Open Bar at Reception??

Original post by belleboyd

Apr 03, 2004 10:45 PM

I am thinking about not having an open bar at my reception.

Beer/Wine/Soda/Juice/Champagne punch only.

Anything else would be cash.

I would run a tab for the bridal party (for whatever they & dates want).

Would you be outraged? Spend the entire car ride home talking about how cheap we are?

Opinions??

belleboyd Posted: Apr 04, 2004 10:41 AM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

WOW! Thanks for all the responses !!!

You're right - it's not what I wanted to hear... but I will bow to the majority.... and figure out a way. Maybe running a tab might be the cheaper thing to do.

I was also thinking about having a -limited- open bar. Just a specific set of alcholic drinks. Would that be a reasonable compromise do you think???

MY FH is all for cash bar, but it just didn't feel right. Chalk it up to Long Island I guess!

Thanks again!!

steph4777 Posted: Apr 04, 2004 11:08 AM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

Running a tab might get expensive, so you're better off going for a full open bar.

At my MOH's wedding, there was absolutely NO alcohol. It didn't feel right drinking a sprite with my meal. She said that in the south (they got married in Memphis) open bars are not common. Being a NYer I was Had never heard of such a thing.

groovypeg Posted: Apr 04, 2004 11:14 AM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

Open bar. Definitely.

EvenEdan Posted: Apr 04, 2004 12:22 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

Posted by Belleboyd:
Would you be outraged? Spend the entire car ride home talking about how cheap we are?

This is exactly what we'd be saying on the car ride home. Sorry, but to have a wedding in this town, open bar is not optional.

Summer Bride Posted: Apr 04, 2004 12:25 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

I would definitely go for the open bar.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Apr 04, 2004 01:16 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

Posted by steph4777

Running a tab might get expensive, so you're better off going for a full open bar.

At my MOH's wedding, there was absolutely NO alcohol. It didn't feel right drinking a sprite with my meal. She said that in the south (they got married in Memphis) open bars are not common. Being a NYer I was Had never heard of such a thing.

LOL I partly grew up in Nashville and the weddings always had open bars - I have a lot of family down south (Texas, etc) and they all had open bars - so I don't think that is it - In fact they have not been to wedding with a cash bar either.

I hate to say it but I don't think it is right to invite people to something then ask them to pay - that is just general etiquette ANYWHERE - but again many don't follow it.

I would say try to have the open bar save money on something else - but if you honestly can't afford it then just have the open bar at least have the items listed above and DON'T offer anything else - to ask a guest to pay for something isn't right JMO. You have asked them to be a part of your day it would be like inviting people to your house for dinner then telling them it is $8 for a martini, or $3 for a soda - I don't think that would even occur to any of us to do

divabride Posted: Apr 04, 2004 02:12 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

I purchased a book on etiquette and it says if you are looking to stay within a budget, it is better to cut people from your guest list than to have a cash bar. Guests should never be asked to pay for anything including drinks, coat check-in, parking, etc. How about cutting corners? For the cocktail hour, have the beer wine and soda plus a 'signature drink'. Or you can ask the catering hall to stop serving liquor an hour before the reception ends. This may drop the price a bit.

bxgell2 Posted: Apr 04, 2004 02:20 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

I'm usually pretty liberal and non-traditional on most things, but I have to agree with everyone else... open bar is the way to go. I read in a bridal magazine somewhere, that a way to save money is to have a 'theme' that continues with your drinks... so, offer a few liquor 'theme' drinks, but not many more... or, if you're really strapped for cash, you can ask the hall if you can supply the alcohol yourself (much cheaper in bulk)... and, remember, there are always ways to cut back elsewhere... when we met with our caterer, we got him to go down in price from $125 per person not incluidng tax & service, to $100 per person including tax & service, just by playing around with the menu...

jillnbrad Posted: Apr 04, 2004 02:21 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

Open Bar....in my opinion it's wrong to ask your guests to pay for their drinks!

Maribelle7777 Posted: Apr 04, 2004 02:24 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

No offense but I wouldn't be outraged but I'd think it was strange. Does your hall not provide an open bar?

oakslady Posted: Apr 04, 2004 02:24 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

i really wouldnt expect people to pay for drinks at a wedding - if you arent going to have open bar then do wine/beer/soda only and dont ahve a cash bar - i personally think it is kinda cheezy - JMO

nan&dave Posted: Apr 04, 2004 02:26 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

Open bar a must. JMO.

lanikai Posted: Apr 04, 2004 02:57 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

you might want to consider finding a reception hall that allows you to bring your own alcohol, it cuts down on the cost.

However depending on the time of day that you choose to have your wedding I don't think there's anything wrong with beer/wine/soda/juice. I think it works quite nicely for a brunch or lunch wedding.

If you do go with the beer/wine/soda, just let that be it. Definitely DON'T offer a cash bar. I think the cash bar aspect of things is what might offend folks.

Also, remember it is your day and you have to do what you feel is right for you particularly what is right for you financially. If you feel that the extra money you would be spending on having hard liquor at your reception can go towards something else that makes your day even more special for you and your guests, I say go for it. I am sure you notice that with wedding planning it is very hard to appease everyone.

Folks should not be coming to wedding for an open bar, they are coming to celebrate your special day with you. Whether or not they get to drink hard liquor should not destroy the day for them or you.

Good luck!

Alabama Posted: Apr 04, 2004 03:31 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

FH and I do not drink alcohol, as the matter of fact neither do our immediate families. We have OOT guest and friends who do drink. So we needed to have an open bar. I would not see it appropiate to have a cash bar, even if there are only a few drinkers at my wedding.

jen110704 Posted: Apr 04, 2004 03:39 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

Posted by jillnbrad

Open Bar....in my opinion it's wrong to ask your guests to pay for their drinks!

I agree. When people go to a wedding they don't expect to pay for their own drinks.

eogara Posted: Apr 04, 2004 03:46 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

Oooh, tacky tacky tacky. Your guests should not have to pay a DIME for anything at your wedding!! Try to cut another way but IMO having a cash bar is just NOT an option.

dm24angel Posted: Apr 04, 2004 06:47 PM

Re: Open Bar at Reception??

open bar, I think its worth the money, we have at least 70% of the wedding we know will drink and more then beer and wine maybe 40% , it just seems more appropriate to allow it all...