This question has a bit to do with sacrifice…Yesterday I met with a friend/BM that is moving to Tennessee at the end of next week. She was accepted into an elite master’s program with a full-tuition scholarship and research stipend. Of course it is an amazing opportunity for her, but the program is two years long AND she is ENGAGED! Given the job market, her fiancé is staying in NYC with his current job. Talking to her last night got me to thinking…and thus, the QOTD…
***If there was an opportunity that would excel your career development path that took you away from FH for a long period of time, would you take it? How would your FH feel? If the situation was reversed and FH had to leave, would he? How would you feel?****
MikesBride2B
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
I could never leave FH and I could never live without him. Luckily I've got FSD as an insurance policy that he's not going anywhere. Neither of us has careers that we can't excel at here so I guess its a non issue.
pjankowski
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
When I go on vacation without FH I have a hard time. Sacrafices would def. be made. FH and I would move for each other... I don't think our relationship would do that well if we were apart.
jackieee
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
Neither of us would want to do a long distance thing. I would just be sooo sad and miss him, and vice versa. If either of us were offered a great opportunity somewhere else, the other would MOVE with the person.
I'm a teacher, so I can find work anywhere. If he was offered something better, I would definitely go with him, especially since he HATES his job now.
SoonToBMrsC
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I give so much credit to your friend, and this would be a very tough situation as it is benefiting her career. But if FH were not able to come with me then there would be no way that I could go. I couldn't imagine being away from him for that long. Thats why I stood local for college, I couldn't imagine going away to college without FH.
MayBride2010
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
Because my FH can live anywhere with his job - we would make the sacrifice for each other to move to where the other person had to...
one of us would leave our job if that came up if FH went to another state for work I would go with him and he would come with me.
christine2010
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
we are currently faced with this issue.
we both would love to move upstate, NY one day, however for me this would be a bad move. we would be able to afford a really nice house & beautiful land but with my degree (in accounting) i would never make the money i can make working in NYC.
where as FH will have a degree in Environmental Studies and living upstate would be awesome for him.
we have decided that if it comes down to this type of situation we will buy a house upstate, NY & FH will live there full time. i will continue to work in the city but only 3 days a week. the other 2 days a week i will work from home. we will have this situation for 5 years, then have a family & i would leave my job. once the kids are in full time school i will go back to the original situation.
i guess we will see what happens.
Ivansgirl
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
Posted by MrsC2010
Posted by AdriandSteve
If i had to leave for school/work FH would come with me. I wasn't applying to places where he couldn't find a job.
If FH had to leave i would make the same sacrifice and go with him.
same goes with us....we would both make the a sacrifice and move for one another.
ITA! FH would never go for us living apart at this point.
Its2Snappy
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
This is kind of in the works now. I have to go away for PhD program either CT or PA because of my specialty field. FH really doesn't want to leave NY, but said he'll come with me. He workes in Human Resources so he can work anywhere permitting he finds a job.
I don't want him to come somewhere and be miserable, however. So, I would be willing to live apart and see each other as much as possible for awhile. But, he doesn't want to do that.
If it was reversed I would go anywhere for FH, but I like living in different places so it is not as much of a sacrifice for me.
kimmaymb20
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
Right now FH and I live 80 miles from each other. I am here in LI and he is CT and we wont be living together until either the end of 10 or the beginnig of 11. We see each other just on the weekend and then if we have something going on during the week he will come down or Ill go up there.
Kimbiz1
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
I've got too many years invested in the NYS retirement system to leave NY. FH is a Local 3 Electrician. He could go anywhere but he likes NY because of his family. We're considering a second residence somewhere (he needs a tax deduction badly) but we would do whatever we needed to so that we could live 'happily ever after.'
princessbride9510
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NEVER LUCKILY FH MAKES ENOUGH MONEY TO SUPPORT US SO I WUD BE OK TO STAY HOME~!
Kiki1103
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
I would only take the job if FH could come with me, we did the long distance thing in the very beginning of our relationship, and it was really tough. FH would do the same, only if I could come with him. He has already gotten offers from family in the South to come work there, but he won't go unless I go with him, and since the job market is crap, there is no way I am leaving my job.
JAAMS
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
This topic has come up a bit... FH doesn't want to move because he has a very good & stable job, and this makes complete sense to me as well. I'm going to be applying to PhD programs, and if we weren't engaged, I think I would apply within a larger geographical range. However, I don't want to live apart from him, so I'm going to apply to schools that are in driving distance (some far driving distance... Princeton, Yale, Upenn) but FH would financially help me get to and from those schools everyday. If we were dating, I might have considered living at one of the schools for awhile. But not now.
TheFutureMrsPM
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
If it was be away for a little for a training or something we would just deal or if it was the summer (I am a guidance counselor) I would go. Neither one of us would move from LI we both love it here wayyyyy to much.
JoanneAndJustin
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Re: *********** QOTD 08.04.2009 ****************
I've got a solid set of transferable skills...and FH has a great skill set, but his job opportunities are more limited than mine. if HE got a wonderful opportunity I'd follow him in a heart beat.
I wouldn't live far away from FH. We made a commitment, we're getting married soon, and we're trying to have kids soon after that... a long distance relationship wouldn't work for us.
