this is very frustrating. I honestly never thought finding a church would be this hard. I also never expected churches to deny you the right to get married in their church. I am trying to stay calm but the more I think about it, the more it irritates me. When I was on the phone with one of the churches, the woman couldnt understand why I wanted to get married there. When I told her that my church was too small (which is true!!!) She still didnt understand why and continued to ask me questions. When I told her my date she actually said...well Im not sure about that. She said that the church was very far from where I live. Thats true but I have family coming from the city, new jersey everywhere! Why does it matter what church I want to get married at?
Sorry for the long vent...I think Im more disappointed with the churches demeanor (sp) than anything else.
would you be willing to become a member at a church that is near your RH. So when you go to a church and ask for a date and see if you can get married there, also say to them that you are interested in becoming a member. I know somebody who did this to get married at a particular church. She became a member so she can get married there.
I tried this with a few.... with my whole drama. Mine was true though. I really will need a new parish when I move in with FH b/c we are soo far away. Most of them said.... we hear this all the time and no one ever fulfills their promise. So they said no and after I get married and move then I should call back.
nice.... real nice!
alli3131
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
I think you need to give them as little info as possible up front. SOmetimes the women answering the phones can be kinda nasty but once you actually talk to a priest or deacon then they are so much nicer. This happened to me. THe deacon said they would never deny anyone. you can try the church im getting married in (im not a member) its about 20mins from Larkfield Manor and beautiful. St Pats in Bayshore.
RedsBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
2010 bride crashing! I'm getting married at St. Joseph's in Kings Park. It's not far at all (maybe 10 min drive) to Larkfield Manor in East Northport. I'm not sure of their policy but it's worth a shot to contact them.
Dani777
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
I know exactly how you feel!! I wish I had known to book the church FIRST then the RH! OY!. Well, my situation is a bit more difficutl...since April 4th is the begining of LENT! OY! So, the church taht I was interrested in is finding out if they can make an exception. I am STILL holding my breath...said it can take up to TWO WEEKS! I just wish he would call me back and say YES, we CAN marry you!!!!!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. I'm sure you'll find something... just like I will for LENT! lol. Hang in there! You have plenty of time... lol It'll be OK!
JennyAPH
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Booking the church was the worst part for me. I am getting married at our parish but they didn't even ask if we were a 'member' or not... My church is about 45 min away from the RH but i have plenty of time in between to take pics and stuff so our guests will have to get over it.
Have you asked some of these churches what it takes to become a member? Alot of people move or switch churches all the time, there has to be something you can do!! I have two cousins that got married in random churches (not their parish) because they wanted to be closer to the RH.
Dont give up you will find something! When you call churches dont tell them you want something close to the RH, just tell them that getting married in a Catholic Church is very important to you and your local parish could not accomodate your day or tell them it is really far and you are looking for another church to become a member of.
sorry this is so long!
Autumnbride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Can you become a member? Usually it's just a matter of attending a few masses and registering. When you go to Mass be sure to say hello to the priest!
I had a similar issue, I had my heart set on a church in Mattituck (not mine , I'm not Catholic but FH is). Well we fell in love with it, we were even going to become members and start going there- but hey guess what?? YOU NEED TO BE A RESIDENT IN MATTITUCK TO GET MARRIED THERE!!! My parents live in the next town over, 10 minutes away. We were soooo upset about that. My mom's friend who LIVES in Mattituck , went to that church for 15 years and her daughter wanted to have her son baptized there. Because the daughter didn't live in Mattituck they wouldn't let her, even though she went to that church her whole life!! I'm sorry, but some of these rules are absolutely ridiculous!
ANYWAY, we have a happy ending, we found a beautiful church with no silly rules, you don't even have to be a member, and it is closer to our hotels and RH. The area isn't as nice, it is in Riverhead but the church itself is just as beautiful if not more so. And we love our priest. So you will find something, it will work out!
Have you considered having it at a different denomination church? Episcopalians (which I am), Lutherans and Presybyterians are all pretty much the same as the Catholic religion (the major difference is they don't believe in the Pope), and are more lax about rules like this.
Vinsfuturewife
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Not sure if Larkfield Manor is near West Babylon, but we are getting married at Our Lady of Grace and we are not part of their paris.
misci918
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
I had a similar situation as you and all I can say is keep trying! After my own church turned me down I had to contact four more before finding a welcoming deacon. Because we were so put off by the haughty answer from our own church we are switching parishes.
Autumnbride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Posted by misci918
I had a similar situation as you and all I can say is keep trying! After my own church turned me down I had to contact four more before finding a welcoming deacon. Because we were so put off by the haughty answer from our own church we are switching parishes.
wow, that one takes the cake... I thought a church turning down a practicing Catholic period, was bad. Why wouldn't they let you??
Vinsfuturewife
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Posted by Autumnbride03
Posted by misci918
I had a similar situation as you and all I can say is keep trying! After my own church turned me down I had to contact four more before finding a welcoming deacon. Because we were so put off by the haughty answer from our own church we are switching parishes.
wow, that one takes the cake... I thought a church turning down a practicing Catholic was bad. Why wouldn't they let you??
My church did the same thing, thats why I had to find another church
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Posted by BarbieGrl10
Posted by Espo22
Posted by WishfulRinne
this is very frustrating. I honestly never thought finding a church would be this hard. I also never expected churches to deny you the right to get married in their church. I am trying to stay calm but the more I think about it, the more it irritates me. When I was on the phone with one of the churches, the woman couldnt understand why I wanted to get married there. When I told her that my church was too small (which is true!!!) She still didnt understand why and continued to ask me questions. When I told her my date she actually said...well Im not sure about that. She said that the church was very far from where I live. Thats true but I have family coming from the city, new jersey everywhere! Why does it matter what church I want to get married at?
Sorry for the long vent...I think Im more disappointed with the churches demeanor (sp) than anything else.
would you be willing to become a member at a church that is near your RH. So when you go to a church and ask for a date and see if you can get married there, also say to them that you are interested in becoming a member. I know somebody who did this to get married at a particular church. She became a member so she can get married there.
I tried this with a few.... with my whole drama. Mine was true though. I really will need a new parish when I move in with FH b/c we are soo far away. Most of them said.... we hear this all the time and no one ever fulfills their promise. So they said no and after I get married and move then I should call back.
nice.... real nice!
yeah i guess they're probably used to it. My friend had to go EVERY sunday so yeah they dont expect you to just say you'll go but want to actually see it. So she did have to commit to it and really follow through
FutureMaynard
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Posted by Jess and Jon
Did you try St-Philips???
I am getting married at there!!! I am a Larkfield bride also!!! It is in Northport and it is amazing!!!!!!
WishfulRinne
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
I have called St. Philips and Our Lady Queen Martyis. I spoke to the receptionist and are waiting for a call back. All that hassle this morning with the churches really set me day off. I was in a bad mood all day long! Im going to call again tomorrow with a brighter outlook and hope that I get some really nice people on the phone. I will let you all know how it goes...
Jess and Jon
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Posted by FutureMaynard
Posted by Jess and Jon
Did you try St-Philips???
I am getting married at there!!! I am a Larkfield bride also!!! It is in Northport and it is amazing!!!!!!
Me too! Its my childhood church, I used to work in rectory in high school!
CMBove
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
why don't you find a church you like, register and then try to have the wedding there?
jennaandguy09
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Posted by BarbieGrl10
Posted by Espo22
Posted by WishfulRinne
this is very frustrating. I honestly never thought finding a church would be this hard. I also never expected churches to deny you the right to get married in their church. I am trying to stay calm but the more I think about it, the more it irritates me. When I was on the phone with one of the churches, the woman couldnt understand why I wanted to get married there. When I told her that my church was too small (which is true!!!) She still didnt understand why and continued to ask me questions. When I told her my date she actually said...well Im not sure about that. She said that the church was very far from where I live. Thats true but I have family coming from the city, new jersey everywhere! Why does it matter what church I want to get married at?
Sorry for the long vent...I think Im more disappointed with the churches demeanor (sp) than anything else.
would you be willing to become a member at a church that is near your RH. So when you go to a church and ask for a date and see if you can get married there, also say to them that you are interested in becoming a member. I know somebody who did this to get married at a particular church. She became a member so she can get married there.
I tried this with a few.... with my whole drama. Mine was true though. I really will need a new parish when I move in with FH b/c we are soo far away. Most of them said.... we hear this all the time and no one ever fulfills their promise. So they said no and after I get married and move then I should call back.
nice.... real nice!
I am in shock, unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you just LOVE the church!!
Kris2782
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
I know you dont wont to get married in your own church but if worse to come worse you should try to do it.... my church is 45 mins- 1 hour away from Larkfiled.... my guests will have to deal with it... they have 3 hours in between the ceremony an CH to get there.... Where are you located? Queens? Nassau? MY church will take people outside the parish I beleive for weddings... let me know if you are interested.... my church is in Floral Park
WishfulRinne
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
I wouldnt mind getting married in my own church which is about an hour away but I am getting married in the morning. My reception starts at 12:30. if it is an hour away then I will have to have the ceremony at 9 or 9:30. That will leave less time for pictures, getting ready...more stress for me....I was trying to avoid that
mrsjpc3
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
try St Josephs in Babylon. We are not members there, and they were very accommodating.. Father Heller.....
call there....
http://www.stjosephsbabylon.org/
ChrissyV729
Posted:
Member since
Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! Church issue!!!
Posted by WishfulRinne
I called St Philips and are waiting for their call back. I feel horrible. When I told one of the churches that I needed a church near my RH, they were not happy. So I didnt want to tell St. Philips that and now I feel like a lier. Oh I feel horrible!!!
I was told not to tell the church that you already booked a RH because they feel the church should be your first priority.
