Please someone, calm me down ....

FMIL just left me a message. As a recap: I emailed her last week, asking her to find out about some people who were invited but didn't respond. She emailed me back, oh, they shouldn't have been invited. No one ever told me this, no one ever told FH. Now there's one more that has to be invited. I told her we can't send more invites out now, we are just waiting on too many people and we may be over the room's max.

Her message: this new person has to be invited, she's the sister of two people who were invited (that shouldn't have been, that no one told me about) and they are coming.



Add this to the fact that 1) FBIL and FH's friend can't connect about the bachelor party (doesn't matter though cux FBIL can't come to NY for it), 2) FBIL is bringing his girlfriend to the wedding (this is news to me, he wasn't invited with a guest because FMIL said 'oh no, it's not that serious) and 3) work is getting busy and I have a million things planned for after work next week and now I have to cancel them.

BAD MONDAY.

FH agrees with the no extra invite thing to the one that was left off, but I do think we need to invite her now - and I know it's just one person but there are all these people on the list now that SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ON IT (i never wanted them on it in the first place, fought with FH over this for weeks but he was told 'they won't come, but they have to be invited) --- and some of them are coming.

I cannot speak to FMIL about it, FH is going to have to do it tonight.

Oh, and FBIL hasn't gotten his invite yet, he's upset. We had the wrong address, my mom mailed it out again weeks ago and it's not there yet.

GRRRRR.

Ugh. Sorry your week is starting off so cr@ppy. I wish I had advice....I'm dealing with a similar issue (being asked to send out additional invites NOW...when the deadline is next Saturday. I THINK these people will realize they were after-thoughts.)

Ugh.

Try and hang in there.

just take a deep breath and relax. I know right now this is all so annoying and you are about to rip your hair out. Just about every family does this, somehow they remember ppl after invites were sent out and then look at you like why didnt you invite them, or turn around and change what they originally said. No matter how far in advance you ask about a guestlist, they remember most of it a few weeks before the wedding.

BUT let your FH handle his side right now, thats what i would do. Its his mom's friends and family that you are having issues with so tell him that youre busy, and have done enough for the wedding and this is something he NEEDS to handle and just to let you know what the end result is.

I know its hard to see this now, but it all gets worked out in the end. Closer it gets to the wedding, the less you also care lol, at that point its like ok if youre coming great and if youre not fine(of course when it deals with those you aren't close to, those you are close to you care) when your day comes you wont even care about this and all these problems will just be a memory

Its just so annoying..i FEEL your stress Im sorry

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Posted by Espo22

just take a deep breath and relax. I know right now this is all so annoying and you are about to rip your hair out. Just about every family does this, somehow they remember ppl after invites were sent out and then look at you like why didnt you invite them, or turn around and change what they originally said. No matter how far in advance you ask about a guestlist, they remember most of it a few weeks before the wedding.

BUT let your FH handle his side right now, thats what i would do. Its his mom's friends and family that you are having issues with so tell him that youre busy, and have done enough for the wedding and this is something he NEEDS to handle and just to let you know what the end result is.

I know its hard to see this now, but it all gets worked out in the end. Closer it gets to the wedding, the less you also care lol, at that point its like ok if youre coming great and if youre not fine(of course when it deals with those you aren't close to, those you are close to you care) when your day comes you wont even care about this and all these problems will just be a memory

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It's true - there are certain things I care SOOOO little about now. You'd think as it gets closer I would care MORE!

I think we will be ok - actually, even if EVERYONE WHO HAS NOT RESPONDED says 'yes' at this point, we'd be at 153 - which is 3 under the room's max (but 3 over what my mom was counting on for the budget) - so I guess we can send the invite. Ahh, that made me feel better!

FH is definitely calling tonight. I know FMIL probably thinks I am ingoring her (which I am - i love her but I cannot deal with this now) - but Fh can deal tonight.

BREATHE !!!!!!!!

wow you are dealing with so much, right now....

i remember your last post about the people that shouldnt have been invited....i feel your pain.

if it really is just 1 more person then i would invite that 1 person, somethings are just not worth fighting over...

have FH deal with his mother firmly about the situation

can you give some of your to do list to some responsible BMS???

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Posted by Future Mulligan

let your FH handle it - he shoud have gone over the list with his parents in the first place to make sure it was correct - at least thats how we have done it - i handled my families guest list and addresses and he did his side...there is no reason you should have to deal with FMIL let him handle it....at this point i dont think it makes a difference if you invite this person or not - 1 more person is 1 more person...if it will shut up your FMIL just invite the person so she is off your back

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HE DID go over the list with his mom. Now she is saying they were taken off. Um, no. I would have been a lot less stressed these past few months if they had. In fact, I sent them the list to review it one last time and thye said they couldn't open it and I thought she was skirting the issue of taking people off and I just dropped it because she and FH kept saying they're not going to come.

And my guest list IS TIGHT. But, I counted the missing rsvps and if everyone says yes (which I am not counting on, i think 5-10 will say no) we're still ok.

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Posted by dewdrop

i'm sure you have enough on your plate right about now/

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Funny, that is what FMIL said in an email to me this weekend.

I think you are smart to avoid fmil for now, you don't need the stress. Sounds like a good idea to invite the one extra person. Not sure why fmil said they shouldn't have been invited but that's not helpful at that pt. And the remaining rsvp's will prob not all be a yes.

hang in there!

Counted again, we would be 2 people over max if ALL say yes. Hopefully RH would allow 2 more?

I know not all will say yes. But IF THEY DO, we have a problem.

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

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Posted by Espo22

just take a deep breath and relax. I know right now this is all so annoying and you are about to rip your hair out. Just about every family does this, somehow they remember ppl after invites were sent out and then look at you like why didnt you invite them, or turn around and change what they originally said. No matter how far in advance you ask about a guestlist, they remember most of it a few weeks before the wedding.

BUT let your FH handle his side right now, thats what i would do. Its his mom's friends and family that you are having issues with so tell him that youre busy, and have done enough for the wedding and this is something he NEEDS to handle and just to let you know what the end result is.

I know its hard to see this now, but it all gets worked out in the end. Closer it gets to the wedding, the less you also care lol, at that point its like ok if youre coming great and if youre not fine(of course when it deals with those you aren't close to, those you are close to you care) when your day comes you wont even care about this and all these problems will just be a memory

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It's true - there are certain things I care SOOOO little about now. You'd think as it gets closer I would care MORE!

I think we will be ok - actually, even if EVERYONE WHO HAS NOT RESPONDED says 'yes' at this point, we'd be at 153 - which is 3 under the room's max (but 3 over what my mom was counting on for the budget) - so I guess we can send the invite. Ahh, that made me feel better!

FH is definitely calling tonight. I know FMIL probably thinks I am ingoring her (which I am - i love her but I cannot deal with this now) - but Fh can deal tonight.

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at this point its normal to care less i mean we've all planned for so long and it just gets to be too much and youre like OK i dont care anymore haha.

Oh then thats perfect that you'll still be under minimum even if everyone says yes. SO with that fact i just say let fh and his mom handle it since it wont screw things up. Just have your Fh tell FMIL that you have so many other things to finish up, and he is trying to help you out by just doing this one thing and that youre not ignoring her.

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

Counted again, we would be 2 people over max if ALL say yes. Hopefully RH would allow 2 more?

I know not all will say yes. But IF THEY DO, we have a problem.

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some places wont charge you extra the day of for 2 ppl. My Rh told me they wouldn't. Hopefully you wont have a problem

sorry Jenn- I hope your day improves!

Lots of hugs for you . It's hard to just take it in stride sometimes, especially when it's an un-expected issue. Def. let FH handle his side. You have enough with everything else you're doing.

Oh Jen, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! I don't have much encouraging to say since i'm going through basically the same hell right now..

All I keep saying to myself is 'honeymoon, soon honeymoon'

Hope your day/week gets better.

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

Counted again, we would be 2 people over max if ALL say yes. Hopefully RH would allow 2 more?

I know not all will say yes. But IF THEY DO, we have a problem.

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jen I have an idea...you can send your overs to my wedding, b/c i'm under by about 20 and I'm only the day before you!

Sorry just trying to make you chuckle.