Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

Original post by bride2007

Apr 12, 2004 07:48 PM

I am using a new name because I don't want anyone to know who I am........

FH & I each have 1 much younger sibling that we have always tried to hang out with once in a while. A few months ago, FH was hanging out with his brother & his friends a lot. (I have a CRAZY school schedule & work was slow for him--now he works 70-80 hrs a week) anyway, FH, Brother & Brother's good friend (girl) were together a lot. This girl friend of FH's Brother starts calling FH sometimes looking for Brother & they would go wait for Brother to get off work. Now, FH & I are 25, Brother is 19 & this girl is 16. I express my EXTREME DISSAPPROVAL (hello...16!) of this as does Brother. FH & I have it out (FH doesn't think it's so bad-it's just his brother's friend...blah...blah...blah) & it gets resolved. FH & Brother have it out & Brother tells FH he doesn't want to be best man anymore at our wedding & they stop speaking. Before any of this happened, we all thought Brother had a BIG crush on this girl, so FH thinks Brother overreacted because of his crush & FH is very upset. FH & I are OK, but FH still not talking to Brother. Well, today I run into an acuatance (sp??) of me, Fh, Brother & girl, who tells me, 'if I had know about the situation with 'girl' I would have told you right away & I'm sorry. I just had a talk with her about how F**** up she is'!!!!!!!!!! I just about threw up. I don't know what to do. Brother obviously didn't overreact because of a crush, he knew something I didn't. FH is out east taking care of his Grandmother so I won't see him until late tonight or tomorrow. I can't even see straight. Please tell me what you think. thanks so much

sorry so confusing & long

juju Posted: Apr 14, 2004 09:38 PM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

Sorry, you are going through all this. I hope all works out for you!

oakslady Posted: Apr 14, 2004 11:59 PM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

ok first dont jump to any conclusions until you find out the whole story - you may be making yourself sick over nothing- call fh and talk to him - talk to his brother and get it hashed out - you really dont want to be thinking about this in the back of your mind all the time -
best to just find out now - in my opinion

charlotte227 Posted: Apr 15, 2004 12:03 AM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

Sounds like adults behaving like children or like the 16yr old, the situation as you tried to explain is confusing...at best sounds like statutory rape if anything did go down.....

tourist Posted: Apr 15, 2004 09:57 AM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

so, do you believe the informant? What's the brother's take? I realy hope it was jsut a rumor, but regardless, you still need to deal with how your fiance handled it.

Hope it all works out

Spitzergirl Posted: Apr 15, 2004 10:16 AM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

I hope everything..works out between you and fh..I do understand...what you are going through and talking about....

Just know that men's behaviors....never change..before or after marriage..

Good Luck to you!!!!!!

bridzilla Posted: Apr 15, 2004 10:34 AM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

I feel so sad that you are going through this. You are completely right. I would expect the same thing from my FH.

sweetadeline Posted: Apr 15, 2004 10:57 AM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

I'm sorry you have to deal with this drama!

nylibride Posted: Apr 15, 2004 11:37 AM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

Sorry you're having to deal with such an uncertain situation. I think everyone's got it right. You should first talk to your fiance and get his side of things. It's up to you whether you then believe him or not. Is it like him to show bad judgment like was being described? (has he ever done things like this before or ever cheated before?)
There is (or should be) a *world* of difference between the maturity of a 25 y.o. and a 16 y.o. Nothing good about it.

I hope it works out for you!

MrsBrad Posted: Apr 15, 2004 03:06 PM

Re: Please help.....I don't know what to do...(long)

So are you saying he cheated on you? That sucks so much! Esp if your getting married and she is 16! I dont know what to say but talk to him and good luck.