Parents contrubuting to wedding costs?

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Posted by MLAngelo

My parents paid for the entire wedding, almost every detail. My dad's business is going under and they are also nearing retirement age. But they insisted. They have dreamt their whole life of this. Your parents might feel the same way and could even be feeling sad they couldn't do more. I think you should respect their desire to help you, you are their daughter and its something that probably means a lot to them.

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Same here...my parents though had been saving for this for a while & did have some of it in a CD for a while - but all the extras they didnt expect they still paid b/c they said it was the 'right thing to do.' We we very fortunate.

My parents gave us a lot of $ for the wedding...we just paid for little things here and there b/c weddings are super expensive and I wanted a lot of extras.

To the OP, if your parents are offering to help, allow them....they want to be there for you and I'm sure you will send them on a nice trip or treat them to things once they are retired....you just seem like that kind of person.

They will appreciate it and it will help you out a great day. DH and I paid for every last detail of our wedding and honeymoon....it seriously adds up, I don't know how we managed to pay for it all. Would have been nice to have been offered a few thousand for flowers/limos/veil ect.

if your parents are offering money towards the wedding then you should accept it graciously. since it seems like they are just giving you checks & not taking over payments you should put the money into a new checking account & write the checks as needed.

my parents are paying for the RH & my day of attire.

FMIL is paying for the rehearsal dinner & the flowers.

my brother & SIL are paying for the limos.

everything else is on me & FH. we greatly appreciate whatever everyone is able to contribute.

My mom and my aunt have given us some $ for the wedding which should cover a few vendors. Everything else FH and I are paying on our own. My mom also purchased my dress for me.

I agree with everyone else, i'd accept the offer and leave it at that. If you want to make it up to them give them a kick a$$ gift at the rehersal dinner.

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Posted by latinaj

my parents are paying for the rh...

fh and i are paying for absolutely everything else....

fil's dont have a clue abt the cost of a wedding...fmil thinks the most i should spend on my dress is 500....

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Same deal here!
My grandmother though is payinf for the RH and we are paying for EvERYTHING else! Which totals more than the RH!!

Same as you on the IL's.

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Posted by bellaitalian618

We're paying for our wedding which I don't mind doing because it allows us to make our own decisions without getting too much input from mom's...

That being said though, my mom is paying for my wedding gown, veil, hair piece and for the flowers (because she wants them more than me!). It's at least a good $3,000 is savings for me!

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Exactly the same here. Both of FHs parents have passed, so it's just my parents. My mom has my dress and accessories covered and I'm trying to find something for my dad to do.

FH and I are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. We are paying for the RH, photographer, videographer, 'flowers', and invites. My mom bought my dress, veil, and slip. She is also paying for the dj. I didn't ask her to pay for anything, she just offered, so it was nice. We did not budget or plan for a really expensive wedding because I did not want to have bills for years just for a wedding. Our budget was 16K and so far we are under budget. I am getting everything I want but I am doing a heck of a lot of research to find the best price for what I want. It's all in the budgeting, then you won't have to worry about who is contributing what because in the end, you will be able to pay for everything comfortably and if people offer to pay for stuff, that's awesome. Parents want to be able to pay for stuff like this for their children, unfortunately not all parents can pay for the whole thing themselves. I say, as long as you aren't going crazy because other people have opted to help you out financially, then its fine. They know how to handle budgets and finances. Just take good care of them when they are older and I am sure that is payback enough.

Thank you ladies for all your input. This thread has been really eye opening. When my friend told me her wedding cost $43K a few years ago, my eyes nearly popped out of my head!! $ 43K was the cost of my law school education, I couldn't fathom spending that much $$ for just 1 day of festivities...Now I see where all the $$ really goes!!! Its crazy how weddings on Long Island cost so much more than a wedding anywhere else, like upstate NY, NJ or FL even. Its like vendors automatically tack on an extra 20% to their prices just because they know people will pay that. Also, RH's that cost upwards of 30K is probably a bulk of that!!!

I talked to my parents and they said they really wanted to help out with costs as much as possible and know weddings are a very big deal in general. It really is 1 day that you remember, even though its 1 day that pales in comparison to a marriage that lasts forever. They will be paying a percentage of it but still doesn't mean I feel a little ackward about it - FH and I have mostly used our own $$ to spend for our graduate education, living together and now our wedding. So for this 1 event, FH and I agree that letting them pay for what they wish is their way of helping us out in some way and I am very grateful for that...I just hate how that 20-40K could go toward a nice down-payment of a house instead of a wedding...*sigh*.

FH and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves. FMIL is paying for our HM as a wedding gift to us. My parents havent offered anything to us but
1) they are both are retired and I dont expect them to use their retirement savings on a wedding for me
2) this is my 2nd marriage and they helped pay for my RH and band for the 1st one. Everything else was payed for by my ex and myself. I dont expect them to pay for my 2nd wedding.

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Posted by FutureMrsLMS

Thank you ladies for all your input. This thread has been really eye opening. When my friend told me her wedding cost $43K a few years ago, my eyes nearly popped out of my head!! $ 43K was the cost of my law school education, I couldn't fathom spending that much $$ for just 1 day of festivities...Now I see where all the $$ really goes!!! Its crazy how weddings on Long Island cost so much more than a wedding anywhere else, like upstate NY, NJ or FL even. Its like vendors automatically tack on an extra 20% to their prices just because they know people will pay that. Also, RH's that cost upwards of 30K is probably a bulk of that!!!

I talked to my parents and they said they really wanted to help out with costs as much as possible and know weddings are a very big deal in general. It really is 1 day that you remember, even though its 1 day that pales in comparison to a marriage that lasts forever. They will be paying a percentage of it but still doesn't mean I feel a little ackward about it - FH and I have mostly used our own $$ to spend for our graduate education, living together and now our wedding. So for this 1 event, FH and I agree that letting them pay for what they wish is their way of helping us out in some way and I am very grateful for that...I just hate how that 20-40K could go toward a nice down-payment of a house instead of a wedding...*sigh*.

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I agree. I still feel the effects of it. We have budget so much after the wedding and cut down from what we used to spend to pay back our loans. Weddings can take a toll on your finance if you are not careful. I agree, weddings have gone up so much from what they used to cost . Unfortunately, NY is one of the top expensive cities to live in the U.S. which explains the tax increase and unemployment rates. If I could do it all over, we would had done a destination wedding with our HM all in one. And come back to celebrate with our families and friends and just do a dinner party. That would had saved us so much $$$ w/o owing any loans. My advice is to do a lot of net working and cut your expenses as much as you can. A wedding is def do able for 20K.