Sorry ladies, but I have to vent. When my older sister announced she was preggers the week before my engagement party, after 2 seconds of- why now- I was over it and have been buying the baby presents ever since and cannot wait!! Then, when I found out my cousin who is in my BP will give birth 3 weeks before my wedding, I was annoyed but so happy for her and glad that she has already said she won't be bringing the baby or her 2 year old, mainly because, I want her to be able to stay all night and enjoy herself. This weekend though, one of my BM announced she's due Feb. 26th. My wedding is Feb. 24!!!! She wasn't supposed to start trying till January. I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but if I were in a BP, I would make sure I do not get pregnant in the window period which I might possibly give birth at the wedding!!!! I don't care if someone is pregnant at the wedding or gave birth right before it, but there is a VERY good chance she will give birth AT my wedding!!! I don't even want her to come. Of course I'll invite her, but she won't be a member of the BP (we discussed it- I didn't just kick her out) but I really don't want her water bursting all over the dance floor. Besides, would anyone want to go to a wedding, in another state, 2 days before your due date?!?!?!!?!?!
weddingbunny
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
Okay, you need to take a deep breath.
People are NOT going to plan their babies around your wedding. Even if these people weren't trying to get pregnant, accidents happen - and what's she supposed to do, get an abortion so she doesn't have a baby around your wedding? And if she wants a baby now, why should she plan her life and her child around your wedding?
Your wedding is important to the people who love you, but it is NOT going to take precedent over their own lives. It's unreasonable to ask that it does. While I can understand your frustration at having three different bridal party members get pregnant, you need to remember that what's going on with them - literally a human being growing inside of their bodies - is just as important as your wedding - and that biology is biology, and things happen when they are meant to happen, not before or after.
CariDom224
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
Believe me, I know that they didn't do it on purpose and I genuinely am happy for them and know that my wedding day is one day and a baby is forever. However, perhaps I should mention, I didn't even want to ask her in the first place. We've grown apart and barely talk but I didn't want anyone to feel bad and I knew she expected it, especially since after I asked, she made a comment about how I had to ask her because I was in hers. And she was the one to say to me- don't worry, we're not gonna try to get pregnant till january. Plus, she didn't even have the guts to tell me when she found out or talk to me about it. If I were in her situation I would have told my friend what happened and said that I would gracefully bow out. She still expected to be in the BP!! When I'm 9 months pregnant, I don't want to be stuffed into a BM dress and walking down an aisle and doing all the things she would need to do. Not for nothing, but, baby aside, it ***** that if she goes into labor the day before or something, then my friend has to miss my wedding. And it stinks, cause all my friends had their big weddings liek 5 years ago, and now that it's my turn, they can't be a part of it.
MJDoc12
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
this may be an instance of a teeny bit of 'bridezilla' creeping up in you. i'm sorry to say it, but just trying to be honest.
first, you said you didn't really want to ask her to begin with, cause you've grown apart and such...but didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. but yet, now that she's pregnant you're upset that she didn't wait until jan. to start trying. it's like 'i don't really care for her that much in my BP, but she should really have been nice and waited to bring a life into the world until AFTER i have my big day.' i know it's hard not to take things personally, but don't forget that she's not doing it on purpose to upset you. that's just life!
if you think it will be uncomfortable for her, just ASK her if she wants out of the BP since she's gonna be due the day before. it's quite simple, just say 'well since there's a chance you might go into labor around that time, maybe it's a good idea if you retire as a BM cause i really don't want you having to worry about my wedding when you are getting ready to give birth.'
this is no big deal in the grand scheme of things...you'll be short 1 BM....no worries! remember, the most important people you need on your wedding day are the groom, officiant, and you. the rest is extra that we are blessed with.
stephanief
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
I agree that people are not going to , and should not, plan the birth of their children around your wedding....it will be ok
PegaLega
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
I have to say I agree with the other ladies...you cant really expect people to plan their families around your BP. Though I understand what you are trying to say! But, its still not fair to be upset about people getting pregnant and having babies around your wedding date
CariDom224
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
I would NEVER expect anyone to plan their family around my wedding and I know I'm coming off sounding like the bad one here but please understand, I'm not mad people are pregnant and even though I am pro-choice, would certainly not want anyone to have an abortion so they can be in my BP. I'm just saying it *****, that you do all this planning, spend all this money and try to make everyone else happy because you want your wedding to be the most happiest, special, magical day ever and, well, **** happens. And, like I said, she wasn't planning on this happening yet, but told me she thought- well, lets just see what happens. Well, I guess we saw what happens! All I know is, if I was in a BP, I would have wait a few more weeks to just 'see what happens'. There's nothing wrong with a pregnant BM but a BM in labor, well, that's a different story!
weddingbunny
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
Posted by CariDom224
I would NEVER expect anyone to plan their family around my wedding and I know I'm coming off sounding like the bad one here but please understand, I'm not mad people are pregnant and even though I am pro-choice, would certainly not want anyone to have an abortion so they can be in my BP. I'm just saying it *****, that you do all this planning, spend all this money and try to make everyone else happy because you want your wedding to be the most happiest, special, magical day ever and, well, **** happens. And, like I said, she wasn't planning on this happening yet, but told me she thought- well, lets just see what happens. Well, I guess we saw what happens! All I know is, if I was in a BP, I would have wait a few more weeks to just 'see what happens'. There's nothing wrong with a pregnant BM but a BM in labor, well, that's a different story!
yeah. I still think you need some perspective.
First off, what if she does go into labor? There's some hulabaloo, you call an ambulance, she goes off and has a baby, the hall staff gets out a mop, and your party goes on. Personally, I think it would be pretty amazing and significant to literally have a LIFE start at your wedding! Talk about a party nobody will forget!
and what do you mean you 'would have wait a few more weeks to just 'see what happens'? What does that even mean? Are you saying you would have waited before trying for a baby? That just seems silly to me.
I can see how it would be frustrating to have spent time and money on something and have it not turn out - but in the grand scheme of things, this is more an amazing thing than it is an annoying one.
stephanief
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
Posted by CariDom224
I would NEVER expect anyone to plan their family around my wedding and I know I'm coming off sounding like the bad one here but please understand, I'm not mad people are pregnant and even though I am pro-choice, would certainly not want anyone to have an abortion so they can be in my BP. I'm just saying it *****, that you do all this planning, spend all this money and try to make everyone else happy because you want your wedding to be the most happiest, special, magical day ever and, well, **** happens. And, like I said, she wasn't planning on this happening yet, but told me she thought- well, lets just see what happens. Well, I guess we saw what happens! All I know is, if I was in a BP, I would have wait a few more weeks to just 'see what happens'. There's nothing wrong with a pregnant BM but a BM in labor, well, that's a different story!
Hopefully, one day when the wedding is over, you will look back on this post and say 'what was I thinking to say those things'
I am speechless
kathrynlinton
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
Posted by stephanief
Posted by CariDom224
I would NEVER expect anyone to plan their family around my wedding and I know I'm coming off sounding like the bad one here but please understand, I'm not mad people are pregnant and even though I am pro-choice, would certainly not want anyone to have an abortion so they can be in my BP. I'm just saying it *****, that you do all this planning, spend all this money and try to make everyone else happy because you want your wedding to be the most happiest, special, magical day ever and, well, **** happens. And, like I said, she wasn't planning on this happening yet, but told me she thought- well, lets just see what happens. Well, I guess we saw what happens! All I know is, if I was in a BP, I would have wait a few more weeks to just 'see what happens'. There's nothing wrong with a pregnant BM but a BM in labor, well, that's a different story!
Hopefully, one day when the wedding is over, you will look back on this post and say 'what was I thinking to say those things'
I am speechless
Um. I agree! You need to chill! Yes, she could possibly give birth at your wedding, but to be honest, if I were her and had to travel (didn't you say she was coming from another state?) I wouldn't go to your wedding even. It does stink. But one day, you will be the person having the baby and then maybe you will feel a little differently. Just step back from the situation and take a deep breath!
itslaurie.
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
I can't really think of a pleasant way to express my thoughts on this subject so I will just stick with: wow.
NY031978
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
Posted by weddingbunny
Okay, you need to take a deep breath.
People are NOT going to plan their babies around your wedding. Even if these people weren't trying to get pregnant, accidents happen - and what's she supposed to do, get an abortion so she doesn't have a baby around your wedding? And if she wants a baby now, why should she plan her life and her child around your wedding?
Your wedding is important to the people who love you, but it is NOT going to take precedent over their own lives. It's unreasonable to ask that it does. While I can understand your frustration at having three different bridal party members get pregnant, you need to remember that what's going on with them - literally a human being growing inside of their bodies - is just as important as your wedding - and that biology is biology, and things happen when they are meant to happen, not before or after.
i agree w/ you!!! i do understand what you mean....but you cant expect ppl do not have a family bc of your wedding!
afrodyt2000
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
wow. All I can say is that you really aren't in her marriage to know why they did this now. what if there are fertility issues that you don't know about and they decided to start trying early just because they really weren't expecting it to work or they wanted to get the ball rolling because fertility does decrease in the mid-late 30s. I have no idea how old your sister is but I do know that this is a blessing even if you can't see that right now. There are lots of reasons things happen, some we may never know. I understand you were venting but I really hope you didn't expect many people to completely agree with you because your viewpoint is very narrow.
MysteryGroom
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
This Bride can't be for real. I kinda hope a bunch of guests and fellow bridesmaids show up preggers!!!
Nina
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
Posted by MysteryGroom
This Bride can't be for real. I kinda hope a bunch of guests and fellow bridesmaids show up preggers!!!
PaddysGirl15
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
i agree with the ladies--
bride2b24
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
well im sure like the other ladies said that none of these women planned their pregnancies around your wedding and if i were trying to get pregnant....a wedding that i was in would prob be the last thing on my mind.....but i would back out if i was due two days after the wedding ......
DNicholes
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
Posted by itslaurie.
I can't really think of a pleasant way to express my thoughts on this subject so I will just stick with: wow.
Ditto!
Seriously? lol Is this post happening?
For the record my sister's best friend was pregnant at her wedding...(had the baby the weekend after) & everything turned out just fine.
werock0709
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
You can't be serious. And besides, if she's due when you say she is. Chances are she won't even make your wedding
BernandRob
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Re: Pregnant BM rant
I know you keep saying you are really happy for them, but if you were this post wouldn't be here. Pregnancy is not always a planned thing.
Try to start looking at why you are getting married. It's not about who is in your bridal party and who will be there or won't be there b/c of a baby. It should be about you and fh only not meaning other people should revolve their family/world around you meaning you are the only two people you should worry about being there.
