my first cousin JUST had a baby 3 weeks ago and wants to come to the wedding with her husband and OBVI the baby! We have A LOT of little kids in the family (FH's sister has a 1.5 and 3 year old, etc) but because the wedding is a SAT NIGHT we decided early on NO babies NO exceptions....BUT now I have to tell my FIRST COUSIN NO?
I want to make an exception because: 1) she is breastfeeding so its not like she has the CHOICE to leave baby @ home 2) the baby is such a peanut...not like a 1.5 year old who can run around and wreak havoc 3) My dad has 3 sisters, one of which is the mother of this cousin...and I am SOOOOO nervous that this is going to cause some huge family feud RIGHT before the wedding..
My fiance is ADAMANT about not making an exception bc he thinks we'll hear it from everyone else who had to pay for a sitter and juggle kids around.
PLEASE HELP!
Jesebelle
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
I'm really surprised they would want to bring a newborn to a wedding. I don't think it's safe for the baby to be around so many people. Everyone will want to be handling the new baby all night. It's going to need a crib. Where would you put it? Think about the noise. How can the baby sleep? She may just have to get the baby used to a bottle and pump for that night. She didn't discuss this with you beforehand? It seems a bit late to suddenly decide that her newborn has to come to your wedding.
green_tea
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
i probably wouldn't take the baby to a huge crowded event like a wedding during flu season. i agree with the above poster that it seems weird. your cousin should leave the baby at home. the fact that she is breast-feeding doesn't mean she can never leave the baby with a sitter... she can pump OR the baby can just have formula for ONE night. i'm sure there are exceptions to the no-kids rule your fiance would have liked to have also... it's not fair to make exceptions only for yourself imo.
suzie411
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
my sis had a 3 month old which she brought to my cousin's wedding (they had to travel out of state too). they didn't really have a choice. it was either miss the wedding or bring the baby. I don't know if anyone had a problem with it, but she stayed right outside the reception room (where there were tables and alot of guests hanging out because of the bar).
I think it worked out really well.
We aren't having kids except for the RB and FL, but if a close family member had a newborn baby, i couldn't say no.
JMO. HTH
pjc92980
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
this is a tough one. i see why you would want to make the exception but i am sure others will not be happy about it. I am having a no kids policy and my aunt (who i am very close with) is due 2 months before the wedding but i am not making an exception. I also do agree with the other ladies that having a newborn around that many people is not good for the baby. If she is breastfeeding she can always pump and leave bottles at home.
Cataverri
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
Well i'm applying the same rule, NO KIDS...but honestly i think ppl are going to be upset at that. I understand she breast feeding etc, but she also needs to understand your rule. Dont you think????
Byrne2Be
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
Thanks for all of your insights! My cousin is less than a year older than I and lives in DC so it really is baby or bust....but after thinking things through rationally and speaking with my FH and mom and dad...it is a no-go for so many reasons.
Ahh weight of my shoulders! Just crossing my fingers my aunt doesn't decide to take this really personally and start acting wild.....
THANKS AGAIN!
AngnShaun
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
Posted by Jesebelle
I'm really surprised they would want to bring a newborn to a wedding. I don't think it's safe for the baby to be around so many people. Everyone will want to be handling the new baby all night. It's going to need a crib. Where would you put it? Think about the noise. How can the baby sleep? She may just have to get the baby used to a bottle and pump for that night. She didn't discuss this with you beforehand? It seems a bit late to suddenly decide that her newborn has to come to your wedding.
Can I ask, exactly, how you go about iniating a 'No Kids' rule???
Is this something you put with the invite???
Byrne2Be
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
Nope - nothing at all on the invite or in the invitation suite. Just word of mouth as instructed by most wedding etiquette guides.
Our formal wedding is a Sat night 7pm start so many people didn't even ask if they should bring their kids and when it came up it was like a given that they wouldn't be bringing babies.
A few cousins asked what the deal was because they are all coming in from out of town...Boston and DC.
CaseyCase
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
Just print adult reception to follow ....
luckycouple05
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stand ur ground...I was nice and let a family member of mine come to the wedding with her new baby and WHAT WAS THAT FOR!
CantWaitMrsH
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Wow your future hubby told his siblings they couldnt bring his neice/nephews? If he did that I dont think any kids should be coming. The only kids we are allowing are those of our siblings.
allornil
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
Posted by pjc92980
this is a tough one. i see why you would want to make the exception but i am sure others will not be happy about it. I am having a no kids policy and my aunt (who i am very close with) is due 2 months before the wedding but i am not making an exception. I also do agree with the other ladies that having a newborn around that many people is not good for the baby. If she is breastfeeding she can always pump and leave bottles at home.
that's what i was thinking. my aunt breast fed and she pumped and left the bottles for feeding if she had to go out without the baby. and i wouldn't want to bring my baby anyway.
i'm glad it seems to be resolved. ill cross my fingers that no one starts!
barbtony
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
I put adult reception immediately following on my invite - only had an issue with one side of the family, but it was one of my issues with them. No one else questioned.
MrsJPH2012
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
I agree with everyone else, when you put a no-kids rule in place, you have to hold tight or cause more problems with everyone else who made other arrangements. I understand you feel bad telling your first cousin, but FH told his sister she couldn't and I would believe they may be closer than you and your cuz. It does stink that they may not be able to come now.
AdriandSteve
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
Imo, if your not allowing FSIL to bring your future neices and nephews to the wedding you can't allowt his person to bring their newborn.
jenhef
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
i would not make an exceptions... because then others will start a riot.
A baby doesn't belong at a wedding... first of all.. the attention should be on you.. not the baby... second... even if she is breast feeding.. she can pump and then a sitter can feed the baby...
AdriandSteve
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
Posted by bluehevn22
Can I ask, exactly, how you go about iniating a 'No Kids' rule???
Is this something you put with the invite???
I'm not a huge fan of putting adults only reception. When you address the envelope don't make it out to 'and family'. It would also help if you pre-fill the # of guests attending to the exact # your inviting. People are going to have something to say either way. I invited kids to my wedding so I had no problem. lol
adelya21
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Re: PLS HELP - No Kids Policy BUT...
I agree for a newborn of a family member I would def make an exception.
Posted by suzie411
my sis had a 3 month old which she brought to my cousin's wedding (they had to travel out of state too). they didn't really have a choice. it was either miss the wedding or bring the baby. I don't know if anyone had a problem with it, but she stayed right outside the reception room (where there were tables and alot of guests hanging out because of the bar).
I think it worked out really well.
We aren't having kids except for the RB and FL, but if a close family member had a newborn baby, i couldn't say no.
