QOTD 10.25.13

Good Morning Ladies!

So this morning my Us Weekly App sent me a notification at 4 am to tell me that Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have separated. As annoying as that wakeup call was it made me think there's another couple that's splitting up. Sometimes as FH and I plan this wedding I get nervous, everywhere you look there are marriages that don't last whether it be in Hollywood (which obviously is a distorted reality) or in real life (sometimes it's difficult to find a relationship that has stood the test of time). I guess all we can do as we embark on our marriages is love each other and be committed that we will make it!

My question is this: What is the best piece of marriage advice you have received? Was it from a couple that is still together or is it help from someone whose marriage didn't work? How do you feel you and FH will make your marriage last a lifetime?

Someone I work with who has been married over 30 years told me to always communicate. Don't ever let the line of communication fall apart because that is when the marriage can start to fall apart.

My mom has told me don't go into this marriage thinking divorce is an option. She feels that people go into marriage these days feeling like they will do a test run and if it doesn't work out, we'll just end it. My FSIL said don't ever bring up the 'D' word, even in anger.

I always say to my FH, will you always love me as much as you do now? and his answer is always I'll love you more. FH and I are best friends and I think the key to making it work is to always be friends, always talk and always remember what it was like when we first met.


Looking forward ti everyone's great words of wisdom. Have a wonderful day!

QOTD 10.25.13 - Long Island Weddings

FH and I just finished doing pre cana and the topic always came back to communication, it is so important in a successful relationship. Make sure you talk about everything, let it be good or bad. Also never go to bed angry, this is something I stand by, If we fight I want it over that night, I hate when it drags to the next day.

We are in our late 30's and in our group of friends at least 5 of them are divorced. They were married young and things just didn't work out but what I have learned from all of them is that you need to make sure you not only grow together as a couple but also as an individual, personal growth is important. I know I’m a lot different now then when I was 25 so you need to make sure you accept your partner no matter what and also know you can’t change a person.

FH and I often discuss these friends and what went wrong in their marriages and for both of us divorce is not an option. I always say we are lucky as we were friends for 2 years before we dated so we truly enjoy one another’s company and to me that is important. We always talk about what a great team we are and how no matter what it’s me and him against the world!

QOTD 10.25.13 - Long Island Weddings

I am a little obnoxious about this topic so I apologize in advance. I never ask for relationship advice and I only take advice seriously from certain people, depending on who it comes from. I refuse to take marriage advice from disgruntled married people. I have a belief that everyone's relationships are completely different, and no one knows someone's relationship better than the actual couple. I hate when people give advice like 'when a man gets married, he...' because it is such a generalization.

That being said, what I will do is try to take aspects of other married couples lives that I value and apply it to my own. ie: my grandparents who have been married for 56 years and eat dinner together every night. This is something we currently do, and we agree that it is the foundation of a strong relationship and household. Even when my grandfather worked nights, they would schedule dinner so that they could sit and eat together; my grandma explained that this is where the most important conversations and communication take place! I truly believe that this is super important in every relationship and will continue to apply this to my own!

QOTD 10.25.13 - Long Island Weddings

FH and I have been lucky enough to both have parents with very strong and amazing marriages. We have both learned a TON from both sets of our parents on how to build a lasting relationship. FH and I always communicate... even when we don't know how to say it, we try. We try and try until the right words come out and we don't ever quit. It's simply not an option! We never walk away from each other, never go to bed mad and always solve any issues/concerns in the privacy of our own conversations.

QOTD 10.25.13 - Long Island Weddings

Good question!

My parents celebrated their 40th (!!!) wedding anniversary this past monday and while I recall many a wretched fight between them while i was growing up, they always say that quitting was just never an option. My mom always says 'pick your battles'. There are just some things not worth having a fight over, always remember what's important and worth getting frazzled over. My bro got married a few years ago and it quickly fizzled out + ended because on a very basic level, they didn't share the same values. He always tells me to remember that a wedding is just one day. Very trite but 'don't be so busy building a wedding that you forget to work on a strong marriage.' I think FH and I know deep down we want all the same things from life.

Re: QOTD 10.25.13

I once asked FH 'what if you wake up one day and realize you don't love me anymore?' and he just laughed and laughed and said I was crazy lol. I cannot even fathom us separating. It would be like....losing a limb

The best marriage advice I got wasn't verbally given to me. It was shown. My parents were very young when they had me and my 3 siblings. Yet they defied everything thrown at them and are still together and madly in love. I've learned a lot from them. Talk it out and don't go to bed angry are two key things that FH and I believe in.

QOTD 10.25.13 - Long Island Weddings

When FH asked my dad for my hand in marriage, my dad gave us this piece of advice that I will never forget: Communication and laughter are the key to a successful marriage. Always talk things out, and always have fun with each other. My mom is his best friend, and it is so funny to see them teasing each other and joking around like the first day they had met when they were teenagers. My relationship with FH reminds me so much of my parents relationship and I hope we can continue enjoying each other years after our marriage.

QOTD 10.25.13 - Long Island Weddings

Fh and I have been given marriage advice from people who are still happily married and unhappily married and divorced. Communication is one we have gotten from all three and along the same and really pushed from the divorced was work as a team. When someone starts to take control and not respect the other or disregard the other your communication fails and you can fall apart. My parents have been married for 34 years and their advice was make sure you can have fun together no matter what it is watching tv, eating dinner, or a trip, chores not everything has to be serious. My parents after all these years still enjoy each others company and have fun together. The other we have gotten from unhappily married was never take each other for granted, don't focus on the negative things you don't like about your spouse focus on the positive things. Fh and I always thank each other for doing things like washing the dishes, or making lunch or dinner. Always say I love you and I definitely feel that all of these things we will work to have in our marriage always.

QOTD 10.25.13 - Long Island Weddings

the best thing I learned is that if you go into a marriage hoping that you can change certain habits that you don't like in your FH, then you'll be disappointed. You have to go into a marriage loving everything about that person, even the flaws

QOTD 10.25.13 - Long Island Weddings

Im not sure where I heard this piece of advice but I definitely took it to heart.

Marry your best friend.

I really think this is the key to a successful relationship. There are times when FH and I arent feeling romantic, or arent feeling chatty, or arent feeling happy in general, but we always understand that. Do we argue? Yes absolutely, but it is meaningless because in the next breath, we are picking out what movie to watch for the night. I truly feel like we can be ourselves, even our ugly selves at times, and it is understood. We laugh together and cry together. We dress up, and we dress down. Honestly, everything a girl might say about her best girlfriend, I can say about my FH. We know each other in and out and we dont hold each other to unrealistic expectations.

QOTD 10.25.13

These were such great comments! Thanks for sharing!