as u all know im back to being a single gal and im actually trying to get into the whole dating scene again, it is so hard to play those stupid games of 'how long till u call, calling them back, act like ur confident even when ur not' lol..
i hate games!! im a no bulls**t kinda person and if u like me just tell me uggh!! lol...
the thing that makes me nervous is that in my 3 yr relationship i obviously was myself and didnt play games as time went on and i wonder if that made him lose interest in me even so far into the relationship. is it a constant battle of games between a man and woman even during a relationship or r u ur true self with ur signifigant other..if its the right one eventually games stop umm right? lol..
nov04LIbride
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
I think I knew my FH was the one because we never played games. I met him at a bar the night before Thanksgiving, he asked for my number (and had no pen but promised he would remember it--i was so sure i would never get a call), then called the next day at 9AM to ask me out to dinner the night after Thanksgiving! He called every day from then on...Stay strong, finding the right person is so hard. I don't think your ex was meant to me the one if you feel like what you were really like scared him away. I always felt like I could call my FH 10x a day if I wanted to and it would not be stifling for him. We all kissed many, many frogs (ok, maybe some people didn't kiss so many ) before we found our princes!
RedHead
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
Posted by MuchInLuvMichi
as u all know im back to being a single gal and im actually trying to get into the whole dating scene again, it is so hard to play those stupid games of 'how long till u call, calling them back, act like ur confident even when ur not' lol..
i hate games!! im a no bulls**t kinda person and if u like me just tell me uggh!! lol...
the thing that makes me nervous is that in my 3 yr relationship i obviously was myself and didnt play games as time went on and i wonder if that made him lose interest in me even so far into the relationship. is it a constant battle of games between a man and woman even during a relationship or r u ur true self with ur signifigant other..if its the right one eventually games stop umm right? lol..
1. well i don't think wondering if someone is going to call or not is games per say..I don't know anyone who really puts all their cards out on the table on the first date. And why would you? You have to get to know someone first..I always kinda liked the butterflies of 'is he going to call', what does he think of me...etc..That is one of the most fun times! I would cherish it rather than wanting it to end..
2. If you have to play mind games with someone to keep them interested ..THAT IS NOT THE ONE! Eventually the game will end
kpny622
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
I think that's the key - you know it's the right person when the games stop. When it's 'easy.' When you don't have to question it.
With my old boyfriend, I was always so afraid of rocking the boat that I wasn't really myself. I'd always make sure I was dressed nice, didn't call him too much, etc. Then after him, I dated a bunch of losers who I knew weren't the 'one' b/c they played games and to be honest, so did I. I was unfortunately one of those girls that thought a guy was desperate if he called before a few days!
But I met my husband at a Saturday night wedding - and it was so obvious that we liked each other and got along so well. He called me the NEXT AFTERNOON and I was SO psyched. We saw each other that very night and the rest is history. There's never been any games with us. I can walk around in sweats and no makeup and call him 100 times per day and I know it's all ok and he'll still love me!
OctGroom
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
i screwed this up.. read the next one.
OctGroom
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
Posted by OctGroom
the games end as you know them now.. btw.. i hate the 'when do you call thing'.. ugh. I was so bad at that.
being in a relationship.. there come the new games.. such as pick and choose your battles. also -- there's 'do you want to win or do you want peace.' i think they are better games than the games singles play.. because with these, you're joined at the hip and there's an emotional attachment. JMO
personally I think coming out of a long relationship.. it's best to take a while to relax and do whatever you want to do.
a lot of people like to jump right back in.. (even if just for a fling) i never thought this way. (though people who have done the fling thing say it's pretty damn good.)
damn, i'm off on tangents--
yes.. the games end.
nov04LIbride
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
I agree with OctGroom--I think it is better to have some time alone before jumping into a new relationship. I am a firm believer in that you need to be happy alone, with yourself, before you can be a good and happy partner. It's fun to flirt and go out, but I wouldn't be so quick to jump into something serious.
brideinapril
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
I agree, with my DH there were never any games. What you saw was what you got and vice versa. Thats why he was the one for me!
RedHead
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
Posted by nov04LIbride
I agree with OctGroom--I think it is better to have some time alone before jumping into a new relationship. I am a firm believer in that you need to be happy alone, with yourself, before you can be a good and happy partner. It's fun to flirt and go out, but I wouldn't be so quick to jump into something serious.
I agree too...I also found that when you are looking for Mr. Right..he is never around! He always sneaks up on ya
brideinapril
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
Posted by nov04LIbride
I agree with OctGroom--I think it is better to have some time alone before jumping into a new relationship. I am a firm believer in that you need to be happy alone, with yourself, before you can be a good and happy partner. It's fun to flirt and go out, but I wouldn't be so quick to jump into something serious.
I believe this to be true, on a side note, I was alone for 2 and a half years before I went out with anyone. I needed time for myself and my son. I was with someone for a long time and found that I had started to date a whole bunch of whack jobs so I decided I needed some time alone to get to know myself as a person, I kind of lost myself for a while there. But then I met my DH and I knew he was the one from day one. I always be thankful for taking that time to be by myself, it was the best thing I ever did, for both myself and my child.
tracyg
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
I had broken up with my ex fiance 2 or three months before i met DH. but after the breakup i didn't want to date ANYONE, and i had gotten to the point where i was HAPPY and loved being alone! then DH showed up and messed everything up! LOL i truly believe it happens when you least expect it... and when you're not even trying.
and there shouldn't be any games... dh and i never played any. it just all fell into place and never even had to have the 'where is this going' talk. we just knew where we stood with each other.
OctGroom
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
Posted by oct.2004bride
Posted by nov04LIbride
I agree with OctGroom--I think it is better to have some time alone before jumping into a new relationship. I am a firm believer in that you need to be happy alone, with yourself, before you can be a good and happy partner. It's fun to flirt and go out, but I wouldn't be so quick to jump into something serious.
I agree too...I also found that when you are looking for Mr. Right..he is never around! He always sneaks up on ya
and to take this a step further.. I honestly believe that people should not get married until the are in their late 20's.. early 30's.
Obviously there are exceptions. I think HS sweethearts are awesome but rare.
But I definitely feel that one should have a couple of real serious relationships in their 20's because it teaches them a lot about yourself.. their direction, what they want, etc.
THEN.. they can consider marriage.
Of course.. it's just a theory. I have been wrong about many, many things.
There's a lot of fun to have in the 20's.. take full advantage of it!!!
palebride
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
I can't say totally, becuase my husband is the only REAL relationship I've ever had....but it's the only one i've ever wanted to last. i dated other men (boys actually) and i would end it really quickly. i knew Tom was special when I didn't break up with him after a few days....so maybe i was the only playing games all along....poor guys i dated!!!
my advice - take some time for you. this was obviously and hugely emotional relationship you just got out of...and you deserve some time for yourself! make sure your heart is healed and ready to go before you give it to anyone else
DrmnBlnd
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
I have NEVER played games with my DH...he was himself with me also, and we both talked about this situation. If you have to play games, the person you are with is not the right one.
aliciahelene
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
I have to agree with Oct2004 bride..enjoy the 'games' they are what give ya the butterflies..the mystery of it all!!! I love that part of dating!!! I definately played games with Dh and I enjoyed every minute of it!!! Its part of the fun for me!!! There is a definite difference I suppose between games and really messing with someones head.
september2004
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
Posted by OctGroom
There's a lot of fun to have in the 20's.. take full advantage of it!!!
Butterflybride
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Re: please tell me the games eventually end..
You'll definately know when you meet mr. right. I knew right away when I met my FH. We were in the same bowling league and I bowled against his team and we got along so well and I had so much fun with him and his family that I knew he was the one! I know it sounds dumb, but I asked him for his AIM sn (I am NEVER usually that bold) and we chatted for hours that night. I knew he was the one and I couldn't pass up the opportunity. :)
