Please help me figure out the wording for my invitations. I would like to put both our parent's names on the invites but I'm not sure how to do it and I don't want to offend my parents by not signaling them out b/c they are paying for so much and I don't want to offend FH's parents by not acknowledging their contribution. so let me give you all the facts so you can help me out.
My parents are paying for 53% of the wedding FH parents are paying for 14% We are paying for 23% and the remaining 10% is coming from engagement gifts.
Should I word the invites? #1 BRIDE'S PARENTS and GROOM'S PARENTS invite you to share in the joy of the marriage uniting their children
#2 BRIDE'S PARENTS request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter BRIDE to GROOM son of GROOM's PARENTS
or #3 BRIDE and GROOM together with their parents BRIDE'S PARENTS and GROOM'S PARENTS invite you to share in the joy
brady37
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
If your FH parents are helping you guys out financially then I definitely would not pick #2... they might get insulted.
LaurenF
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
i would say number three, but if not three, then one. you definitely can't do #2 if his parents are contributing. as of now my FH's parents said they're paying for their guests (though this remains to be seen) so i felt i had to do #1. i figure if they're going to pay for something, then you have to word it as though they're helping to make the wedding. it's so political---you have to avoid offending anyone!
EGreene79
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
This is a tough question to get advice on because the wording is very personal. The best I can do is tell you what I am doing with a warning that I'm not one for etiquette - I just do what feels right for me.
Both parents are contributing an equal amount and FH and I are paying the difference - which will be a small amount. Before I knew any of this and I thought just FH and I were paying, and later before I knew his parents were contributing, I always had the same plan. FH and I are going to be 28 on our wedding day, have been financially independent for 6 years now, have lived on our own for 4 years and together for 3. On top of that we own a house together. For that reason (and I'm not saying that's right for everyone) we decided to go with
BRIDE and GROOM together with their parents BRIDE'S PARENTS and GROOM'S PARENTS invite you to share in the joy
Just a warning with this one ... we spent a lot of time going back and forth on the proofs because it gets wordy - and it doesn't look great with all fonts in my opinion. They may discourage you from putting and between the parents because it implies marriage, but I went for it anyway because it looked nicer to me. We're also lucky that our parents have been very good and backed off with almost all of the planning realizing we know what we want, and they're going to accept it. They're both laid back anyway.
But again, it's really what's important to you and FH first, then how the parents feel about it. If someone feels very strongly one way, and you're indifferent, try to compromise. If you want to be the host for whatever reason, start with you and FH ... if you like the look of the parents first or like the more traditional look - do that. Either way - GOOD LUCK, and have fun with it!
ETA - It was also important to us that everyone was included on the invite - contributing or not. That's just what we wanted.
Sorry for the length.
natseven
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
thanks girls! I do like the traditional look of having my parent's name on top and technically FH's parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner and money toward our honeymoon so its not directly related to the ceremony and reception but in a way it is I guess. Its a tough one.
tricia3381
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
i'm in a similar sitiuation and were using 3.
ETA: we're actually using
Together with their parents Bride name and Groom name
NY2Cincinnati
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
My parents are paying for most of the wedding as well but when I told my Mom that we were going to word ours like #2 she said no that she didn't want it to be like that so we ended up wording ours like #1. My parents are cool about things like that which is nice.
Summer07Bride
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I would say #3 - this is probably what we are going to use since everyone is contributing 33%
bettybcafe
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
I think #3 is most suitable. My parents, FH's parents and FH and I are all contributing to the wedding...(my mom is putting the most) but I will be addressing the invites..
Together with their parents Mildred and Joseph
blah blah blah
uncqt02
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
I voted for #3. I used 'together with their parents' also. My parents (mostly), FH, and I are paying so I just figured 'together with their parents' would be the best way to not offend anyone. Suprisingly, the only one who was mildly offended was FMIL who is not paying for anthing!! I guess you can't please everyone
myslideshow
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
I read somewhere that it's not technically who pays but who hosts. However, it's pretty traditional to just put the brides parents name. Which one do you actually like best? Is it important to you to have everyone's name on the invite... then pick #3
If you don't mind just having the parents names then pick #1
I know it's not an easy decision...it took me soooo long to figure out wording. Good luck but know that whatever you pick will be perfect!!! And whoever doesn't think that...ignore them.
L&R
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
I'm going to vote #3, but that's because that is similar to our situation and we're going with:
Together with our parents, Mr and Mrs X and Mr and Mrs Y, we Lisa Jeanne X and Raymond Patrick Y, cordially invite you blah blah blah
I thought this was nice and it makes everyone happy!
PattyK
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
I think that # 3 is the best and I don't think that either set of parents would get offended.
AeroJenn
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I think you can go with #2 or #3. I happen to like #3 better because it seperates you and FH out from the parents, but I think it might not look great once its actually in nice font on an invitation (i've seen it written out on invites before and it looks alittle weird).
MattandTricia07
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
I would pick #3 if you think FH's parents should be included
my FILs are paying for the limos, RD and they gave my parents some money towards the reception- a good amount- but not much in the long run of wedding costs. I was planning on having my parents' names first, then us, then his parents.
good luck!
Becks526
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Re: Please take my invitation wording poll
I like #3 the best!
Danacm80
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I think for your situation any of them will work.... I personally like the more traditional wording of #2 with the brides parents first. My parents are paying for the majority, then me & FH are putting a very good chunk and FIL's gave us some money to pur towards things... not much when you look at the big picture and they are paying for the rehearsal dinner. I'm happy with having my parents first.
