FMIL just left me a message. As a recap: I emailed her last week, asking her to find out about some people who were invited but didn't respond. She emailed me back, oh, they shouldn't have been invited. No one ever told me this, no one ever told FH. Now there's one more that has to be invited. I told her we can't send more invites out now, we are just waiting on too many people and we may be over the room's max.
Her message: this new person has to be invited, she's the sister of two people who were invited (that shouldn't have been, that no one told me about) and they are coming.
Add this to the fact that 1) FBIL and FH's friend can't connect about the bachelor party (doesn't matter though cux FBIL can't come to NY for it), 2) FBIL is bringing his girlfriend to the wedding (this is news to me, he wasn't invited with a guest because FMIL said 'oh no, it's not that serious) and 3) work is getting busy and I have a million things planned for after work next week and now I have to cancel them.
BAD MONDAY.
FH agrees with the no extra invite thing to the one that was left off, but I do think we need to invite her now - and I know it's just one person but there are all these people on the list now that SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ON IT (i never wanted them on it in the first place, fought with FH over this for weeks but he was told 'they won't come, but they have to be invited) --- and some of them are coming.
I cannot speak to FMIL about it, FH is going to have to do it tonight.
Oh, and FBIL hasn't gotten his invite yet, he's upset. We had the wrong address, my mom mailed it out again weeks ago and it's not there yet.
GRRRRR.
Future Mulligan
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Member since
Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
Posted by JBoothIn2008
Posted by Future Mulligan
let your FH handle it - he shoud have gone over the list with his parents in the first place to make sure it was correct - at least thats how we have done it - i handled my families guest list and addresses and he did his side...there is no reason you should have to deal with FMIL let him handle it....at this point i dont think it makes a difference if you invite this person or not - 1 more person is 1 more person...if it will shut up your FMIL just invite the person so she is off your back
HE DID go over the list with his mom. Now she is saying they were taken off. Um, no. I would have been a lot less stressed these past few months if they had. In fact, I sent them the list to review it one last time and thye said they couldn't open it and I thought she was skirting the issue of taking people off and I just dropped it because she and FH kept saying they're not going to come.
And my guest list IS TIGHT. But, I counted the missing rsvps and if everyone says yes (which I am not counting on, i think 5-10 will say no) we're still ok.
ok yes, i remember your post now, about how she wouldnt let you guys cut - and you sent her the email with the attachment.....ugh it just sounds like she is crazy poor you and poor FH....
just remember that the day of your wedding this wont even be on your mind, its not worth it to get crazy over, i know its easier said than done, but dont let yourself get upset over this - frustrated yea but dont let it upset you
RockysGirl
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Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
oh yeah, i have a definite drawline to how many people i can afford at this wedding, and my guestlist is already 20 people over that. I'm not too worried cause i know there's gonna be some declines anyway. But that means obviously that i can NOT add another person. And all of a sudden my grandma's all up my butt about inviting some distant family i don't even know or care about. Sure, they prob won't come, but what if they do?? I'd be totally screwed. And then my sister wants a friend of hers, my mom wants a friend also... blah, blah, blah. I just had to say no and that's it. These people are on my back-up list if i need it. That's the best i can do, unless THEY wanna pay for the extra people (which i'd never ask for)
so i hear ya.... weddings can get pretty frustrating!!
TrueLoveIn2008
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Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
Posted by RockysGirl
oh yeah, i have a definite drawline to how many people i can afford at this wedding, and my guestlist is already 20 people over that. I'm not too worried cause i know there's gonna be some declines anyway. But that means obviously that i can NOT add another person. And all of a sudden my grandma's all up my butt about inviting some distant family i don't even know or care about. Sure, they prob won't come, but what if they do?? I'd be totally screwed. And then my sister wants a friend of hers, my mom wants a friend also... blah, blah, blah. I just had to say no and that's it. These people are on my back-up list if i need it. That's the best i can do, unless THEY wanna pay for the extra people (which i'd never ask for)
so i hear ya.... weddings can get pretty frustrating!!
I know exactly how you are feeling. I went through that 'but what if they DO come???' crap and was feeling much better about - and now this.
TrueLoveIn2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
Posted by Future Mulligan
Posted by JBoothIn2008
Posted by Future Mulligan
let your FH handle it - he shoud have gone over the list with his parents in the first place to make sure it was correct - at least thats how we have done it - i handled my families guest list and addresses and he did his side...there is no reason you should have to deal with FMIL let him handle it....at this point i dont think it makes a difference if you invite this person or not - 1 more person is 1 more person...if it will shut up your FMIL just invite the person so she is off your back
HE DID go over the list with his mom. Now she is saying they were taken off. Um, no. I would have been a lot less stressed these past few months if they had. In fact, I sent them the list to review it one last time and thye said they couldn't open it and I thought she was skirting the issue of taking people off and I just dropped it because she and FH kept saying they're not going to come.
And my guest list IS TIGHT. But, I counted the missing rsvps and if everyone says yes (which I am not counting on, i think 5-10 will say no) we're still ok.
ok yes, i remember your post now, about how she wouldnt let you guys cut - and you sent her the email with the attachment.....ugh it just sounds like she is crazy poor you and poor FH....
just remember that the day of your wedding this wont even be on your mind, its not worth it to get crazy over, i know its easier said than done, but dont let yourself get upset over this - frustrated yea but dont let it upset you
Thing is, she ISN'T crazy. She is down to earth and really nice. I really love her. I don't know where or when she thought she told us to take people off - no idea. FH will call and work it out ....
Kerin2804
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Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
sorry you have to deal w/ his Jenn. FH needs to deal w/ his mom and the invite situation. If FBIL is nto going to be around for the B-party then he has no say in it. Everything will work out - do not cancel your plans for next week.
MELABELLA82
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Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
I am so very sorry you are going thru this. Just put your foot down. It will all work out for the best....
Smiley7092
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Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
Aw Jenn it will all be ok. It just ***** to start your week off like this. Hopefully FH will talk to FMIL and work everything out. Hang in there!!!
lisa333
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Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
it will be ok everything works out .. breath dont stress your self it make it worse trust me .... good luck
LCnAC
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Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
i know exactly how you feel...and dont you hate it when people invite themselves?? The other day my moms neighbor came over and was like 'oh we cant wait until the wedding!' hellllooo!! they werent invited!!! Then my mom told me we had to invite them!! im already at 260 people!!!
colleen1117
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Member since
Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
DEEEEEEEEEEP breath! ugg i feel like you are writing from my own brain right now!
all you can do is what you can do and thats it. sounds simple...but it is that simple.
let you FH deal with the list issues and don't spend another second on it- you have too many other things to deal with
it will allllllll be fine :) :)
TrueLoveIn2008
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Member since
Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
FH called FMIL, she swears she had a conversation about taking these people off. I never received any such direction and certainly was never told who to take off, even if she hinted at it somehow - no names were ever mentioned.
Regardless - I will send the other invite out today - and the issue is solved I think. FMIL is worried I am mad and that my mom will be, so I think she is calling my mom (I think that is sweet, because my mom is concerned with the numbers) but FH assured her I wasn't mad. I was at first, but I'd call it more 'concerned' now - that we are going over the limit the room can hold.
Thanks all - situation's over!
MrsHtobe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
take a deep breath and RELAX. I know that you are probably so frustrated right now, especially considering her list was big in the first place and you were hoping some of them wouldn't come - and they weren't even supposed to be on the list in the first place
Good news is - even if you DO have to invite her in the end... I think you told me that you got enough no's so that you don't have to worry, right? I'm sorry FMIL is pulling this right now, but think of it - a month from now you will be ONLY 2 DAYS AWAY FROM BEING MARRIED. You are so close, this is not worth getting upset over.
Let Matt talk to his mom and don't stress over it.
Stinks about being busy at work, I know how much that stinks!! You still have a few weeks to get it all done. . .you will be fine!!!
MrsHtobe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Please someone, calm me down ....
Posted by JBoothIn2008
FH called FMIL, she swears she had a conversation about taking these people off. I never received any such direction and certainly was never told who to take off, even if she hinted at it somehow - no names were ever mentioned.
Regardless - I will send the other invite out today - and the issue is solved I think. FMIL is worried I am mad and that my mom will be, so I think she is calling my mom (I think that is sweet, because my mom is concerned with the numbers) but FH assured her I wasn't mad. I was at first, but I'd call it more 'concerned' now - that we are going over the limit the room can hold.
Thanks all - situation's over!
I am 'that' person that didn't read to the end of the thread.
