Parents that Just don't get along

I hope this is not a silly question...but in the craziness of planning a wedding....what on earth do you do with parents who cannot be in the same room with one another for more than a minute???? Are there any tricks or solutions to this problem. Thanks

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

lots of alcohol????
just kidding.

seriously, my mom and dad cant stand to be around one another, so in terms of planning i make sure to never have them together without some form of support from other people. Like at my e-party, i just made sure that they had some of their friends around with them. and, i'm getting baptised next month in a small private ceremony, but i'm inviting my mom's best friend so she'll have someone to be with while my dad is there with his gf.

Fortunatley, as much as my parents dislike one another, they both love me and have both behaved like adults at each event. I hope your parents do the same.....

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

Honestly... i'd tell them both that if you can't seem to put that aside and to be at least civil (and if not, than to just stay away from one another)... than neither of them have to come to the wedding. I know it sounds harsh, but the months of stress they're going to put you through is not right.

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

My parents were like this right after the divorce and for several years. They really suprised my brother and sister and I when my brother got married. Even exchanged a hug.... They seem to understand that there are some times that they need to be respectful of each other.

After all, they made us together right? These are the moments they dreamed about for us when we were young....

I'm sure they will behave on your wedding day. I would just put them at seperate tables. I am putting my Dad and his wife at one table with the step brothers & families and Mom w/ her Husband w/ FH's family and my siblings.

I hope it all works out for you~

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

Thanks You - - -My FH told me to be stern and put my foot down. So I'll definitely take your advice!!! Thanks

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

I would put your foot down and agree you may be surprised..I was with mine!!

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

I would do a few things. First, seat them as far away from one another as possible, while still being respectfully of their respective roles in your life. (as in, don't put one at the front of the room and the other at the back - just put them on opposite sides)

The other thing I would do is sit down with both of them and have a conversation. Remind them that although divorced there was a point in time where they were very much in love to the point that together they created you, and that the day demands respect not bitterness and fighting.

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

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Posted by Sunflower08

I hope this is not a silly question...but in the craziness of planning a wedding....what on earth do you do with parents who cannot be in the same room with one another for more than a minute???? Are there any tricks or solutions to this problem. Thanks

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TALK to them both, seperatly. I am in the process of this now. My dad has informed me that he, my step mom and step brother are not attending th e rehearsal dinner, b/c supposedly my step-mom doesn't want to be around my mom...honestly I think it's my dad, but whatever. My dad has been pulling stupid stunts like this since the engagement party last April. I suggest talking to them. Express your concerns and aske them to be civil on your day, if for nothing else, for you. Also, when doing seating arrangements, make certain they are NOT near each other. I know that goes without saying, but FH and I have contemplating having my dad on one side of the room and my mom on the other! We'll see.

Good luck. Just express how much you hope they can be civil, for just 1 day.

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

Thank you so much everyone.....I am taking all the advice you all gave me and definitely using it. I know there next few months (planning the wedding) will be trying, but I need to be strong and not let my parents get in the way of my happiness. This site is amazing....it really is like therapy ha ha

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

I would think most exes can bury the hatchet long enough to get through their child's wedding. I mean they're not in grade school anymore. As long as they each have a friend or two there and they're seated on opposite sides of the room, I would think they could handle it.

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

Honestly, I think most adults are not so selfish that they can't put you first for your wedding day. Everyone else has given great advice like talking to them first, seating them apart, etc. I think it will work out.

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

Just remind them that it is not about them! This day is all about you, so they'd better grin and bear each other!!!

Re: Parents that Just don't get along

I am in the same boat also. My parents are both remarried and my step-monster doesn't care to much for my mom, my dad ask like an @$$ toward my mom when his wife is around. I know my mom wouldn't start anything, Its my dad whom I am worried about making a comotion. I will have to warn him and his witch of a wife to not get on my bad side on FH and I wedding day.

Its not easy trying to tell someone that they had their day not once but twice. He is giving me crap again about not leaving and taking pictures at our house He said every bride leaves and takes pictures from their house. I told him no and he says yes. Thank god my mom understands.

Good luck (sorry, I had to vent)