I just want to add a little warning -- as a lawyer. There is some good and some very innacurate advice on this thread when it comes to the law regarding divorce and also wills. PLEASE, just talk to a domestic relations lawyer if you want to make an educated decision about a prenup - don't just go by the legal advice posted here. As I said, some is good and some is inaccurate.
Same thing goes for wills - go to a trust / estate planner, not just a general practitioner to get your wills drawn up. (And this is something everyone should do!)
And, ftr, I don't specialize in domestic relations law or wills, trusts, and estates. Get some recommendations for good lawyers who do.
And if you really want to make sure the prenup is iron clad, make sure you and your FH are represented by your own attorneys. (Most people don't do this, but if you're being extra careful, make sure you both have your own representation)
milana
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Re: Prenups?
Posted by stephanielyse
Posted by winterwhite 4- he is under no obligation to support you financially during the course of your marriage. He can buy playstation 3 tomorrow, and not give you money for new rainboots, after yours are so worn out that they have holes in them.
I am appalled at the implication that I would need my husband to GIVE me money to buy anything.
Well stated! Thats what i thought when reading that as well. Like i previously stated his money is my money and vice versa.
ellebelle1
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Re: Prenups?
Posted by milana
Absolutely not...his money is my money and my money is his money. .
This is how we are too. Honestly, I couldn't imagine getting a prenup unless I was at high risk for divorce, such being Brittany Spears or Jennifer Lopez and had millions to protect. Honestly, my FH and I make normal salaries and he makes more. Given that he doesn't have billions in the bank, if he asked for a prenup I would be appalled and think he was totally selfish and greedy. I might not make as much, but I provide him with an enriched home and family. In a way, you have to trust that if you got divorced, the person you are with wouldn't screw over you and your children. If you have doubts, though, then do it.
DandS
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Re: Prenups?
Posted by jds593
i wouldn't get married with out one... What better time to decide what should happen IF you break up, than when you still love each other? If you decide when your divcoricing, personal feelings could get mixed in, and people could get vindictive. just IMO.
Then again, i have a good friend who's wedding was called off b/c she wanted one.... but it was the straw that broke the camels back i guess.
You know I think this is a very good point!
FH & I did not sign a prenup because everything we have we built together (we have been dating for over 7 years) so everything would and should be split 50/50 anyway.
MnM52607
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No we aren't going to sign one. Neither one has anything right now to protect.
leshellem
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I absolutely love this thread. I personally won't be getting a pre-nup, but let me tell you we talked about it. I also did some research and if you're anything like me, I really never knew exactly what a pre-nup actually is. One advice, do the research rather you are for or against, most likely you don't have all the information needed to make a judgement either way.
I think close to 90% (just my figure, not facts to support) of people who get married believes it will be forever. The same amount of people will also claim they know who they are marrying. Just think that there is (whether you want to believe it or not, and this is fact) a 50% divorce rate. Also a fact there are more single people then married, you will be in a minority. Also please note that women who have been killed or hurt by their spouse also thought they knew them. I can honestly say that I'm not the person I thought I would be just five years ago (actually I feel I am better) But you just can't predict how you will be in the future, how can you predict how your spouse will be.
I agree pre-nups arent for everyone, but do yourself a favor and get all the facts. Talking about it will not make a divorce happen. I know too many people (mostly women) who stay in marriages because they would not be able to support themselves and/or children. A lot have been out of the workforce for years and it would be difficult to get back in.
Just my personal opinion, again great thread.
citycrab705
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i feel i need to say something else on this matter, talking about or getting a prenup does not mean that i don't fully trust my fh or that i don't think we will be together forever but the reality is many many people who thought they were so in love and would be together forever get divorced, it is a fact, none of us want to be a part of the statistics but it is a fact, people get divorced, so i don't think it means we love or trust each other any less, it means we love and trust each other enough right now to work out something fair for the future, if god forbid it came to a divorce we might not want to be so fair to each other
Trishthedish
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Re: Prenups?
Posted by MaureenM618
We won't be having one because we have nothing to protect. Between the two of us we barely have 2 dimes to rub together,