Please Help (Re: no +1)

OK, so we're the first of our friends to be getting married and about 1/2 of our friends are single (not seeing anyone at all). if we invited every single person +1 it would add about 70 people to our guest list, plus im not crazy about the idea of someone bringing someone random. one of my friends always used to freak out in college about finding a date for sorority events, and im afraid people would just bring random people for the sake of bringing someone. Anyway...

I hit the first snag where someone seemed upset about not being +1... one of my friends from home (who knows my family very well, knows a lot of other people there, etc) was complaining about how she will be 'the only single person there' and 'have nobody to dance with.' quite a few of our mutual friends are attending single (without a problem), my sis is single, FH's 2 brothers are single, and so are many of our friends. there should probably be 10-25 single people her age there.

regardless of whether you agree with me not inviting everyone +1, how should i handle this if people seem upset about it?

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Posted by bluegreen08

she already RSVP'd yes, but i think she's trying to talk me into letting her bring a date? not sure who she would even bring!

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While I totally agree about the adding the +1 adds way too many folks...if someone seems upset by it, maybe you just explain that you are close to the max for the room but if she really felt she wanted to bring someone, she has to let you know and their name ahead of time so you can add the name to the placecard. At least you know it wouldn't be a last minute decision like I've seen some people do.

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Posted by SparkyandAng

While I totally agree about the adding the +1 adds way too many folks...if someone seems upset by it, maybe you just explain that you are close to the max for the room but if she really felt she wanted to bring someone, she has to let you know and their name ahead of time so you can add the name to the placecard. At least you know it wouldn't be a last minute decision like I've seen some people do.

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That is a great idea!!

my parents are paying and are also adament about not adding +1 for everyone because it adds up.

of our RSVPs so far, there are at least 10 singles her age coming. depending on whether my school friends come, and how many, it could be as many as another 20 singles

i just dont want this to turn into a huge thing

I invited everyone with guest - and not one single person is bringing a date - everyone responded just 1

Sometimes i think people are just offended they arent given the choice

But all my single people are hoping to meet someone at the wedding - so it could be a big hookup night

Its their problem- not yours. Sounds like you will have a lot of singles around the same age- sounds like a good place to meet someone new!!!

FYI my mom and dad met at a wedding. They were both single and went alone. Weddings are a great place to meet people!!

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Posted by Cindyrella

I invited everyone with guest - and not one single person is bringing a date - everyone responded just 1

Sometimes i think people are just offended they arent given the choice

But all my single people are hoping to meet someone at the wedding - so it could be a big hookup night

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My single friends are hoping for the same thing! Too funny!

I would just explain to her that she will not be the only single person there, there will be all of your other friends w/o a date as well.

I never understood the whole 'bring a +1' if your not in a relationship. whenever I was invited to an event with a +1 and not dating someone I was more than happy to go alone. Who wants to tend to someone all night that doesnt no anybody else???

our general rule of thumb is if the person is in a serious relationship then they are invited with a guest - if not then just that person is invited. I know someone who met her husband at a wedding..they were both the singles

I think I have the same friend invited to my wedding. Except I invited her with a guest...she doesnt have anyone to bring yet she still rsvped with a date and said she is finding someone! This has angered me forever and I finally said DO NOT SCREW ME OVER and come solo because you cant find anyone. Now she changed her response to just 1. Phew!

But I heard the same complaints about how she didnt want to go alone and blah blah...meanwhile a few of our friends are going alone and plenty of single men!!!!

I would try to laugh it off and just say 'OMG...there are going to be so many single guys at the wedding....'

Eta:
We invited single people and guest and most of them are not bringing a guest. I have one friend who RSVPed and guest...so I asked her who are you bringing because I know she doesn't have a boyfriend. ( I was hoping she would bring one of mutual friends who I didn't invite b/c as you can see my guest list is a little outrageous (425).
So she told me she still hasn't decided...so unfortunately...there will be some random guy there that FH & I have never met before. To make matters worse...she doen't have a good track record with the guys she sees.

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Posted by Mimacat

Leave a pacifier on her place setting and tell her to suck on it all night long.

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omggggg

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Posted by Mimacat

Leave a pacifier on her place setting and tell her to suck on it all night long.

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That was good...

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Posted by bluegreen08

OK, so we're the first of our friends to be getting married and about 1/2 of our friends are single (not seeing anyone at all). if we invited every single person +1 it would add about 70 people to our guest list, plus im not crazy about the idea of someone bringing someone random. one of my friends always used to freak out in college about finding a date for sorority events, and im afraid people would just bring random people for the sake of bringing someone. Anyway...

I hit the first snag where someone seemed upset about not being +1... one of my friends from home (who knows my family very well, knows a lot of other people there, etc) was complaining about how she will be 'the only single person there' and 'have nobody to dance with.' quite a few of our mutual friends are attending single (without a problem), my sis is single, FH's 2 brothers are single, and so are many of our friends. there should probably be 10-25 single people her age there.

regardless of whether you agree with me not inviting everyone +1, how should i handle this if people seem upset about it?

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tell them to get over it. I completely agree with not inviting some friends with a +1 cause they'd bring some random. we have a lot of single friends, mostly guys, and I'm not inviting a good portion of them with a guest, cause they'd probably end up bringing some random that they met the weekend before.
Your friend will know people there, so I'd just say that to her. Sorry, I can't add anymore people, but there will be tons of singles and friends there. and thats that.
I get so upset when people say things like that to brides, cause its one of those comments that people should keep to themselves. Unless they are going to take our their checkbooks and write a check to pay for something for the wedding, then they need to keep it shut.