Deleted b/c you never know who's lurking. Thanks for all of the support!
nov04LIbride
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
I would actually suggest doing less for FH...I have found with many men when you try to do everything for them, they begin to think of you in a motherly way--and treat you like it (no thank so much baby!, just like it is expected and you are nothing more than a housekeeper). The roles you set now may dictate your roles in married life, so be careful in terms of taking over all of the cleaning, etc., even if you feel bad for him now with work. That said, if he is really stressed at work he probably is just thinking his life is harder than yours at this point in time, and maybe resenting you--especially if a great deal of the financial burden for the new place and stuff is falling on him. I would do less for him, and make him realize how much he really appreciates all the effort you have gone to.
ETA: Go on the pill!!!!!! There is nothing better than knowing EXACTLY when AF will come every month...And knowing that it will!
swags1016
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Mary- you can't remember the date of your last period??? If you do not have it by Sunday I would definitely test, better to know a little then nothing at all- i know you don't believe in the tests 100% but better to have a little reassurance no? Also if by Monday you AF isn't here call the dr and ask them to do the test.
He might be as freaked as you and handling it in a different way then you might expect.
As for all the things you do for him- take it from me STOP NOW! There are certain things that DH claims that he can't do now- well he'll say I am better at it so I should do it and you know what-- what a bunch of horse hockey! Some men (my DH is one of them) become very dependent on their women even though they like to think they are the boss.
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Yeah, I think I finally have to make the leap with the whole pill thing. I usuall know when AF is coming. my cycle is like clockwork. I'm just dump and forgot and didn't write it down. i hope it is coming, I think it is, but it's time to reevaluate. the only thing is, I sort of need an excuse. I know this sounds insane. I live with my parents. they find out everything. My parents are very religious and would disown me and tell me all about how I was going to hell if they knew i was having sex. I don't know if I could hide being on the pill from them. Especially my mom takes me to a lot of doctors for my back, etc, and she'd see me write it on a form or tell the doc. I can't lie and say my period is irregular..so..I don't know. I really feel trapped.
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
swags. I think it;s going to be thursday for AF. So I'm gonna take a test monday. I think that's the earliest. If I don;t have it by friday I'll take another test, and if I don;t have it by next I guess sunday i'll go to the doc. the chance is so slim, but still.
I already see FH doing those things. I have to fold his clothes b/c he's not good at it. I tell him no one's born good at it you have to try and practice...but still. I'm really infuriated with him right now. I'm ready to call off this whole wedding and tell him to fend for himself and leave me the hell alone. but let's hope that's the pms talking.
palebride
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
tell your mother want to go on the pill so that you won't have your period for your wedding......that way, you have the power to regulate when you get it i'm sure she'll understand why you don't want to have your period for your wedding
no one has to know it's for sex....
nov04LIbride
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Posted by marymoon
Yeah, I think I finally have to make the leap with the whole pill thing. I usuall know when AF is coming. my cycle is like clockwork. I'm just dump and forgot and didn't write it down. i hope it is coming, I think it is, but it's time to reevaluate. the only thing is, I sort of need an excuse. I know this sounds insane. I live with my parents. they find out everything. My parents are very religious and would disown me and tell me all about how I was going to hell if they knew i was having sex. I don't know if I could hide being on the pill from them. Especially my mom takes me to a lot of doctors for my back, etc, and she'd see me write it on a form or tell the doc. I can't lie and say my period is irregular..so..I don't know. I really feel trapped.
There are LOTS of reasons why drs. prescribe the pill. I went on it originally for irregular, heavy bleeding...It also helps with cramping, and mine also helped my skin! They won't tell your parents the reason you are on it...That will be up to you if you choose to tell them...
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
I figured I could use the excuse that it really worsens my back pain, etc. I still don't think my mom would go for it. I still don't hear the end of using tampons.
Can you believe I actually have to live this way?
nov04LIbride
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Posted by marymoon
I figured I could use the excuse that it really worsens my back pain, etc. I still don't think my mom would go for it. I still don't hear the end of using tampons.
Can you believe I actually have to live this way?
Umm yeah my mom still thinks I am a virgin (I am now 26, and I had a very serious BF for 4 years before FH). And we are both just fine with her living in denial--I sure wouldn't rather be discussing it with her!
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
OMG! I'm glad I'm not the only one. It just feels so ridiculous sometimes.
DjPiLL
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Why do you need your mom to get the pill? Just go and get it yourself. If its cause you are on her med plan... just get them yourself and just have your doc perscribe a generic.
Your mom has absolutely no right to say whether you can be on the pill or not... especially at your age.
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
You're right. but I live with my mom, and she's quite overbearing, and as I siad religious.
My sister was 29 and engaged and you should hear how my mom talked to her for staying overnight with her fiance. *sigh*
MrsK-in-June05
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
i have been there before...i made my best friend hold my hand while i peed on the stick. i think she has been in therapy ever since! they have a new test out that i believe is said to be 97% accurate. it is ept early pregnancy test. go to a pharmacy a town over and get it. that way at least you will know. i always believe knowing is better no matter what the result. as for fh being testy...that's a man for you. first of all, if you don't feel up to doing laundry send it out. the people pick it up and drop it off at the door. it's not that expensive..it is $40 a week for two people's clothes. it sounds lazy but when there are not enough hours in the day...just do it. what is $20 a manicure and pedicure? i will come over and do your nails. second, my fh makes a crapload more than me but i still contribute to the family unit. he likes to guilt me but you can't guilt the queen of guilt. tell your fh why you are home and that you are not home to do his shtuff. tell him a relationship is a two-way street and sometimes you need help too. don't whine to him..i tried doesn't work. just come out and say it. stick up for yourself! i am not telling you to go on an Oprah or Jerry rage but tell him how you feel. especially if you two are going to spend the rest of your life together! i hope this helps..i am not a licensed therapist but i am marrying a 40 year old who acts like a 12 year old sometimes.
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
it amkes a lot of sense. BTE, they're not een MY clthes, they're his. I'm not worried about sending them out or not. I was just doing hima favor. i should let him suffer and wait until he ahs no undies and is doing his laundry naked ( you know that's what it would come to)
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
I figured it out. AF will def be this thursday..I Hope So monday I can POAS.
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Posted by marymoon
I figured it out. AF will def be this thursday..I Hope So monday I can POAS.
Does anyone know how long o-time lasts and if it's safer to be a few days ahead of o-time or few days after?
marymoon
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
He still hasn't called. I wonder if he'll elt the weekdn go by (the onlytime we have together) without calling me or stopping by or talking about this. I can't believe he's letting me go through this alone. Then again, he dones't really see it as anything to go through, apparently..it's no big deal. Where is the FH who would always comfort me and be by my side? I don't think I'm brave enough to POAS without him. I'm not brave enough to go through all of this fear without him.
Thanks for the support.
February05
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Posted by MrsKinMay05
i hope this helps..i am not a licensed therapist but i am marrying a 40 year old who acts like a 12 year old sometimes.
they're all 12 year olds running around in older bodies. dont be decieved by the age they tell you!!!!
AFB10304
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Posted by palebride
tell your mother want to go on the pill so that you won't have your period for your wedding......that way, you have the power to regulate when you get it i'm sure she'll understand why you don't want to have your period for your wedding
no one has to know it's for sex....
you could also say it's for really bad cramps or skin issues (if you break out at all)
MrsTC
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
Posted by marymoon
OMG! I'm glad I'm not the only one. It just feels so ridiculous sometimes.
i know exactly how you feel! i had to hide my being on the pill from my mom for a long time...and i accidentally let it slip one day - she was so annoyed. And truthfully, I think if I have a daughter, I want us to be able to talk about anything and i would rather my daughter be on the pill than have a teenage or unwanted pregnancy.
As for your FH, i agree with the other girls, you have to stop doing so much for him, trust me he will learn!
I hope you feel better soon!
Maribelle7777
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Re: Personal/long :Need Hugs
I know how it feels when you ask for help and don't get it - it took over a year for DH to realize that emotional support is very important sometimes!
