Re: Priest

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Posted by donegal419

And FYI: this Father Bob Alleman is NOT a Catholic priest. He is a defrocked priest that has left the Church. I know this may sound harsh, but he is essneitally a 'rent-a-priest'. He may do weddings in a Catholic traidtion, but it is NOT valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church and it is NOT a Sacrament for the Catholic. It is only a civil marriage.

Please FM if you have questions.

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I never like to respond to this type of thing, but I find it kind of insulting and insensitive to call the person who is marrying people on this site a 'rent-a-priest'. We are all pretty smart women who can do the research on what is important to us, religiously and otherwise, and there are definitely nicer ways to say things.

Anyway, back to the original poster. I've also heard grea things about Fr. Tom McCormick ( http://www.revmccormick.com/) and I've met Fr. Callahan who was really unbelievably nice. I posted here looking for recommendations and got a lot for Father Joseph Devincenzo too.

Good luck!

Re: Priest

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Posted by Valerie-Joe

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Posted by donegal419

And FYI: this Father Bob Alleman is NOT a Catholic priest. He is a defrocked priest that has left the Church. I know this may sound harsh, but he is essneitally a 'rent-a-priest'. He may do weddings in a Catholic traidtion, but it is NOT valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church and it is NOT a Sacrament for the Catholic. It is only a civil marriage.

Please FM if you have questions.

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I never like to respond to this type of thing, but I find it kind of insulting and insensitive to call the person who is marrying people on this site a 'rent-a-priest'. We are all pretty smart women who can do the research on what is important to us, religiously and otherwise, and there are definitely nicer ways to say things.

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I think you are getting insulted over semantics.

Isn't any priest (or other type of officiant) that you or your family don't have a personal religious connection to a 'rent-an-officiant'

Aren't you 'renting' them to perform your ceremony?

Re: Priest

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Posted by Valerie-Joe

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Posted by donegal419

And FYI: this Father Bob Alleman is NOT a Catholic priest. He is a defrocked priest that has left the Church. I know this may sound harsh, but he is essneitally a 'rent-a-priest'. He may do weddings in a Catholic traidtion, but it is NOT valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church and it is NOT a Sacrament for the Catholic. It is only a civil marriage.

Please FM if you have questions.

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I never like to respond to this type of thing, but I find it kind of insulting and insensitive to call the person who is marrying people on this site a 'rent-a-priest'. We are all pretty smart women who can do the research on what is important to us, religiously and otherwise, and there are definitely nicer ways to say things.

Anyway, back to the original poster. I've also heard grea things about Fr. Tom McCormick ( http://www.revmccormick.com/) and I've met Fr. Callahan who was really unbelievably nice. I posted here looking for recommendations and got a lot for Father Joseph Devincenzo too.

Good luck!

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Father DeVincenzo is booked for that day.

As for the 'rent a priest' comment- I have heard of that comment before and it was from someone who worked in the rectory. I don't think it is a deragatory comment. It is very fustrating when it comes to religilous situatuions because everyone differs. And each time I call a rectory I get a different answer about the ceremony and my questions. I am a religious person, and am really upset that a priest (Roman Catholic Priest) can't come to the ceremony.

Re: Priest

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Posted by 2007 Crescent Bride

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Posted by karabara

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Posted by donegal419
And FYI: this Father Bob Alleman is NOT a Catholic priest. He is a defrocked priest that has left the Church. I know this may sound harsh, but he is essneitally a 'rent-a-priest'. He may do weddings in a Catholic traidtion, but it is NOT valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church and it is NOT a Sacrament for the Catholic. It is only a civil marriage.

Please FM if you have questions.

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I don't think I knew that! i write my checks to what I thought was a church, and when i call him he says it's a rectory. interesting....i need to look into this. how did you find this out?

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That is correct. He left the Roman Catholic Church and started I think the American Catholic Church. I can't remember the name. I was just told on Saturday.

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Good Shepard Catholic Church located in hampton bays. i just remembered

Re: Priest

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And FYI: this Father Bob Alleman is NOT a Catholic priest. He is a defrocked priest that has left the Church. I know this may sound harsh, but he is essneitally a 'rent-a-priest'. He may do weddings in a Catholic traidtion, but it is NOT valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church and it is NOT a Sacrament for the Catholic. It is only a civil marriage.

Please FM if you have questions.

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Wow. Thanks for the info. My mother gave me his name and said he is one of only a few Catholic priests who will marry outside of a church.

What do you mean by 'defrocked'. Was he kicked out for doing something wrong?

Re: Priest

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Posted by TheLadyJ

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And FYI: this Father Bob Alleman is NOT a Catholic priest. He is a defrocked priest that has left the Church. I know this may sound harsh, but he is essneitally a 'rent-a-priest'. He may do weddings in a Catholic traidtion, but it is NOT valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church and it is NOT a Sacrament for the Catholic. It is only a civil marriage.

Please FM if you have questions.

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Wow. Thanks for the info. My mother gave me his name and said he is one of only a few Catholic priests who will marry outside of a church.

What do you mean by 'defrocked'. Was he kicked out for doing something wrong?

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These priests can marry outside of the church because they are no longer associated with church due to marrying (they typically do ceremonies in the Catholic tradition though). But I think that is what she meant by defrocked... these priests were ordained as Catholic priests, but once they married, the Catholic church no longer recognizes their ministry as being associated with the church essentially. It's not like a secret that they're keeping though. Fr Callahan's site, for example, states it clearly on the main page. As for everyone's personal feelings about that, to each their own. You can read more about this if youre curious: C.I.T.I. (an organization of active, married Catholic priests)

Re: Priest

i met with a catholic priest at St Patrick's in Smithtown and we asked him about priests coming outside of the church to do a ceremony. he said that it will absolutely not be recognized by the diocese of Rockville center and any person who deems themselves as a roman catholic priest and is performing ceremonies outside of the church can get in 'big trouble' was his exact words lol. we are considering having a civil ceremony at the reception hall then having a spiritual ceremony at the church with immediate family only to appease our families who are devout catholics. something to consider!

Re: Priest

OH!!! and my FH emailed the diocese directly as to why they don't recognize it and basically their answer was, 'that's the rule, period.'

Re: Priest

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Posted by Deeglasser

i met with a catholic priest at St Patrick's in Smithtown and we asked him about priests coming outside of the church to do a ceremony. he said that it will absolutely not be recognized by the diocese of Rockville center and any person who deems themselves as a roman catholic priest and is performing ceremonies outside of the church can get in 'big trouble' was his exact words lol. we are considering having a civil ceremony at the reception hall then having a spiritual ceremony at the church with immediate family only to appease our families who are devout catholics. something to consider!

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this is true if both of you are catholic.

an interfaith couple can get a dispensation and attend precana, and it will be recognized as a sacrament. there are only a few priests who will participate in this though.

i know a couple who had a very small church ceremony on a friday & then had a 'vow renewal' at the RH for all their guests to be part of.

Re: Priest

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Posted by karabara

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Posted by donegal419
And FYI: this Father Bob Alleman is NOT a Catholic priest. He is a defrocked priest that has left the Church. I know this may sound harsh, but he is essneitally a 'rent-a-priest'. He may do weddings in a Catholic traidtion, but it is NOT valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church and it is NOT a Sacrament for the Catholic. It is only a civil marriage.

Please FM if you have questions.

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I don't think I knew that! i write my checks to what I thought was a church, and when i call him he says it's a rectory. interesting....i need to look into this. how did you find this out?

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if you look at his website, it's quite obvious. Also, it is AGAINST canonical law for a Catholic priest to marry couples outside the Church or if it is outside a physical church building, there are certain exceptions and things that must be done.

Essentially, if you understand the Catholic Church's view on marriage and what it really means from the Catholic point of view as a Sacrament, you would understand a bit better why he is not a valid priest and why you could never have a wedding away from the Blessed Sacrament. (Essentially, literally in front of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament).

Also, real priests don't have websites... it's sad, he is making money off of people that think they are getting married in the Church. I tihnk it's disgusting. A real priest does not charge money to marry you.

Re: Priest

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

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Posted by Deeglasser

i met with a catholic priest at St Patrick's in Smithtown and we asked him about priests coming outside of the church to do a ceremony. he said that it will absolutely not be recognized by the diocese of Rockville center and any person who deems themselves as a roman catholic priest and is performing ceremonies outside of the church can get in 'big trouble' was his exact words lol. we are considering having a civil ceremony at the reception hall then having a spiritual ceremony at the church with immediate family only to appease our families who are devout catholics. something to consider!

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an interfaith couple can get a dispensation and attend precana, and it will be recognized as a sacrament. there are only a few priests who will participate in this though.

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Just wanted to comment on this... Jess is right but ALL priests will do this PROVIDED that the dispensation has been completed and the couple has gone through Pre-Cana. This is the law of the Church and all priests will marry an inter-faith couple provided they have followed the correct procedure as stated above. It's very common.

Re: Priest

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Posted by Deeglasser

i met with a catholic priest at St Patrick's in Smithtown and we asked him about priests coming outside of the church to do a ceremony. he said that it will absolutely not be recognized by the diocese of Rockville center and any person who deems themselves as a roman catholic priest and is performing ceremonies outside of the church can get in 'big trouble' was his exact words lol. we are considering having a civil ceremony at the reception hall then having a spiritual ceremony at the church with immediate family only to appease our families who are devout catholics. something to consider!

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yes, but to have your ceremony in the Church you STILL need to complete Pre-Cana and if you do this after you are already married, there is additional steps. You would have to get what is called a convalidation. You might as well get married in the Church from the start.

Re: Priest

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Posted by Valerie-Joe


I never like to respond to this type of thing, but I find it kind of insulting and insensitive to call the person who is marrying people on this site a 'rent-a-priest'. We are all pretty smart women who can do the research on what is important to us, religiously and otherwise, and there are definitely nicer ways to say things.

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I did not mean to insult you, but from what I understand, the OP wants a CATHOLIC priest to marry her and have her marriage recognized as a a Catholic sacrament. this will NOT happen if she has a 'priest' like the ones mentioned because they are not roman catholic priests. Her marriage will not be a Sacrament and will not be a valid Church wedding. I am just trying to make it clear to people that they may think they are getting married by a Catholic priest and they're not. and clearly, people aren't doing the research properly or know a lot about their religion if they think they have a Catholic ceremony when these guys doing them are anything but. I was just trying to make sure that the OP and others know that because for many, a Sacrament and a valid Church marriage is what they want and they will NOT get it if they go with one of these guys. and also, Catholic priests assigned to a parish or an order are not paid for their service- which is why i called the others 'rent a priest.' Sorry if it sounded harsh, but it's the truth.