POLL: How many children do you want?

zero - it's not actually that I hate kids or anything (though, I see a lot of what ThreeTwenty was talking about with kids these days being so undiciplined and that annoys me a lot)
My brother just had a little girl in June and I am so happy being an aunt, I love her so much -but, I really just have no desire to have any of my own.

ThreeTwenty- Although I TOTALLY Agree with you that some children have ZERO manners or discipline, are a nightmare to be around, and make you want to smack them, that should be no basis for YOU being able to raise wonderful children.
There are 3 times as many good and well behaved children out there as there are 'brats'. You were a child once, too. Children are not perfect, and neither are adults. We try our best to be civilized adults and raise civilized children.

Although its a very personal decision, and you are absolutely entitled to have or not have children, I think its a shame that these brats in the world make some ptotentially wonderful parents stray away from the thought of it. Maybe your children can be an example to these *bad* children. Maybe you have something *A special touch* that these other parents dont have to raise decent, civilized, giving and warm children.

I can go on and on about this.. I just hope you change your mind one day, especially if thats the only thing that is keeping you FROM wanting to have children.

Being a parent is the most amazing experience in the world.

Would love to have one more, but as you know it hasn't been easy.

Oneday and ThreeTwenty, I respect your decisions not to have children because they are in fact personal ones.

ThreeTwenty I have to say that ALL CHILDREN are not permitted to run wild. Parenting plays a big factor in the upbringing of a child. I agree that some parents however could use a few lessons in it.
It's a shame that you would deny yourself that experience based on how others behave. Remember you and your FH were kids once too!

My son is far from perfect, no child is, but I feel he is growing up to be a fine young man with values, respect and manners.

2 And I agree with having more than one. I have ALWAYS wanted a sibling close to my age. To this day, I wish I had one.

My parents divorced and my Dad eventually remarried and had another daughter. But since she's 12 yrs younger than me and we don't live together we're not that close.

anna & michelle well said

If it was up to me alone, I would say NONE. I have spent most of my life being reponsible for others, taking care of my grandmother in her old age until she died while I held her hand. Being the responsible one in the family, always the one called on for things, helping my mother with her back surgery, helping my dad through bladder surgery, at times putting my own life and needs on hold to put others first.

I have a niece and nephew who are wonderful beautiful children, but I see how much work and sacrifice they take, and I just can't see myself doing that and being happy. Eveyone says 'it's different when they are your own children.' Okay, maybe so. But I see moms with their own children completely frustrated and at their wits end in stores, I see my sister completely frazzled and trying to go in 15 directions at once, I hear her complain about never having any time to herself anymore, and the only time she can be alone is when she driving in the SUV to pick one of them up from school or something. I would be miserable living like that.

I'm finally getting my life to a point where it's MY life, and my responsibility is to myself and my husband--no one else. I'm finally getting to a point where I can have freedom in a way I've never had it before. When I think of having a baby, I see that freedom disappearing again.

I'm 33. I suppose I need to make up my mind soon. The fact that I married later in life doesn't help, as I have to keep in mind that it's going to get harder the longer I wait, and even if I had one now, I may only be able to have one child. Not sure how I feel about having an only child...

If it were up to my husband, he would want two, but says, 'one is better than none.' He knows how I feel about it, and says he's fine with it. If we have them great, if we don't, he's fully prepared to deal with it, and well aware of that possibility.

Sorry....

also well written kmc, i see your point as well.

as long as you are happy thats what matters

kmc... dont laugh... have you thought about a dog... most of the married couples without kids get a cat or dog and that becomes their 'baby'... and doesnt require as much as a baby would...

I agree kids do take alot out of you... the happiest married people i have seen are the ones without kids... although ive seen many happy couples with kids...

Thanks Jenn..

Butterfly, too funny! I have a doggie already! You mentioned how some of the happiest couples you know have no children. The happiest couples I know are also childless by choice. Isn't that odd?

I think it's because children need your time, energy and focus. So the focus moves away from each other and onto the kids. How can that not effect the marriage? That's not to say that you can't have children and still be happily married. I think it just takes more work, and a conscious effort not to neglect each other after children are in the picture.

My DH is always talking about the men at work, and how SO many of them have problems with their wives. They all say they LOVE their kids, but can't stand their wives. What's up with THAT?? Probably because she has to devote her time to the children, so the dynamics of the couple is changed. Naturally, it's not ALL men, but I've heard it more frequently than I'd like to admit. That really scares me.

It's definitely one of the most important choices to make in your life. It's one of the very few things that once done, cannot be un-done. I suppose you have to want children enough to be willing to take the risk of having it change your marriage and your life into something completely different than it is now.... That's HUGE when you think about it.

But I'm sure the rewards outweigh the losses for many moms and dads out there. Just not sure I will feel that way personally.

Karen

very good valid points..
that why we werent all made the same It definately does take alot out of the parents, and unless you have a full time nanny it takes alot of romantic free time away..a trip to disney instead of a trip to hawaii(although i love disney)...
I think with kids it also strains some of the money which can cause tension between the couple, one taking more care of the baby gets frustrated at the other, etc...
but me personally i think it will be rewarding to know i have a baby who loves me, needs me, and came from me, etc.....but everyone is different.. which is the great thing about people cause otherwise we'd be even more overpopulated..

2- and hopefully!

i'm surprised so many women here want twins!! although absolutely adorable, i have friends with twins & triplets & its so unbelievably difficult for them- i certainly do not envy them!

Very well put kmc. FH & I have our little baby DOGGIE as well. He is a Pug & really is our child.....


Funny, I always told people I would be like Oprah, fat, happy, rich, single & a backyard full of dogs.


In reality I am a size 6, white, not so rich, getting married & getting slowly convinced into having a kid....it's funny how 30 changes you

My mom and I had to pre bowl once and their was a birthday party of snot pickers going on. Their had to be about 35 little rugrats running all over. I had zero tolerance for them. I yelled at 3 of them. 1 of them I almost threw down the lane. These kids were wild, running around, screaming and where were the parents?? Gathering in a corner talking amongst themselves. Hello your child is climbing on the chairs, the ball return machine and running up and down the lanes, stop talking about what was on the view and get your kid off the lanes.

Its things like that where I say I do not want children.

Then their are days I could be walking down the avenue going to the store and I see a happy mom with her little baby and the baby so peacefully sleeping. They just look so cute.