OK, so we're the first of our friends to be getting married and about 1/2 of our friends are single (not seeing anyone at all). if we invited every single person +1 it would add about 70 people to our guest list, plus im not crazy about the idea of someone bringing someone random. one of my friends always used to freak out in college about finding a date for sorority events, and im afraid people would just bring random people for the sake of bringing someone. Anyway...
I hit the first snag where someone seemed upset about not being +1... one of my friends from home (who knows my family very well, knows a lot of other people there, etc) was complaining about how she will be 'the only single person there' and 'have nobody to dance with.' quite a few of our mutual friends are attending single (without a problem), my sis is single, FH's 2 brothers are single, and so are many of our friends. there should probably be 10-25 single people her age there.
regardless of whether you agree with me not inviting everyone +1, how should i handle this if people seem upset about it?
Jenn04
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
PS - I think people lose sight of the importance of the day. They are there to support you and your FH and celebrate your marriage. Instead they are too busy worry about why they have to go alone or they can dig up to bring.
I was invited to two weddings without a date...oh well...I understood why...and so I went alone and I still had a blast!!!
agraydc
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
stick to what you decided and tell people that unfortunately you cant afford to invite all the singles (emphasis on singles) with guest, the important thing is to keep consistent, if you let her bring a guest other singles maybe affended
BNBride60
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
I disagree with that mentality on +1, BUT that being said - if you are staunchly against it, then you must stand your ground and say NO. Because if you do it for her and others catch wind of it, you're going to end up having to do it for all. So just simply say no.
Mici n KC
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
I am inviting all of my single friends and family members with a +1 regardless if they are with someone or not. I know that some of my friends and family won't bring a guest but I am giving them the option. Chances of them bringing a random to a wedding where they don't know anyone is pretty slim.
Wifeynella
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
We decided to do the same thing and not invite singles with guests. First off, FH and I are paying for it.
I'd explain to your friend the situation the way you did to us. The reasoning and the rationale (tons of other singles too) She should understand.
If not... I like the pacifier idea!
bluegreen08
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1) *updated w/ more info*
I'm not going to make an exception for her... I'm hoping she wont bring it up again, but she will know other people there, including a single guy friend she hangs out with all the time, if she doesnt want to dance with 'strangers'
plus, 4 of the 5 guys in the bridal party are single and coming alone! (plus the mutual friend who hasnt rvsp'd yet but told me he'd be coming)
if she gives me a fight, i'll just tell her my parents put their foot down and that's it.
this came up in such a weird way too! she is the friend who used to date the guy that IMed me last night hinting about the wedding. she mentioned to me that he had said how he wants to come to my wedding (how nice of him? ) and I told her I didn't invite him because a) we never talk, b) i havent seen him in 2+ years, c) i thought it would be awkward for her since he has a new gf and they are pretty serious
she told me i could always invite him alone, and i said i cant really invite him without his girlfriend. she asked why not, and said someone else was invited w/out her bf. apparently one of our other friends has a new bf that i didnt know about, so i invited her as a single. not sure what i'm going to do about that, i mean i didnt even know she was seeing someone, not sure how long, and my parents dont really want me to add anyone else. they said if they were that serious i'd know they were dating....
soo i dont really know what to do about that one either... i feel like i need to add her bf, but then its hard for the single friend to see us adding to the guest list. the other friend still never said anything to me about this mysterious bf
kimandvin
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
Just simply tell them that you want the closest people at your big day but you cant afford for them to bring a date. Final and done with !
Valerie-Joe
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
I am not inviting single +1 unless:
They are in a serious relationship (I have to at least have met the guy/girl).
They are from out of town and have to travel a distance to get here.
They won't know ANYONE.
FH has a ton of single guy friends (and I have some girlfriends) that would bring someone they just met. There is no way I can afford to pay for their first (or second) date. I also think that they will be less social and more focused on their dates than they would be if they were by themselves.
But I (or you) don't have to explain yourself. If you wanted to give a guest to everyone who has a name with a 'w' in it, go right ahead. It's up to you. Everyone has an opinion about our weddings and we can't please everyone.
bluegreen08
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
another single male guest just RSVP'd yes, so ...
klovess14
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Re: Please Help (Re: no +1)
Posted by SparkyandAng
Posted by bluegreen08
she already RSVP'd yes, but i think she's trying to talk me into letting her bring a date? not sure who she would even bring!
While I totally agree about the adding the +1 adds way too many folks...if someone seems upset by it, maybe you just explain that you are close to the max for the room but if she really felt she wanted to bring someone, she has to let you know and their name ahead of time so you can add the name to the placecard. At least you know it wouldn't be a last minute decision like I've seen some people do.
I had to do the same thing... My godmothers kids have significant others (1yr or less) and she keeps pestering me and dropping hints about them bringing a guest, I had to tell her that we are maxing out on our room and as of right now the answer is no. I made exceptions for a few who are engaged or with there significant other for a good amount of time. It does add alot of people to the list and I rather be able to invite the people I really want then to have to say no to them because some people want to bring a guest.
