards . You & your FH are making a responsible decision . You should be proud of yourselfs!

Your RH should be understanding altho they might try to charge you more than the $20 sat. night upgrade, since the date is in '09. When we were looking in '06 for '08 most places said their prices would be slightly higher in '08. You havn't reached your one year mark, so they may be more understanding too

Thanks ladies for the kind words. The ONLY good thing that comes out of this for me (besides being more financially stable) is that I have a chance to loose some more weight before I order my dress!

I can completely relate because my fh and I also postponed our wedding a year. Same story as yours. I was an '07 bride and only had the hall booked when fh brought up the subject of postponing. At first I was like you, devastated. This was in Dec. But now I am so thankful we did postpone. More time to save $ and I had some unexpected bills pop up (car troubles among other things).
And my hall had no problem moving the date. They were very nice and said I could just move the deposit with the date.
So I hope you can see the positive things, if not now, you will soon. It will get easier but I know how hard it is right now.
Good luck!

well first off, even if you're not an 08 bride you are still welcome on our boards anytime!

2nd i think that waiting the extra year is fine! it does give u a chance to save and BE HAPPY!!!!! i think its great the your FH is thinking into the future so you guys will be happy!

Since it's the fourth of july you might not have to pay the extra $20 a head. Definately try to negotiate that. My cousin got married on a holiday that fell on a saturday because it was cheaper than doing that friday or sunday!

My venue told us we could reschedule the wedding, I'm sure there are some catches or something, but they made it seem like if we have to postpone we can. I think as long as you sign a new contract they are much easier to negotiate with.
You may lose some of the money you've already put down depending on where you are and what not.
I hear suffolk has cool laws that protect you in situations like this.

you should stay here with us! you can keep posting with us 08ers no one is gonna make you leave just b/c you changed the date.
<3

i'm sorry you are so upset but if you agree with your FH's points then i think you are making a great decision.

So sorry for your situation

I know that my hall does not charge ANY penalities if you postpone with them. Your hall might have the same situation. Its probably in your contract. I think as long as you're using the same place, they'll be flexible.

Good luck!

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Posted by Mimacat

So sorry for your situation

I know that my hall does not charge ANY penalities if you postpone with them. Your hall might have the same situation. Its probably in your contract. I think as long as you're using the same place, they'll be flexible.

Good luck!

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I just looked at the contract and all it says are that deposits are non-refundable but nothing about cancelling or postponing!?!?!?!?!?!? I dont get it!