FH have been discussing a few things about our wedding, and one thing we disagree on is the rehearsal dinner....so without background or who's sides here's the dilemma
are OOT guests supposed to be invited to the RD, even if they are not in the wedding party?
ama1771
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
if you were only having a few oot i would say yes invite them, but since 80% of our guests are from oot, we simply cannot afford it
beautyq115
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
Yes I believe they are
qtdimps23
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
i'm not inviting them if they are not immediate family or part of the bridal party. since we're paying for it ourselves, we can't afford extra people. most of the OOT guests that are not in the BP know other people coming in, so they won't be alone.
nifheim
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
If you can't afford to have them at the rehersal dinner (which is proper et. to invite them) one set of parents fh's should have a informal gathering like a dinner at the house or bbq this is what fh and i are doing ( his sister is hosting a bbq/dinner the day before).
Remember not everyone shows up a day before a wedding some guests arrive the day of so you really need to take account on who will be actually around.
brittny817
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
The only OOT guests we are inviting are those in the BP. Most of our OOT guests (which aren't that many) will be arriving the day before (Friday) the wedding and our RD is on Thursday night.
chellynyc
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
It is proper etiquette to invite them, we're having about 30 extra ppl. at our RD that are all relatives that will have traveled from England and Ireland. We feel if they traveled all this way it's the least we can do.
mkc56
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
I think it is considered proper etiquette to do so, but if there are a ton of OOT guests, then just forget about it. But you should decide to go one way or the other. Once you invte even one OOT guest (not in the ceremony), they should all be included.
Espo22
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
Well I went two months ago to a wedding in florida, and we were there for the whole weekend, and they invited us to the RD...Its up to you and if you are able to do so, it is a nice thing to do since they are there for the whole weekend, and gives them something to do too.
thelastresort
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
I think you are supposed to, but if you are having like mor than 50 OOT guests that is a little ridiculous and I would not invite all of them.
Chrissywish
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
ok the situation stands like this
We have between 15-21 ott guests coming.
They are all family
and i have been invited to RD's for each of their families. I feel that as an OOT guest they all invited us, and I cannot not do the same. Now I do not know if we will be inviting all of my cousins or just my aunt's and uncle's that will be decided as it gets closer and we see who is even going to be around and how many people
Chrissywish
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
my fh says its to expensive to invite between 60-70 people (which it won't be that many because I agree with this)
He then thinks all of his 9 aunt uncle should be invited as well on his dad side and all of my aunts and uncles on my fathers side. The OOT guests are primarily my Mom's relatives, so since all my mom's family who are out of town will be invited.
Basically we are trying to decide where to draw the line, and we disagree.
NY031978
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
Posted by PegaLega
If I remember correctly it is etiquette to invite them. We arent b/c then it would be like having another wedding. I think it depends on HOW many people you are looking at extra
HTH
ETA:I didnt vote b/c it can go either way
i agree!! If i invited EVERY OOT guest it would of been another mini wedding! So we deicded not to extend the invites!
AMGBride2008
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
I said 'Other'. Normally I would've answered 'Yes', but half of our guest list is OOTers, so we'll probably be picking and choosing who's invited.
aimes1313
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Re: Please help FH and I decide....w/Poll
If you want to have a formal RD you can always do it a few days or even a week before the wedding and only include the bridal party. Then that weekend you can do something casual and cheap for your OOT guests.
All of FH's family are coming from OOT and we're inviting them, but it's going to be simple. Either pizza at my mom's or a BBQ at the beach, depending on weather.
