FH and I hadn't heard about getting gifts for parents til I joined LIW. We were wondering whether they're necessary and whether the gifting mostly occurs if your parents are footing the bill for a large part of the wedding? Is there a 'usual' amount that's spent on these gifts? Thanks a bunch!
ETA: I forgot to mention that we're paying for their parent albums from the photographer. Is that an okay 'gift'?
akaMrsT
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
Posted by jenniesunshine
FH and I hadn't heard about getting gifts for parents til I joined LIW. We were wondering whether they're necessary and whether the gifting mostly occurs if your parents are footing the bill for a large part of the wedding? Is there a 'usual' amount that's spent on these gifts? Thanks a bunch!
ETA: I forgot to mention that we're paying for their parent albums from the photographer. Is that an okay 'gift'?
All the gift giving at a wedding is just 'nice' - not necessary unless the receiver is chipping in to pay for it.
I told FI I was going to order some monogrammed money clips for his two brothers as a gift for being attendants and he said 'Why do they get gifts, it's our wedding and they should be giving us gifts?' I had no answer for him other than it's something I heard about from LIW. He's beginning to dislike this site.
He said he never got a gift as a groomsmen (groomsman??) in any wedding - not even his two brothers or his sister's. He is hating the favor idea too and does not think it's necessary. We are not doing parents gifts although we are doing Bridal Party gifts - something small for his brothers and my sister & friends will get canvas tote bags filled with goodies (their day of jewelry, monogrammed compacts, & silver keychains with their names engraved). The ladies are choosing their own dresses so they can pick a style they can use again. I just picked a color. And they can wear basic black shoes - no dyeables unless they want to.
We will give the parents (at least mine and my grandma) small albums (snapfish digital) & probably an 8 x 10 or so to put up in the house with all the hundreds of other family photos.
wc0143
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
My mom's 'gift' was her album and I got my dad an engraved bottle opener that was signed with a nickname he called me growing up.
exotica776
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
Posted by pinkstar025
my mom yelled at me yesterday when i mentioned something about a parent gift. HEr and my dad found it completely outragious that we had to buy them a present for OUR wedding.....i still feel bad cause like you said....everyone on here says to do it..
that is so funny because my mom reacted the same way!! she is like dont u dare waste $ on that!! but ofcourse i will anyway i am spending about 500 for fil's and about 500 for my parents, maybe more.... oh and obviously both are getting parent albums as well.
exotica776
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
Posted by FTRBRIDE
My parents are paying for our wedding, so we go them VERY nice gifts. I noticed a lot of girls who said their parents told them not to do it---why would you even tell your parents about it before hand?? Obviously a parent would say that (even if they don't mean it)... .
i was actually telling my mother what we had planned on getting the fil's (hot air balloon ride) and that is how the convo came up....
AJsMommy122
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
I think if they are paying for the wedding is is MUST
But if you are paying for most or all of your wedding as most of us are I think its something 'nice'
Besides the parent albums and a copy of our wedding DVD for each of them, We just got them a nice 8x10 frame so after the wedding they could pick their favorite picture and we would have it blown up and they could display it in the house. We didn't want to spend alot of $$ b/c we were already paying for the whole wedding ourselves and didn't want them to feel left out at the RD when we gave out the gifts. But they were both SHOCKED and did not expect a thing from us!
SomethingBlu
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
We paid for our wedding ourselves, but they're our parents and they brought us into the world! The least we could do was get them something as a 'thank you' since we were giving our attendants presents at the RD. We gave them 8X10 Mikasa frames. We will also give each set of parents (mine are divorced) a copy of our DVD and make an album from ofoto. Parent gifts are completely not necessary, but we couldn't 'not' thank them - I mean, they're the reason we're alive. JMO.
beautyq115
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
I definetely think that if they are paying or contributing its a MUST too...We gave my mom something after our engagment party to thank her because she paid for the party so I am definetely giving her something significant for helping us pay for the wedding
SFP0214
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
My parent albums cost 500$. We are not getting them anything. we will probably give a framed picture after the wedding but my dad made sure I knew that he wanted to pay for the parent album. we have 3 sets of parents so.. 1500$ for parent albums was a little excessive.!
edsprincess
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
my parents are paying for the hall. and when i had mentioned about them getting a gift they told me i didnt need to spend the extra money. same with fh's parents. so our photography package comes with parent folios.(they didnt want albums, they will collect dust)
suven
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
We paid for our own wedding.
We presented our mom's with diamond pendants at the RD. They both wore them at the wedding.
both were tagged at $1100. We paid $330 for each.
BlondeJD
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
A lot of you mentioned not wanting the parents to feel left out at the RD when you give gifts to the BP. Are you planning to give gifts to grandparents too, then?
SomethingBlu
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
Posted by jenniesunshine
A lot of you mentioned not wanting the parents to feel left out at the RD when you give gifts to the BP. Are you planning to give gifts to grandparents too, then?
Our grandparents didn't attend...but if they had, no we would not have presented them with gifts...we were raised by our parents...not grandparents.
Really though, I think when it comes to everyone's own wedding one should do what feels best for them...provided they're not seriously breaking any ettiquette 'rules'...even though, who cares about that crap?
Backinneyork
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
I don't think my parents expect one. I am also getting them a parent album and since we are paying for the photographer it does qualify as a gift! It would be SO me to give them a present from somthing they paid for!!!
I have a feeling at the end we will totally be scrounching for $$, so I doubt I am going to do anything more than one of those personalized hankies.
Kim51103
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
LOL....my mom and dad told us that we have to take them to a nice fancy manhattan resturant...and PAY THE CHECK!!!!!!
LOl they are silly!!
SeptWed
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
My parents paid for the entire wedding and his parents gave us a large donation to it. We gave them each tickets to a Broadway show and a GC to a restaurant near the show. They loved the idea.
We would not of gotten them anything if we paid for the wedding, but we felt we owed them a thank you for paying so much money to give us such a special day.
VS11
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just 'nice'?
My parents are paying for our wedding and my FIL's have been EXTREMELY generous as well. We are getting our parents a gift as a THANK YOU for all that they have done for us through the years...not just because they are paying for our wedding..
I have AMAZING parents...I couldnt of asked for better...and I am very fortunate to be gaining another set of wonderful parents...
