FH and I are completely footing the bill for the entire wedding. Do we still have to give parent gifts at the rehersal dinner? Traditionally the bride and groom give the parents gifts in thanks for the wedding that their parents have paid for for them, but our parents didn't pay. Should we still give them something for being our parents and supporting us or are we off the hook? I don't mean to sound cheap but its getting down to the end and we have big payments due and every penny counts.
drivwal
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
are you getting parent albums with your photography package?? you could most def consider that a gift for them. just let them know that they are getting that when your photographer finishes it. also you can get them really sweet cards for the rehearsal dinner and maybe some handkerchiefs with the nice poems on it? small stuff it doesn't have to be a lot. i am giving my parents the parent albums and an edited video of the wedding as their gift. i am not being cheap i just can't afford more than that. don't worry...you will be able to do something nice..small is still nice.
stressfree111
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I wouldn't go crazy with the gifts. Get them something small and inexpensive.
gonzalezm3
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FH and I are also paying for the entire wedding ourselves and we are still giving gifts to his parents and mine. To me, its a more of a thank you for being our parents gift. I am sure you can find something inexpensive? Maybe make them a scrapbook of photos from when you were a baby till now.
MrsCM
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
We are having this issue as well because FH's parents are paying quite a bit and not only are my parents not but my mother has been particularly uncooperative during this whole thing. So we are buying gifts for everyone but more for his parents I think although we may not advertise that.
MrsList
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
Are they being helpful or not involved in the process? If they're not involved, then I would say no gift but if your mom is helping stuff envelopes and wrapping favors in her spare time, I would get something nice for her and your dad likewise. I don't think you have to get them both something if only one is actually helping.
MarjorieFrank
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
I think that you should still give them a gift as thank you
JAAMS
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I say get them something that is small & inexpensive, yet still meaningful.
futureMrsJSL
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Keep it simple and sweet
alli3131
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Our parents helped us a little (and I mean little) bit. I gave them each an 8 x 10 silver picture frame.
I think something like that would be good. That way you acknowledge them but arent spending a lot of money
sophisticat13
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
I agree with the above brides, get them something small to thank them for being there for you in other ways. Or the parent albums are perfect...DH and I paid for our wedding almost 100% also (his mom paid for most of the RD). We gave his mother a gc to a lobster dinner and a small (non-pro) album. We are also giving her an 8x10 pic of us on our wedding day.
caper24
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
I think a hankie is a perfect gift for what you described your situation to be. Newtraditionshankies.com has beautiful hankies with (or without) poems. I think it would be a perfect token without having to spend much. I think they are about $15 per hankie. Something to consider, HTH.
Mrs. Bernabe
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my parents helped a little and we got them a cloned album and DH's mom a regular parents album. I considered those to be the gifts.
What
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I gave my parents gifts for being my parents... not because they gave me something. That's how everyone does it where I come from.
dajc23
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Our parents gave birth to us and raised us. We felt it was only right to thank them. We paid for the entire wedding ourselves yet still managed to spend money to buy them something nice.
Even if it's small, it's nice to show your appreciation for everything they've done.
JMO
teenigrrl
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we paid for our wedding ourselves, and still gave our parents gifts just for being our parents. you don't have to break the bank for a gift. a small token of your appreciation of them is all that's needed.
GinaZ
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
personally I would still give them something. They may not have aid for the wedding, but for me, I'd think of it as they paid for everything while I was growing up to get me to where i am now, and a wedding kinda signifies leaving the nest so to speak (even if you left years ago, lol) so I think its a good time to give a thank you to them and present them with a little something.
ETA: if not getting them something is a money issue, maybe you could make something for them? Maybe a scrap book or something like that.
MJDoc12
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
I don't see why you wouldn't provide a gift to your parents anyway no matter if they paid or not? What does that have to do with it?
A gift is from your HEART and it should say 'Thank you for giving birth to me, raising me and allowing me to grow up and find the perfect person that I can spend the rest of my life with, without your guidance and help thru the years, I wouldn't be the person I am today---THANK YOU'
DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves, and we still gave gifts to our parents because it wasn't about the materialistic aspect of the wedding -- it was about the fact that they are our parents and we love them.
mrsdraskin2009
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I personally think it is rude not to.
It isn't about paying for the wedding. My parents gave me life, supported me through the years both emotionally and financially, have been amazing to me my whole life....to honor them with a token of my appreciation AS MY PARENTS is what it means to me, that they love me, care for me, and are a part of my special day, regardless of who is paying
leeserd
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Re: Parent Gifts For Parents Who Aren't Paying?
Posted by MJDoc12
I don't see why you wouldn't provide a gift to your parents anyway no matter if they paid or not? What does that have to do with it?
A gift is from your HEART and it should say 'Thank you for giving birth to me, raising me and allowing me to grow up and find the perfect person that I can spend the rest of my life with, without your guidance and help thru the years, I wouldn't be the person I am today---THANK YOU'
DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves, and we still gave gifts to our parents because it wasn't about the materialistic aspect of the wedding -- it was about the fact that they are our parents and we love them.
First of all, as I stated, the gifts to the parents are traditionally given because they paid for the wedding and while it might be ideal in modern times to give parents gifts just for being parents, the reality of having to pay for an entire wedding during hard economic times may not allow for that type of generosity. As I also stated, I am not trying to be cheap, but big payments are looming. You are also assuming that everyone has the type of relationship with their parents that you are describing.
