Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

Are you having any problems with your BM's? I mean being picky with dresses, not putting down a deposit or totally not being supportive.

I ask this question only because I chose not to have BM's because of those very reasons. My friends approached me alltogether this weekend about my bridal party and I told them my reasoning- that I do not want to deal w/the drama I hear that goes on. I do not regret my decision, but sometimes I wonder if I was being a bit presumptuous.

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I am very lucky, I found the dress fell in love with it brought my MOH had her try it on, it looked wonderful.. Then I made an appointment with the bridal store on a sunday, sent my girls an invitation with a cute poem about a month before stating the date and time we were to get fitted, told them how much the deposit would be, and if someone couldn't come that date to tell me and I would go with them at another time.. It worked out well and the dresses are ordered.. But I was nervous about that.. I warned everyone ahead of time about how much everything would be they agreed. I also told them not to feel bad if they couldn't afford to be in the wedding party..

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

Diamonds & Pearls, Satin & Lace
Issues of Brides, books
all over the place
I’ve chosen my gown, and
now it is time,
to give my attention to very
special girlfriends of mine
You’ve been right
beside me in good
times and bad, we
have such great
memories of times
we have shared
So now lets get going!
Lets have some more fun,
Time to go pick out a bridesmaid gown
for everyone!

Here is the poem..

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I have been very lucky (I have 7 BMs!) especially with the fact that they all had to get the the store within 1 week to order their dresses (the dresses were going to be discontinued!)

And Mishy, that poem is too cute!!!

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I've been pretty lucky too. I picked out the gown on my own. My MOH was the only one who came with me looking. It was easier that way and it worked! We haven't gotten that far into the planning where I need to depend on them yet... So we'll see! I think I picked the right bunch of ladies

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I have 7 BM and they have all been great! They kept telling me any dress I chose was okay with them. My MOH and I narrowed the choices down and then I went with the other BM at different times (every lives in different states) to look at them and chose the one I wanted. Now, I'm trying to find 2 Jr. BM dresses. . .

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

My BMs were the best with the exception the FSIL and I fixed her a*&. My girls are great.

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I have 7 BM's. To reduce the drama as much as possible, I went with separates. I picked the skirts and let them pick the tops. So far so good!!!

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I did same as Karen for the BM/MOH dresses. All my girls have been very cooperative. They think I['m great for giving them their choice of tops. The only ones who have no choice are the FGs and Jr. BMs, I picked everything for them

Besides that, everyone has been helpful and happy for me. My girls are a gem.

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I had a big bridal party and no real drama but I picked people I knew ahead of time would not give me grief. I also gave them choices in dresses and in their hair. I wanted them all to be comfy. Everything worked out great. I think the drama does not really come from how large the group is but who is in the group. Don't pick people that you know usually cause trouble or are more into taking over your wedding plans. Yiou need girls that are willing to work with you no matter what.

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

My girlfriends are wonderful people, let me first say that.

We do however have issues when we go out. Someone is always late, some of them are very cheap and they can be picky. Whenver we do things together it is a production sometimes. Imagine them being in a bridal party.

I love them dearly, however I know what I can expect sometimes with them.

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

When I got engaged my friend that had just got married told me straight out do not pick anyone to be in the bridal party that is known for being late. Thank God I had the heads up on that one.

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

So far my bm's (six of them) have been great. They told me they are willing to wear anything (and they're all about the same size which makes it easier).

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I had 8 girls. Since my wedding was NOT a democracy there was not too much of the petty stuff going on. Here is some of the stuff that helped me avoid some drama: 1) I took my sister and best friend to look at gowns. I knew that I wanted seprates and purple. They both tried on an outfit, it looked good on both of them (they havevery different body types) and the decision was made.Then everyone ordered their dresses. 2) I didn't ask much of most of them. My sister and best friend helped me when I asked, but so did my friends like Cindy and Claud2001 and Stef. My moms paid for my shower so that also was not a major issue 3)I should have not asked my DH's sisters, not because I don't like them but we are not really that close and they live up in MA. We have very different ideas about how weddings are done and that became a point of conflict for me. But overall they didn't cause a problem. It was more of my expecations of them.

Are your friends upset that they are not BMs? Perhaps you can still involve them in the wedding plans without having a large BP, ask them to do a reading or help you with some favors etc....

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

Michelle:

My friends have not communicated to me that they are upset. I will take your thoughts into consideration and involve them. I really want them to share the day with me, but I cannot take the chance that they will stress me with a variety of things. Just friday we had a gettogether at one our friend's house and the time was 6ish? I went to work and came afterward, I did not get there until 640pm and I felt bad, the rest of them did not get there until 730-8pm. Just an example of what I may expect.

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Nrvbrd, do something simple to include them. maybe a special song for all your special friends or I dont know, cant think know. Anyway you get the picture

Ps. As long as woman are around, there is always some kind of DRAMA

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I have one BM whois flat out cheap. Doesn't want her hair or makeup done that day and says she'll only put a deposit on her dress in case the store goes out of business-WTF?!??!?!?! Me & my other BM's are getting tired of her crap!

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

There is always one. That happend to us one time. And we the bridal party put her in her place. I cant stand when people whine. You accepted the offer and thats it.

Re: Out of curiosity those having large bridal parties....

I have 10 girls total and one bridesmaid didn't help out as much as the other ones and I heard about that, the only complaint was my Jr. bridesmaid who thinks her dress will make her look like a baby. I mean she's 11 what did she expect a sassy number. My FSIL would have killed me