Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

Hi ladies,
I'm an out-of-town bridesmaid, who is unable to attend my friend's bridal shower and the bachelorette party. However, for the actual wedding, I am buying my own bridesmaid dress (~$200), paying ~$1,000 for mine and my fiance's airfare and probably $300-$400 for hotel stay the night before/after the wedding. I also plan to give a wedding gift from the two of us in the neighborhood of $350-$400, which is the norm among my group of friends.
Question is...should I still send a bridal shower gift even if I'm not attending? If so, what do you think is appropriate?

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

It does sound like a lot! I know being in a wedding party is expensive but I think you should still send a gift. You guys must be close since you're one of her bridesmaids. It doesn't have to be expensive since you're already spending so much. I think it's the thought that counts

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

I agree- you should send something, even if it's little. Something small and sentimental would be a nice surprise especially if you can't be there!

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

I agree with the others. I think it would be poor taste to not send even just a small gift off the registry.

Re: Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

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Posted by FBC81

I agree with the others. I think it would be poor taste to not send even just a small gift off the registry.

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Totally agree with this. I know being a bridesmaid is expensive but you should def still send a gift. It's the right thing. I was unable to attend one of my friends showers and I was a bridesmaid, and I mailed her a gift.

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

Thanks, all. Do you think a ~$30 item off her registry would be ok?

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

You're a bridesmaid. You need to give a decent gift. Unless it's really difficult financially, you should give a gift valued $75-$100.

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

I would send a gift. Check with the rest of the girls, I feel like most bridal parties chip in on one of the good gifts.

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

You could get her something maybe not off her registry like something personalized.. A channa plaque or hanger with her new last name if she doesn't have one already. That way she won't know how much you spent and you can keep it to how much you can afford.

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

I think you need to send something. Even if it's something small.

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

Yes

Re: Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

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Posted by rcotter90

You could get her something maybe not off her registry like something personalized.. A channa plaque or hanger with her new last name if she doesn't have one already. That way she won't know how much you spent and you can keep it to how much you can afford.

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I think this is a better idea.

Re: Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

Re: Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

Thanks for the responses.
I like the below idea too :)

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Posted by FBC81

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Posted by rcotter90

You could get her something maybe not off her registry like something personalized.. A channa plaque or hanger with her new last name if she doesn't have one already. That way she won't know how much you spent and you can keep it to how much you can afford.

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I think this is a better idea.

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Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

agreed- send something small. My OOT bridesmaid was unsure if she would be making it due to work- she did but still had a gift shipped to my house prior to her even knowing.

Re: Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

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Posted by rcotter90

You could get her something maybe not off her registry like something personalized.. A channa plaque or hanger with her new last name if she doesn't have one already. That way she won't know how much you spent and you can keep it to how much you can afford.

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This was what I was trying to say. Something sentimental and doesn't have to cost a lot. But if $30 is all you can spend on a registry gift, that's fine. There is no rule that you have to spend a lot of money just because you're a BM!

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

I always think it's weird that people spend tons of money on bridal shower gifts, then give loads of cash at a wedding too. I think you should pick a small item fromtheir registry and get it for them. Or, the idea mentioned above of getting them something meaningful, but custom, is also a great idea.

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

I always think it's weird that people spend tons of money on bridal shower gifts, then give loads of cash at a wedding too. I think you should pick a small item from their registry and get it for them. Or, the idea mentioned above of getting them something meaningful, but custom, is also a great idea.

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

something small like 20-$30 to show that you are thinking of her is perfect

Out-of-town bridesmaid who can't attend the bridal shower. Should I give a gift?

I'm going to be the odd one out. Considering all that you are spending, a card would suffice. If she's your real friend she'll understand.