Our Suggested Church Donation...is this right?

Excuse me, but i have to comment here...and I think I may tick some people off, but i just have to put in my thoughts here. If you cannot handle a donation to your church without complaining on your wedding day, then get married elsewhere! People on this site spend well over a $100 a head on their reception, but complain when the Church asks for a simple donation. Girls will spend thousands on flowers but can't fork over $400.00 to their church. These amounts are usually suggested donations and can probably be negoitiated if money is a real issue. but for most brides on here who are paying THOUSANDS for their reception, money is not an issue.

You are receiving the Sacrament of Marriage!!! You are paying for the time of the church musicians, the priests and possibly the custodial staff. This money is going to the church community and goes right back to the parishoners. I don't know... these complaints about the donation to the Church really bother me. If you can't give some money out of respect and gratitude to your Church in honor of your receipt of the sacrament of marriage, you should get married somewhere.... maybe at the reception hall--- or but wait, they might charge you extra for that too!

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Posted by donegal419

Excuse me, but i have to comment here...and I think I may tick some people off, but i just have to put in my thoughts here. If you cannot handle a donation to your church without complaining on your wedding day, then get married elsewhere! People on this site spend well over a $100 a head on their reception, but complain when the Church asks for a simple donation. Girls will spend thousands on flowers but can't fork over $400.00 to their church. These amounts are usually suggested donations and can probably be negoitiated if money is a real issue. but for most brides on here who are paying THOUSANDS for their reception, money is not an issue.

You are receiving the Sacrament of Marriage!!! You are paying for the time of the church musicians, the priests and possibly the custodial staff. This money is going to the church community and goes right back to the parishoners. I don't know... these complaints about the donation to the Church really bother me. If you can't give some money out of respect and gratitude to your Church in honor of your receipt of the sacrament of marriage, you should get married somewhere.... maybe at the reception hall--- or but wait, they might charge you extra for that too!

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I agree with your statement completely.

My original intent was to find out whether or not our fee was average or not.

But, it's true, of all the things to 'complain' about when it comes to paying for a wedding, the LEAST should be the donation for the ceremony. I mean, isn't that what it's all about anyway?

$1,000 for the church - ew...$1,000 for a chocolate fountain - have to have it....time to take a step back here...

Ours was $750!!!

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Posted by donegal419

Excuse me, but i have to comment here...and I think I may tick some people off, but i just have to put in my thoughts here. If you cannot handle a donation to your church without complaining on your wedding day, then get married elsewhere! People on this site spend well over a $100 a head on their reception, but complain when the Church asks for a simple donation. Girls will spend thousands on flowers but can't fork over $400.00 to their church. These amounts are usually suggested donations and can probably be negoitiated if money is a real issue. but for most brides on here who are paying THOUSANDS for their reception, money is not an issue.

You are receiving the Sacrament of Marriage!!! You are paying for the time of the church musicians, the priests and possibly the custodial staff. This money is going to the church community and goes right back to the parishoners. I don't know... these complaints about the donation to the Church really bother me. If you can't give some money out of respect and gratitude to your Church in honor of your receipt of the sacrament of marriage, you should get married somewhere.... maybe at the reception hall--- or but wait, they might charge you extra for that too!

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i agree with you in part. of course it is someone's choice to get married in the church or to not get married in the church (well i should say most people, i do not have that choice as my family is catholic and that's our church but that's OK by me, i would want to be married there either way)...
i had a problem with the fact that the priest did several things that made me feel unwelcomed in my OWN church and that took a lot of special feelings away for me and my FH. the priest who is now the head priest at my church and who we spoke with is not the two priests that i grew up with and grew to care about very much.
when i told him i wanted to get married on a sunday he rolled his eyes at me and stated that i was choosing to be difficult when picking that day. he asked why we couldn't just have it on a saturday and i explained i would love to but i don't have the money for a saturday (with everything else) and he said well i dont know what to tell you but i will not do a mass on sunday because i already do two regular masses for church goers on sunday morning. i mean, what is the 700 bucks going towards if you are saying 'it's my job but i dont want to do it that day b/c i'm overworked'... i was devastated...
so i found another priest who is a family friend from another parish to come and marry us with a mass. that lets the church's priest off the hook, i dont need an organist (hiring my own string quartet b/c he told me i NO church musicians would be available for me that day), i'm not using ANYTHING from that church except the building and the lights. my guest priest is bringing two altar boys and i am paying them seperately in addition to the 700 dollars. i thought that this would resolve everything and the priest would be HAPPY and NICE to us and instead he just said 'fine, do what you want but you'd better make sure there are no baptisms that day'. i mean, we are getting married, i thought not only would that be embraced with open arms but that the fact that we want a mass would be supported too, he told us to just get it over with in a twenty minute ceremony, that we were 'over-doing it'. !!!!
i was baptised here, had my communion, my parents belonged to this parish and are ORIGINAL members and i remember all the money they donated over the years (and still donate reguarly to this day) when they had no money at all to get us out of a RENTED room in a local deaf school and have that church built and it would make the priests that i grew up with (they were so sweet and grateful) who were transferred SICK if they knew how we (as parishioners) were treated when i went to go meet with the new priest.
i've dreamed of getting married in my church since i was little and Fh PROPOSED to me in the courtyard!! and that's the attititude i was met with. i know i made a few wise cracks about the money b/c i didn't want to get into all of this but when it comes down to it, what he did really deeply hurt me and fh...
so i'm paying that 700 for the lights to burn in the church for the 30 minute rehearsal and the one hour mass and that's it. the priest wont even be there that day.
he sent us on our way with a booklet of rules that says we can't throw ANYTHING or have bubbles (also, no runner or anything on the pews-- no decor at all), that my photographer cannot come within 30 feet of the altar-- thirty feet? he might as well be in the parking lot! and that we cannot take any pics after the ceremony is over and we are to and I QUOTE 'vacate the premises as soon as possible'.. i was going to call my original priests (they are in garden city now) and tell them this but i didn't want to cause waves, i felt bad (they taught us it's not the 'catholic way' to do that)... but if they knew, they would be very upset.

that's why i complained and believe me i understand your point... i really do, but some things are just not right in certain cases. i hope this doesn't sound too harsh b/c i dont mean it that way, it was just a very upsetting ordeal for me and my FH. i hope you can understand why.

I think ours is $250 - and our church is much more upfront about it - they don't call it a donation, the call it a fee (still tax deductible though).

I think a fee is understandable, but some of the amounts you girls are paying - the churches are just being greedy in my opinion... It's a site fee...that should be pretty standard from church to church.

We didn't end up getting married in a church, but since DH and I were parishors where we did want to get married, it would have cost $2k!

We got married at Giorgio's. The priest got $400 (a suggested 'donation' as well) and Giorgio's charged us an extra $500. So, we paid $900 for our ceremony.

We're paying $500.....

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Posted by JNMWineBride
I think a fee is understandable, but some of the amounts you girls are paying - the churches are just being greedy in my opinion... It's a site fee...that should be pretty standard from church to church.

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It has nothing to do with the churches being greedy. Each church has different costs - depends on where they are located (LI, Brooklyn, NYC), how many parishioners they have, how much people tithe each week, how many people they have on staff (varies because of church size), size of the property which will effect upkeep costs, size of the church (higher heating bills, electric, etc.) and many other factors.

It is the responsibility of the parishioners to keep a church up and running. If a couple came to a church and said we are poor but love each other and want to be married, no priest would turn you away. Luckily most on this site are lucky enough to not be in that situation or we wouldn't have so much to plan.

i agree with you in part. of course it is someone's choice to get married in the church or to not get married in the church (well i should say most people, i do not have that choice as my family is catholic and that's our church but that's OK by me, i would want to be married there either way)...
i had a problem with the fact that the priest did several things that made me feel unwelcomed in my OWN church and that took a lot of special feelings away for me and my FH. the priest who is now the head priest at my church and who we spoke with is not the two priests that i grew up with and grew to care about very much.
when i told him i wanted to get married on a sunday he rolled his eyes at me and stated that i was choosing to be difficult when picking that day. he asked why we couldn't just have it on a saturday and i explained i would love to but i don't have the money for a saturday (with everything else) and he said well i dont know what to tell you but i will not do a mass on sunday because i already do two regular masses for church goers on sunday morning. i mean, what is the 700 bucks going towards if you are saying 'it's my job but i dont want to do it that day b/c i'm overworked'... i was devastated...
so i found another priest who is a family friend from another parish to come and marry us with a mass. that lets the church's priest off the hook, i dont need an organist (hiring my own string quartet b/c he told me i NO church musicians would be available for me that day), i'm not using ANYTHING from that church except the building and the lights. my guest priest is bringing two altar boys and i am paying them seperately in addition to the 700 dollars. i thought that this would resolve everything and the priest would be HAPPY and NICE to us and instead he just said 'fine, do what you want but you'd better make sure there are no baptisms that day'. i mean, we are getting married, i thought not only would that be embraced with open arms but that the fact that we want a mass would be supported too, he told us to just get it over with in a twenty minute ceremony, that we were 'over-doing it'. !!!!
i was baptised here, had my communion, my parents belonged to this parish and are ORIGINAL members and i remember all the money they donated over the years (and still donate reguarly to this day) when they had no money at all to get us out of a RENTED room in a local deaf school and have that church built and it would make the priests that i grew up with (they were so sweet and grateful) who were transferred SICK if they knew how we (as parishioners) were treated when i went to go meet with the new priest.
i've dreamed of getting married in my church since i was little and Fh PROPOSED to me in the courtyard!! and that's the attititude i was met with. i know i made a few wise cracks about the money b/c i didn't want to get into all of this but when it comes down to it, what he did really deeply hurt me and fh...
so i'm paying that 700 for the lights to burn in the church for the 30 minute rehearsal and the one hour mass and that's it. the priest wont even be there that day.
he sent us on our way with a booklet of rules that says we can't throw ANYTHING or have bubbles (also, no runner or anything on the pews-- no decor at all), that my photographer cannot come within 30 feet of the altar-- thirty feet? he might as well be in the parking lot! and that we cannot take any pics after the ceremony is over and we are to and I QUOTE 'vacate the premises as soon as possible'.. i was going to call my original priests (they are in garden city now) and tell them this but i didn't want to cause waves, i felt bad (they taught us it's not the 'catholic way' to do that)... but if they knew, they would be very upset.

that's why i complained and believe me i understand your point... i really do, but some things are just not right in certain cases. i hope this doesn't sound too harsh b/c i dont mean it that way, it was just a very upsetting ordeal for me and my FH. i hope you can understand why.

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i am so sorry to hear of the troubles you are havign with the priest at your Church. He sounds like he being a bit unreasonable with some things and I am sorry to hear that. I understand some of your points and I see how this is upsetting to you. I just wanted to GENERALLY point out the fact that there are other people that complain about a donation while they will spend thousands on other things; like what's really important about my wedding day?' I do realize that your situation is different. good luck to you.... and although it might not be what you envisioned ENJOY getting married in your home parish.