one of my GM's is getting separated or whatever... and his soon-to-be ex has never been a friend of mine... matter of fact...frienemies would sum it up nicely. (i've even overheard her say thing about how fat i was at a friend's wedding)... of course, this is happening well after we sent our invites, so on the invite, they were both invited. well, in the meantime, the GM has a new GF... and is planning on bringer her. whatever.
ANYWAY, thursday night i got an email from his soon-to-be ex. it literally started 'hey brideypants...' and then went on to be so sticky-sweet you'd really wanna puke. she apologized for not RSVPing, told me that he left her and she doesn't know if he's gonna 'let' her come or if he's bringing his new GF... and basically went on and on and was totally prodding to get an additional invite to our wedding (which she's NOT getting)...
and then in the meantime... my MOH is planning my bachelorette party. and just before all the 'you know what hit' the fan, she had included her on the invite list. she was apparently the FIRST person to RSVP a big YES. and she's since been facebooking me DAILY, writing me little emails and totally kissing up to me. but she's only coming to basically p***** off her soon-to-be ex. and my MOH feels bad that she slipped and invited her thinking she wouldn't come, and i don't want her to come.
and i don't know what to do.
god, if this get's any more confusing...
and i'm mostly upset because there's so much drama surrounding my wedding as it is...now this total JERK of a girl is sending me inappropriate emails telling me very inappropriate details of their sorted demise... and all surrounding what's supposed to me the happiest time of my life... she's just looking for trouble and she only wants to come to get her manipulative meathooks in my wedding... and i don't know what to do...
any advice? i can FM too..i really don't know how to fix this and i'm really upset that i have to deal with this...
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
I would be honest with her and tell her that the only reason you tried to be friends with her was for her Husbands sake since he is a friend of yours but since you no longer have to pretend or keep up appearances you don't feel it's necessary to pretend to be friends any longer.
Life is short, it's your bachelorette party, why deal with someone you don't even like? I would tell her to stop kissing a$$ and go scratch! I would have the MOH uninvite her or do it yourself.
Good Luck with her
springsandra
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
You have FM!
EmiNoa628
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
If I were you I'll be STRAIGHT UP!!! You have enough going on and this S HIT is really not your problem.. When ANNOYING people become obnoxious they need to CUT OFF!!!
I have great advice on how to cut off people like that.. I did that with FBIL Broad of 15 Years!! Now she is a FAT Cow.. Not even Dr. 90210 can make something happen for her.. Which he said he will never MARRY becuase she is not worthy enough!! Big Losers!!!
You have more than enough with your wedding planning and the extra DRAMA is not necessary... You should speak with GM and let him know to solve the problem if not you will let her know exactly how your feel about her presence at your wedding... Good Luck
ETA: And for her saying you were fat!! You should really tell her she can't go!!
meara
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
Yes I would say hard as it is you should just cut it off with her. . . say something like you regret the way things turned out but it just won't work out to come to the wedding and under that light it seems innappropriate to come to the bach party. . and that you are sorry she is going through a hard time but you don't feel comfortable hearing things about the end of their relationship b/c of your relationship with your GM. . and then just let it go. .and if she keeps emailing I would just not respond. . .
MrsJuneB2B
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
i totally want to just tell her to p.iss off! i hate drama. you know how it gets with weddings, so much stress, so many things to think about... all you want to do is enjoy this time in your life, with your friends and family.. and i keep asking myself why is this person/these people putting their drama on me and my life and wedding?!
i am just afraid to make things awkward for my MOH (who's friends with this girl's SIL)... she's such a sweet girl, my MOH and she's worked so hard to make everything so nice and perfect for me... and now she feels awful for accidentally inviting her (not knowing all this behind the scenes crapola)...
the question is, do i talk to my MOH first or try to gather the courage to just tell this girl to go away (i'm SO not a confrontational person...)
MrsCM
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
I would flat out send her an email on facebook and say as politely as possible that the situation has changed and in order to not make anyone feel uncomfortable you're sorry but you'r going to have to ask her not to attend.
meara
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
I would DEF talk to your MOH first bc she should be prepared in case this dramaram girl calls her. . so she can be armed with the party line. . and also you can reiterate to your MOH that it's all good on her end. . and also to see if she cares how you handle it. Imean it is TOTALLY your decision but you wouldnt want this girl to call her and have her be on the spot!
good luck and don't let the drama bring you down!! You will NOT NOT NOT remember this girl in 5 years and you will remember all the good things!
Suzanner
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
You are not friends with this girl, so please don't feel strange in the least for telling her to hit the road, albeit politely.
Did she ever send you emails before this whole thing with her ex? It seems she's clearly using you to get to him, and GOD KNOWS if she's planning to make a scene. Not only don't you need that, but you don't even need to give the whole thing ONE MORE MINUTE OF YOUR TIME.
Tell your MOH you plan on disinviting her. If it upsets your MOH, that's messed up. I mean, it shouldn't affect her in the least. If it pisses this girl off, what is she going to do, take it out on your MOH? All MOH has to say is that it's your choice, and she has nothing to do with it. Simple as pie.
And as for this girl, I'd just give her a call (or, if you really don't care, send her an email) and tell her the truth- hey, I think this is getting to be a really tense situation, and I just would rather you guys dealt with it on your own. I'm so sorry, but I think it would be best if you didn't attend.
And a warning- if you call her, and she does the silent pause thing waiting for you to feel guilty, just let the silent pause go on. Don't back down- remember, this girl was so kind to you that she made fun of you behind your back. Do you really care about her feelings now? And since she clearly doesn't care about yours, she is capable of throwing a fit the likes of which you have never seen at your wedding- starting a fight with her ex, or his new GF. What does she care? Take care of it now, and then don't even think of it. Good luck!!
bride2binli
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
honestly I would never have invited her to the b--party but whats done is done. Have you been responding to her pathetic facebooks and emails? I hope not! If you were friends with the guy first which is what I am gathering I would be like look, I hate to pick side but he is in our bridal party I dont know if he is bringing anyone however, I don't think its approiate that you come being that you were invited cause you were his gf. We were acquinted due to your relationship, and Im sorry to say thats just what it is. Be polite get your point across and who cares if she takes it the wrong way or whatever you don't like her anyway!
MrsList
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
I would be as blunt as possible and say we're not friends, we never were. Don't drag me into your problems. It's not like you'll ever WANT to be friends with her so there's no love lost.
MrsJuneB2B
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
thanks girls! yeah, i totally agree with all of you. this whole thing is total BS and i didn't even go to bed until 3 am because i was so mad and upset (i hate drama...) i gotta talk to my moh tomorrow when she comes over and i'm definitely going to tell her that i gotta 'break it off' with this psycho.
oh and NO i never ever respond to her weird emails/posts... not that this stops her...but you're right that i shouldn't, and i haven't because i don't need to feed into that crap.
i'm not going to remember her in 5 years time and there's no way i'm going to let her get her little drama into my life now and ruin my day. OHN!
thanks for letting me vent!
Summertimegal424
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
i would totally be honest and up front with her.
twoifbysea
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
I would call her or email her and explain your stance on this whole thing without being emotional or apologetic. If she really has been your frenemy then you have every right to be no holds barred.
Your wedding is NOT a boxing arena or an excuse for her to get back at her ex. Moreover, you don't want to have to worry about what kind of scene or stunt this woman would try to pull on YOUR special day. ESPECIALLY since the GM, her ex, is bringing his current girlfriend. I could forsee ugly, ugly things!
I'd pose it something like this....
'I realize that as of late and as our big is approaching you've been reaching out to me and have shown enthusiasm about the wedding. I appreciate your excitement but as you can imagine, this situation has been problematic for by me and FH as (GM) has always been a close friend of FH's. We want to keep things copasetic on our wedding day and think that it be best if we all rekindle our friendships down the road, if it's in the cards.
Also, kindly refrain from sharing the details of your recent split with (GM). As someone who is EMBARKING on marriage, I'm focusing on of all of its positive and joyous aspects.
I know that (MOH) has sent you an invitation to my bparty, but after recent turn of events I think it be best that I spend my bparty with my family, BP and closest friends.
I really do appreciate your understanding about all this.'
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe
I would be honest with her and tell her that the only reason you tried to be friends with her was for her Husbands sake since he is a friend of yours but since you no longer have to pretend or keep up appearances you don't feel it's necessary to pretend to be friends any longer.
Life is short, it's your bachelorette party, why deal with someone you don't even like? I would tell her to stop kissing a$$ and go scratch! I would have the MOH uninvite her or do it yourself.
Good Luck with her
ITA! This is really the only way to go... cut her out fast before anything crazy happens
2009Bride2Be
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
Posted by MrsJuneB2B
i totally want to just tell her to p.iss off! i hate drama. you know how it gets with weddings, so much stress, so many things to think about... all you want to do is enjoy this time in your life, with your friends and family.. and i keep asking myself why is this person/these people putting their drama on me and my life and wedding?!
i am just afraid to make things awkward for my MOH (who's friends with this girl's SIL)... she's such a sweet girl, my MOH and she's worked so hard to make everything so nice and perfect for me... and now she feels awful for accidentally inviting her (not knowing all this behind the scenes crapola)...
the question is, do i talk to my MOH first or try to gather the courage to just tell this girl to go away (i'm SO not a confrontational person...)
First of all I would confront the girl in a polite BUT VERY stern way that your just not friends and you dont want to be in the middle of her mess and that is what she doing. Shes not coming to the wedding and not coming to the bachlorette party. Honestly the only way people can PUT YOU in their drama is IF YOU LET THEM. DONT LET HER! She sounds like a selfish person and THIS IS the happiest time of your life and EFF IT ALL, LET PEOPLE KNOW THIS TIME RIGHT NOW IS ABOUT YOU!!!!!!! YOUR THE BRIDE! =))) And you dont have to be confrontational just write a nice email. with a very matter of fact attitude about it. Hey I appreciate that you still want to be here during this time but it makes me uncomfortable and I would appreciate if you could respect my boundaries. Im sorry but I wont be inviting you to the wedding that would not be fair to the GM's and it would negatively affect my relationship with him, which I cannot have. With that I also dont think it would be appropriate to have you come to the bachelorette party either. It was nice knowing you but I cannot pretend to be friends any longer. I wish you the best in all you do.
And its not your MOH's place to say anything about it. its YOURS. Going through your MOH would say to this girl #1 your afraid to confront her and #2 your now involving your MOH in YOUR mess so to speak. Its DEF NOT the right thing to do.
gina409
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
Posted by meara
Yes I would say hard as it is you should just cut it off with her. . . say something like you regret the way things turned out but it just won't work out to come to the wedding and under that light it seems innappropriate to come to the bach party. . and that you are sorry she is going through a hard time but you don't feel comfortable hearing things about the end of their relationship b/c of your relationship with your GM. . and then just let it go. .and if she keeps emailing I would just not respond. . .
ita...i mean if u dont care for her then just cut her off...if it gets ugly who cares..u dont have to see her again .....i would just be honest and say she was invited as a guest and since she is not with gm it might be starnge...u can also use the fact that u r closer with him and u dont want to make him uncomfy.....i think either way u have to be flat out blunt...either let her come and deal with her or just be honest and tell her......do u think the reason she wants to come so bad is to see the gm?
MrsJuneB2B
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
she def. wants to come to see the ex. plus she's hellbent on coming to the bach-party...
gina409
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Re: ok...two words for you: DRA MA... HELP!!!!!
this might sound crazy but do her n the ex still talk at all? maybe he can talk 2 her and be like come on now..this is her wedding..stop starting drama..she wants me there not u?
