please tell me why parents do this stuff (Unhappy Update at end)
I am posting under an assumed name - I post frequently on here, but I am embarrassed to let people know this about my family. ![]()
My parents are divorced and both are remarried. Mom and dad DO NOT get along. At all. Neither do their spouses, depsite being in the picture for many, many years.
My stepfather, although we've had issues in the past, has taken an active role in the wedding planning and supports our wedding and my mom's role in it. (Mom is so excited). In the past, my stepsisters (stepfather's daughters) left my mom, me and my sister completely out of their weddings, (not even invited or acknowledged as family members in any way) which hurt my mom deeply. (All is better now - lots of talking). Mom and stepdad are contributing to wedding.
My father, with whom I also had issues due to the divorce, has only recently struck up a good relationship with me. My stepmother wants only to be treated as a guest at our wedding, purportedly to not step on anyone's toes. Dad and stepmom are contributing to wedding.
My FH's parents are also contributing too, and are very supportive of, our wedding.
In the air of inclusiveness, I wanted to have all the parents (including stepparents) named on the invite, to honor their active role in supporting us in this important commitment, and because FH and I love all six of our parents very much (despite stepmom's lack of interest).
Yesterday, my dad told me he would be totally angry with me and not speak to me if my stepdad's name was ANYWHERE on the invite. He even said at one point he might not even COME if my stepdad was acknowledged on the invite.
So, what would you all do? I and my FH want all the parents named, my mom will be hurt if stepdad is left off, but my dad will be hurt if he's on. (Dad has no problem with stepmom being left off - b/c he says only biological parents should be on the invite.)
I tried the 'it's our day' line, and he said, no it's not - its your day and your parents day.
Please help.![]()
This is so ridiculous - I just can't stand the fighting anymore. (Mom and stepdad's role, or lack thereof, has been big issue with dad all along.) Any advice would be very helpful. TIA.
My parents are divorced and both are remarried. Mom and dad DO NOT get along. At all. Neither do their spouses, depsite being in the picture for many, many years.
My stepfather, although we've had issues in the past, has taken an active role in the wedding planning and supports our wedding and my mom's role in it. (Mom is so excited). In the past, my stepsisters (stepfather's daughters) left my mom, me and my sister completely out of their weddings, (not even invited or acknowledged as family members in any way) which hurt my mom deeply. (All is better now - lots of talking). Mom and stepdad are contributing to wedding.
My father, with whom I also had issues due to the divorce, has only recently struck up a good relationship with me. My stepmother wants only to be treated as a guest at our wedding, purportedly to not step on anyone's toes. Dad and stepmom are contributing to wedding.
My FH's parents are also contributing too, and are very supportive of, our wedding.
In the air of inclusiveness, I wanted to have all the parents (including stepparents) named on the invite, to honor their active role in supporting us in this important commitment, and because FH and I love all six of our parents very much (despite stepmom's lack of interest).
Yesterday, my dad told me he would be totally angry with me and not speak to me if my stepdad's name was ANYWHERE on the invite. He even said at one point he might not even COME if my stepdad was acknowledged on the invite.
So, what would you all do? I and my FH want all the parents named, my mom will be hurt if stepdad is left off, but my dad will be hurt if he's on. (Dad has no problem with stepmom being left off - b/c he says only biological parents should be on the invite.)
I tried the 'it's our day' line, and he said, no it's not - its your day and your parents day.
Please help.
