POLL: who pays for the shower?

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Posted by GinaZ

traditionally its the bridal party. As per Martha Stewart (LOl Im a dork) the family shouldnt pay 9unless part of the bridal party) because then its like the family asking for presents and it is viewed as rude.

IMO the bridal party should pay, unless a lot of people are being invited and it is going to cost them a lot of money. Then I think family should help pay for it. Its only fair!

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i completely understand what you are saying as per martha stewart and your not a dork.

but i kinda think that tradition of the mom's not paying and the bridal party taking it on is unreal in some sense. my bridal party i know could never pay for a whole shower. my 2 sisters are my moh and they are young so they dont have much money. And I know a shower is not expected but my mom said she would rather pay fr a shower herself than me not get one. Because she never got one and she didn't want that to happen to me. especially since i still live at home and will need alot of the stuff we registered for. but i dont think it is as if the FAMILY is asking for qifts because they host their daughters bridal party idk. Guess that is just my opinion.

ETA: sorry i dont want you to think i was bashing your opinion i was just saying how i can see it a different view from martha haha

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by GinaZ

traditionally its the bridal party. As per Martha Stewart (LOl Im a dork) the family shouldnt pay 9unless part of the bridal party) because then its like the family asking for presents and it is viewed as rude.

IMO the bridal party should pay, unless a lot of people are being invited and it is going to cost them a lot of money. Then I think family should help pay for it. Its only fair!

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i completely understand what you are saying as per martha stewart and your not a dork.

but i kinda think that tradition of the mom's not paying and the bridal party taking it on is unreal in some sense. my bridal party i know could never pay for a whole shower. my 2 sisters are my moh and they are young so they dont have much money. And I know a shower is not expected but my mom said she would rather pay fr a shower herself than me not get one. Because she never got one and she didn't want that to happen to me. especially since i still live at home and will need alot of the stuff we registered for. but i dont think it is as if the FAMILY is asking for qifts because they host their daughters bridal party idk. Guess that is just my opinion.

ETA: sorry i dont want you to think i was bashing your opinion i was just saying how i can see it a different view from martha haha

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I agree. Plus just about everyone, it was also their mom who paid for the shower. It seems to be what most people are doing now. So i know my guests didn't find it rude since they've done the same. So although its tradition for most that the BP pays, in the circle of people we know it is the mother so this is the norm for us. Shower invites i received that showed the mother as hosting i never thought anything bad of it either. Even looking just at this thread it shows how the mothers are paying for a majority of showers.

It can be alot for the BP. For my shower 70 were invited and 65 or 66 showed up so just to pay for the place it wouldve cost them, plus favors, cp's, cake and on top of that to get a gift. And thats on top of the BM dress, many will buy shoes, some will get their hair and make up done, bachelorette party, some will stay at a hotel the night of and also gift for the wedding. So it can be hard to put all that on the bp.

Usually the Brides mother does and the Bridal party helps, or they all chip in together.

I've been to ones where the mother did everything and others where the bridal party paid for everything.

what if your bp along with your mom help? would that work out? Have someone call some places and get an idea of the price range, this way when its broken down to the BM's and see how much it is then maybe they'll feel differently. Sometimes it is about 300-400 each has to contribute and some even less so once they know the figures maybe it will be easier for them. And maybe have them call FMIL and ask if she wants to help with anything like maybe paying for the favors or cake or something

Jenn

my BP is paying I have no parents. well my dad passed and my mom lives in korea.. shes hasnt been in my life and i doubt she will pay for anything

My mom paid for my bridal shower