FH is really really really mad at me. I feel terrible. I try to look out for him at times, but I now see how my 'looking out' has been putting him down (about weight). I'm a naturally skinny person and eat what I want, but not a lot of it. It's just how I work. You'd think I'd understand how he eats almost 3 years after being together, but I always make stupid comments and try to control some things. Well last night he blew up on me (which he had every right to) and now he wants nothing to do with me. How do I get out of this horrendous mess???????
I'm panicking here........I'm such an idiot........
SparkyandAng
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
Give him a chance to calm down and then explain that you just love him and want the best for him.
Thanks for posting this, b/c you made me realize that I do the same thing .
Good luck...everything will be okay.
jeanyus27
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
Awww, maybe just wait until he cools down and then try to approach him. Maybe even get a card that says 'I'm sorry' and you can write in their that you forget that sometimes when you think your helping him you don't realize that its hurting his feelings. You just love him so much and want him to be healthy so that the two of you can be together for a long time. I'm sure he'll eventually get over it, but definitely apologize.
angl2001
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
I agree give him some time to calm down and try to talk to him....let him know you didnt meant to upset him that you are just trying to help and keep him healthy!
SoonToBeMrsScott
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
just let him cool off and then speak to him about it then
chrissybean77
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
Posted by jeanyus27
Awww, maybe just wait until he cools down and then try to approach him. Maybe even get a card that says 'I'm sorry' and you can write in their that you forget that sometimes when you think your helping him you don't realize that its hurting his feelings. You just love him so much and want him to be healthy so that the two of you can be together for a long time. I'm sure he'll eventually get over it, but definitely apologize.
I agree. I like the idea of giving him a card. Definitely give him some time to cool down and then explain. I'm sure everything will work out.
Coach416
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
Okay now I'm freaking.............he's walked out CRYING saying that I do it all the time....... don't I wonder why he sleeps on the couch so much..... he's got so much going through his head head.......... he's so unhappy right now......
HOLY CRAP
I can't calm down
I know I can get selfish at times..... I've done it with my family throughout the years......... I've been being completely selfish....... I act like I always have to have my way and always be right.........ughhhhhh
NapaValleyGirl
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
Let him cool off. He's upset. Believe me, we've all been there before. It may take some time but remind him that you love him, he loves you and that this fight cannot define what you have together...
hugs.... I know how it feels.....
But I promise, it will get better.
jeanyus27
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
Posted by Coach416
Okay now I'm freaking.............he's walked out CRYING saying that I do it all the time.......don't I wonder why he sleeps on the couch so much.....he's got so much going through his head head..........he's so unhappy right now......
HOLY CRAP
I can't calm down
It sounds like its more than just your comment thats bothering him. Does he have a lot going on with family or work? It just sounds like he let a lot of stuff build up and now he's just breaking down. This will take some time, just hang in there
MikeandJess
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
I agree with the other girls, give him a little bit of time to cool down and then do something really special for him and apologize profusely. Maybe bake him something fattening, lol! Sometimes I get on FH's nerves too when I tell him he's had enough or something like that, it's only because we care about them but they don't need a mother, they need a wife. It's hard
MikeandJess
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
Posted by Coach416
Okay now I'm freaking.............he's walked out CRYING saying that I do it all the time....... don't I wonder why he sleeps on the couch so much..... he's got so much going through his head head.......... he's so unhappy right now......
HOLY CRAP
I can't calm down
I know I can get selfish at times..... I've done it with my family throughout the years......... I've been being completely selfish....... I act like I always have to have my way and always be right.........ughhhhhh
did you know that you were hurting him in the past when you've said things? Maybe it just took something like this to make you aware of what you were doing, now that you know you can think about what you're going to say before you say it. I'm sorry you're both going through this
mao0426
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
The same thing happened with me and DH...I know that I do it all the time to him even in front og people, and thats terrible of me...but thats because he eats terribly and he used to be severly over weight and suffered from asthma...a few weekends ago we had it out! I felt terrible and he was so upset...I had to let him cool down before he would even listen to me...I just told him that I worry about him and its not that I dont love him the way he is...its just that I worry about his health and I dont want him to suffer from the things that people in mine and his family have gone through such as diabetes and heart disease...it is a terrible way to love feeling bad about the way you look and I know thats how DH feels everyday...make sure you let FH know that its NOT the way he looks thats making you upset its the way he is taking care of his body and that you want him to live a very long time with you...If he is anything like my DH its that he is worried that you are making these comments because you arent attracted to him, or that you might not be soon
KK Holiday
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
you have to give him a little time to calm down. let him call you. and explain that it isnt his looks, it is his HEALTH that worries you. tell him you will tone it down and then DO IT. you have to follow up with actions towards a more positive attitude about his eating.
if you 2 live together it would be easier to stock the house with healthy things. fruits veggies etc. plan for healthy meals this way if he reaches for 2nds or 3rds it doesnt cause an issue because it is a healthy meal. good luck!
missK
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
This just happened to me and I thought we were done- no marriage . Listen you have to calm down first. Give him some time to cool off even if that means for a day you dont speak to each other. You have to apologize and talk about whats going on if there is anything else besides what you said. It will work out. Hes upset your upset you have a wedding planned and family that is probably involved. Its a stressful time for everyone. Good Luck
040508Bride
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
Posted by Coach416
FH is really really really mad at me. I feel terrible. I try to look out for him at times, but I now see how my 'looking out' has been putting him down (about weight). I'm a naturally skinny person and eat what I want, but not a lot of it. It's just how I work. You'd think I'd understand how he eats almost 3 years after being together, but I always make stupid comments and try to control some things. Well last night he blew up on me (which he had every right to) and now he wants nothing to do with me. How do I get out of this horrendous mess???????
I'm panicking here........I'm such an idiot........
I wouldn't even approach him with the whole 'i was only looking out for you' way because it gives an excuse for what you said which doesn't always help (even though it's the truth)...i would just say something like 'I was out of line......I am really sorry.......' or something like that.
Christys0925
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
He will calm down just give hime time.
BUT, I will say I am very overweight and if DH EVER said anything like that I would have been devastated. Most people who are overweight are already insecure about themselves. Last time my mom said something to me I lost it and said 'you don't think I have a mirror and see it everyday?'
Trust me I know you have the best intentions and you are doing it because you love him. but this is a VERY touchy subject for someone who is not or has never been skinny. Telling someone over and over just makes you feel worse and worse about yourself, it never helped me.
Sorry if I sound harsh, just wanted to share from personal experience.
bluekat16
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
I agree with the other girls. Let him calm down first. Sounds like he has a lot going on inside of him and maybe this is what broke the camels back per say. He needed o get everything out and after he cools down you guys will be able to go on from there. The ability for dialogue is open now that he has said everything he's feeling...just be patient and try to spporach it calmly once he calms down.
Good luck
laura33
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
He will calm down....but if you know this bothers him really try NOT to say anything about how he eats to him,,,,weight is one of the hardest issues anyone has to deal with it is a very touchy subject...try to avoid comments that will cause problems at least until the wedding is over
everything will be okay just try to think positive
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
I would give him some time to cool down first and then talk to him..start with an apology! good luck!
FtrMrsV
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Re: PLEASE HELP!!! I'm really in the dog house.....
I definitely agree with the other girls. Let him cool down for a bit and then talk to him. Try explaining to him why your concerned and maybe he will see your p.o.v.
