QOTD 10/16/08

MirabellaNYC Posted: Oct 16, 2008 06:04 AM

QOTD 10/16/08

Mos of us had to kiss a lot of frogs before we found our Prince..

What is the biggest lesson you've learned from your past relationships and how have you applied it in your relationship with your FH??

MirabellaNYC Posted: Oct 16, 2008 06:10 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

I think the biggest lesson I learned was that you can't make anybody something they're not and that people don't change. I was with somebody for 4 1/2 years and I always thought they'd change for me, or eventually come around. I wanted him to be something he was not, that he would never be.

How have I applied this to my relationship now??

Early on in my relationship with FH I knew 'what you see is what you get', and for the first time in all my years of dating, I didn't have to pretend he was somebody he's not. He was everything I wanted in a man, and I dind't have to work so hard to make it good.
It was all so effortless.

PrincyJo Posted: Oct 16, 2008 06:59 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

I agree.. definitely that people don't change who they are.. and if you truly love someone, you wouldn't want them to change. My last relationship I was always hearing 'I've changed, I've changed'. It get tiring.
With FH once I got to know him, I didn't want to change anything about him.. I realized that we had was what I was looking to obtain everywhere else.

JennyAPH Posted: Oct 16, 2008 09:04 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

I agree that you can't make someone something they are not... and also that you can not have a relationship without 100% trust... Thank god I finally found FH ..thats all i gotta say.

Jsquared279 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 09:11 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

I learned that in any successful relationship it has to be give and take. It has to be 50/50. Both people have to give it their all in order for the relationship to be balanced. I never had that in any other relationship other than that with FH. He is everything I have ever wanted and more!

Good question

VickiR510 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 09:21 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

The biggest lesson is to have patience & listen better to what the person is really trying to tell you. Because if its important enough for them to talk to you about then its important to really hear it. Also, dont interrupt while they are talking.

LvnMrT Posted: Oct 16, 2008 09:46 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

Always go with your gut feeling and doing a background check can't hurt lol
I guess I learned that Mr. Perfect doesn't exist but if you can have someone who loves you for you and would give you the world...and vice versa, than that's close enough. I love my PERFECTLY IMPERFECT man

kmiller Posted: Oct 16, 2008 09:52 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

I have learned to keep a delicate balance between compromise and being walk ed all over. A balance between standing up for myself and being domineering and unbearable.

Its tough to keep a balance sometimes...but its necessary for a healthy relationship.

ace730 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 10:08 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

I think I have learned a lot about compromising and about not screaming when you are angry but talking things out.

MaggieLuvsJoe Posted: Oct 16, 2008 10:48 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

Posted by LvnMrT

Always go with your gut feeling and doing a background check can't hurt lol
I guess I learned that Mr. Perfect doesn't exist but if you can have someone who loves you for you and would give you the world...and vice versa, than that's close enough. I love my PERFECTLY IMPERFECT man

ITA!!!

fabulousmady Posted: Oct 16, 2008 11:02 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

Biggest Lesson I learned:

Luckily this doesnt apply to my FH!

ttdiff11 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 11:06 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

i learned to really just be myself and i agree not to try to change someone!! great question!

Brila09 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 11:21 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

That if it doesnt feel 'right' from the beginning to listen to my gut and walk away. I've been in relationships in the past where I just knew it wouldn't work due to doubts but stuck around way too long to see just in case. Too much heartache and unnecessary stress on both ends.

From the very beginning with FH, I just knew it was different than all the others. I never had any doubts.

meara Posted: Oct 16, 2008 11:40 AM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

def that things don't change on either side. . if I am waiting to 'love' someone more b/c they have so many good qualities and they were crazy about me, it will never happen, I will always be ambivalent, and if someone won't (let's imagine) committ to me, that won't change either . . with FH, I just KNEW, and our communication is so good and constant that I know we can work anything out and would do anything for each other. . well legally and morally of course

littlepixie12 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 01:41 PM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

probably the biggest thing is learning not to settle. In past relationships the guys would put me second and i would just accept it. My last relationship before FH, my ex would always always side with his mother on EVERYTHING!!! Even when it came to things in our relationship. He had no backbone to stand up for what he believed in and just took everything he mother said. I am all for loving mom and family, but this was ridiculous... i mean she would pick fights with me and he would take her side!

thank God FH has a mouth and sticks up for what he believes in

NikkiR515 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 01:57 PM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

I have learned to stand up for myself and to be an independent woman.. In the past my life would revolve around my bfs.. I would be with them 24/7 and I never had a ilfe outside of them! It took me a few failed relationships (and being cheated on) to realize that I have to live my own life!

It works out really well with me and FH because we spend a lot of time together but we also spend time apart with our own friends/doing our individual hobbies.. In the end, I think it makes our relationship much stronger than it would if we were together all of the time!

PoppedInASnap Posted: Oct 16, 2008 01:58 PM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

That you MUST go with your gut.....

If you think something is wrong say it. With fh i feel like its always right :)

gina409 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 02:39 PM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

well i had a bf for 5 yrs b4 fh and he was just awful to me,he cheated went away once without telling me lol always lied bout where he was etc etc etc.i swear towards the end he even made a we see each other only one day a week rule ..(he was looking for a booty call)so when he finally broke up with me i just died that day but after a bit and lots of ice cream i realized i would never never let someone treat me like that again and its been smooth sailing ever since,well it also helps that fh is awesome and would never be like that lol

beram63 Posted: Oct 16, 2008 03:57 PM

Re: QOTD 10/16/08

i def learned to trust my instincts. there was a guy i was with a few years back who had another girlfriend while we were dating (p.s. this pathological liar and rampant cheater who has betrayed nearly every girl he's ever been with is now married to another LIW bride--i wish her better luck than i had). anyway, there were fights we had and excuses he gave that triggered my spidey sense, but i was too insecure to trust myself and he was an expert at turning things around and making me the bad guy.

not that FH has ever cheated on me or been dishonest, but learning to trust myself has def helped me pick up on things earlier than i might have in the past.