Opinions please - Bridal shower/engagement party drama (sorry kinda long)
Original post by tlp123
I am very very upset right now.
I was engaged in May 07. My fiance and I decided to have a short engagement, so we are getting married in Feb 08.
My mother wanted to throw me an engagement party, so we had one this past August.
Since I am getting married, i want to have all the fun things that go along with getting married - a bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc. To me, it is about the celebration. I don't often throw or go to parties, so it would be fun to have these celebrations.
So, after the engagement party, my MOH was in the process of planning my bridal shower. I don't know when it was being planned for, but some time between now and February.
But, apparently, people (she won't tell me who) were resentful about the fact that we are having parties so close together. Responses such as 'How many gifts does she want???' came up.
She feels badly about telling me this, but I am glad that she did b/c I don't want people smiling to my face, but hating the fact that they are at my bridal shower. It is not about the gifts to me, it is about the celebration.
I considered saying 'no gifts' or 'wishing well gifts only' on the bridal shower invitation, but then some people feel obligated anyway, I don't want people to do anything they don't want to. And I don't want to be around people who are resentful about my party. I want to be around people who are truly happy for me.
I will probably just end up having something very small with people i am very close with (bridal party, mother, maybe some cousins....)
Has this or something similar happened to anyone? What is your opinion? I am really very sad about this.
Jennifer907
Posted:
Member since
Re: Opinions please - Bridal shower/engagement party drama (sorry kinda long)
I think this is a pretty common complaint of people actually. But don't let it bother you! I had someone asking my FMIL why I was having a shower if FH and I already live together. Because I'm a bride b!tch!!! And there were comments that I registered for a ton of stuff ('Why is she asking for so much?!?') Ummm, so you have a variety to choose from dumba$$!!! The funy thing is FMIL's theory is it's one or the other. FH and I didn't have an e-party so she believes I deserved the shower. FHs brother and his fiance on the other hand had an e-party so she doesn't think she should have a shower. I actually didn't even know gifts were given at an e-party until one of my friends told me when FH and I were thinking of having one. IMO, you deserve to celebrate this time in your life and you should not feel guilty about it at all! Tell your sister to plan the shower for a month or 2 before the wedding and....Enjoy it!!!
Wedding999
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Re: Opinions please - Bridal shower/engagement party drama (sorry kinda long)
This is why i specifically did not want an engagement party - i dont really understand the point of them. We decided to invite out are closest friends to go to a bar and have some drinks to celebrate. Most people expect to be invited to a shower when someone is getting married so they shouldn't be surpirsed your mom is throwing one. And if they gave a gift at your engagement they should just pick up something small for your shower if they feel like they already bought something. But i never think its good taste to say stuff like they said. They could just decline the invitiation.
tlp123
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Member since
Re: Opinions please - Bridal shower/engagement party drama (sorry kinda long)
Posted by nifheim
honestly it is not your fault!
Guests I am sure were informed that your engagement was a short one and you would be married in feb. When the E party was setup the guests should of just given you a token gift and save the rest for the shower fully knowing that it was coming up rather quickly. So therefore the guests are wrong in saying anything negative.
The only way it would be wrong is if your guests had no clue when your date was - your mom threw the e party and then the guest found out OH god the shower is only a few more months away. Then I would say your being gift hungry or at least presenting yourself to be.
I told everyone who I spoke to that the wedding was in February. (And people complain about that too - 'Why are you having it in FEBRUARY?').Those who I didn't speak to, speak to others, so most people should have known.
And thanks again to everyone for your support
thelastresort
Posted:
Member since
Re: Opinions please - Bridal shower/engagement party drama (sorry kinda long)
Are you kidding? Well tough tookies on them! What bride doesn't want or deserve a shower! Give me a break! Dont' let them bring you down. Let your MOH do her thing, tell her you don't want to know or hear about it and let it be done with. Please.
