Poll: Catholic Mass vs Ceremony

Catholic brides, are you doing a mass or a ceremony?

I'm not really sure how much of a difference there is, I don't know if I've ever been to a nuptial mass, but my FH is all about having the mass, not just the ceremony, any input?

FH and his family are not Catholic and neither are many of our friends... so we are just having the ceremony. I don't want his family to feel left out or awkward when they can't take communion, etc.

Both of my brothers and most of my cousins had a full mass, though. Only one did not, as she was in the same situation as me.

I am having a full mass. My dad said something about my cousin having just the ceremony, and his words were, 'Some people can have just the ceremony, not you, but some people...'

He hasn't asked for anything except this. I can do this

We had a full mass.
We are not overly religious but it was important to us and our parents to have the full mass.

FH isnt catholic ... i dont even think he really believes i god (shhh he said he did for me ) and didnt even want to get married in a church but of course hes doing it for me cause i really wanted it ... so there is no way he would have wanted a full mass i dont even want one i dont want to sit thru all of it and i am sure my guest dont ... plus i dont think i even can if i wanted to cause the deacon at the church is marrying us and i dont think he can perform a full mass

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Posted by Kara and Todd

FH and his family are not Catholic and neither are many of our friends... so we are just having the ceremony. I don't want his family to feel left out or awkward when they can't take communion, etc.

Both of my brothers and most of my cousins had a full mass, though. Only one did not, as she was in the same situation as me.

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I have a very similar situation to this. FH and I are both Catholic, but we're not particularly 'Catholic Religious' - we don't follow all of it to a 'T', we have our own beliefs around the church. Anyway, because of that and because we have a lot of non-Catholic, non-religious friends we didn't want to force them to sit through a mass, especially if having a mass wasn't that important to us.

ETA - FMIL isn't thrilled with this, but ultimately it's our decision. She told me that people attend a wedding expecting to receive communion. One of my BM's was like 'well, that's a new one! Good for her trying to find a way to force you to have a mass!'

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Posted by EGreene79

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Posted by Kara and Todd

FH and his family are not Catholic and neither are many of our friends... so we are just having the ceremony. I don't want his family to feel left out or awkward when they can't take communion, etc.

Both of my brothers and most of my cousins had a full mass, though. Only one did not, as she was in the same situation as me.

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I have a very similar situation to this. FH and I are both Catholic, but we're not particularly 'Catholic Religious' - we don't follow all of it to a 'T', we have our own beliefs around the church. Anyway, because of that and because we have a lot of non-Catholic, non-religious friends we didn't want to force them to sit through a mass, especially if having a mass wasn't that important to us.

ETA - FMIL isn't thrilled with this, but ultimately it's our decision. She told me that people attend a wedding expecting to receive communion. One of my BM's was like 'well, that's a new one! Good for her trying to find a way to force you to have a mass!'

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I'm not really religious either... I wouldn't want a mass even if FH were Catholic (but I'd probably want one). I was shocked my parents understood why we weren't having a mass. I thought they'd push that. I was just very matter-of-fact about why we weren't having one (we don't want his family and friends to feel awkward or out of place) and they understood.

Your FMIL will get over it, I'm sure.

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Posted by july06bride

We had a full mass.
We are not overly religious but it was important to us and our parents to have the full mass.

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same here!

Thanks girls. As of now we're having a mass - but I feel like no ones going to want to sit through it, myself included

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Posted by KSquared

Thanks girls. As of now we're having a mass - but I feel like no ones going to want to sit through it, myself included

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I've been to TONS of wedding masses. They were all beautiful and no one complained about them being too long.

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Posted by Kara and Todd

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Posted by KSquared

Thanks girls. As of now we're having a mass - but I feel like no ones going to want to sit through it, myself included

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I've been to TONS of wedding masses. They were all beautiful and no one complained about them being too long.

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Ok, good to know. Thank you.

If it's any consolation, my one cousin who also did not have a mass, says that she really wishes she did... if for no other reason than to be in the church with her gown on a little longer.

I am not Catholic but FH is. We are getting married in a Catholic church. We are doing the full mass, he said he wants to do this because 3 of his grandparents have passed away so it's important to him. Plus his mother is very religious and alot of other family members of his, so since we knew it was important to them we went with the mass. I also wont be able to take communion bc i am not catholic, but I also don't mind this at all. It was brought up to me and they didn't know how I would react, but I don't care at all.

To me even the full mass is not bad at all. I am christian orthodox and my parents ceremony was about 2 hours long. So the full mass for catholics is real short for us, Me and my parents were like oh wow thats great.

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Posted by KSquared

Thanks girls. As of now we're having a mass - but I feel like no ones going to want to sit through it, myself included

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I have been to many weddings, most were a mass rather than a ceremony. It is not all that long, it's only an hour...I have never heard one complaint from guests. My wedding was a mass too. My theory is that you get married once, if you are on the fence about it, go for the mass... I doubt in the long run it will be something you would regret.

You should do what is important to YOU and FH. People sayign they won't do a full MAss because they might 'bore their guests' or there will be non-catholics there, TOO BAD! you should do what you want and what's important to you. We had several people that were NOT Catholic at our wedding. However, WE as a couple are and it's about the couple, not about everyone else/

Finally, you need to decide how important the Mass itself is to you. Do you believe Christ to be present in the Eucharist? Is the breaking of bread important to you? Do you want to participate in the Eucharist in communion with your husband and new family? Religiously, you need to decide if ti's important to you or not.

If you are not particularly religious and people know that... honestly, i wouldn't do it. why pretend?

For my DH and I not having a Mass would never have been an option. It was the one thing we both really wanted. Every other important day in our lives (other Sacraments, graduations, etc. etc.) Mass has been part of it. Our wedding was no different.

Our Mass was an hour and 20 minutes long... (without a receiving line) and you know what? we got more compliments on how beautiful and meaningful it was and how so much of our personalities shined through. . . . NO ONE said they were annoyed or it was too long... in fact, many said it was one of the most beautiful Masses they were ever at....

I say go for it if you want to and not worry about what others may want.

GOOD LUCK!

the difference is much smaller than you may think. the mass includes communion, and maybe a couple extra prayers.

If you're guest list is not huge, or there aren't many Catholics who would receive communion, the whole thing only tacks on another 10-15 min.

we're doing the whole mass. It would feel wierd to be in church 35 min w/o receiving communion!

For us, we chose the full mass because we felt it was more religious for our devout families. Either way, it will be bautiful