~*QOTD 12/30/13*~

Thank you so much to bridejackson22 for making me BOTW!! I'm so excited to be the last BOTW for 2013! TWO MORE DAYS until it's our year!

So, last night we had a family dinner and my brother and SIL were there. As most family dinner conversations do, the topic turned to my wedding; where are we at in the planning, etc. And it turned REALLY uncomfortable at one point with my aunt asking about bridesmaids dresses. She assumed that my SIL was in my bridal party. She's not. Yikes.

So today's question is, how did you decide who would be in your bridal party? Has it caused any drama/tension with anyone?

I do think my SIL assumed she would be asked to be in my bridal party (I was in hers when she married my brother). But we're just not that close. I have three sisters of my own, and friends that I'm just closer with. It was hard because some friends that I am close with I didn't ask, just because it was starting to get out of control and I didn't want 10 bridesmaids!

Re: ~*QOTD 12/30/13*~

Oh damn. That is pretty awkward!

I chose:
- my sister as my MOH because we have always been close. We are close in age; I'm older by 15 months.
- my two aunts (who are only 6 & 4 years apart in age with me) that are like sisters
- my FSIL since we get along great. Though even if we didn't I think FH would have had me put her in anyway so thankfully we like one another! Haha
- one of FH's cousins since not only do we get along great as well but she played a part in us initially meeting! She had plans with him that night but canceled. Because of that, he came out with his friend who was a friend of mine as well! FH and I mutually agreed it would be fun to include her.
- 4 friends. One is a childhood friend whose wedding party I was in just this past November. The second is a friend who I became close with in the 7th grade and my mom calls her our adopted daughter haha. The other two friends I met in the past 8 years.

It didn't cause any drama for me, though one of my aunts who lives in California, is having a rough time financially and told me she was going to bow out because she didn't want me to worry about her. I told her I would help! But she wouldn't hear of it. I'm not counting her out though.

For my FH, the guy my sister has been dating for almost 2 years was very upset he wasn't a part of it! We were like...seriously? I say that because only if they were super serious or engaged or married would he be put in. He told my sister he thought FH & him would grow closer in the next year (we don't have a year to wait to pick a party!) We have known him many years before my sister met him (she met him while out with our friends) but we just weren't that close with him before they started dating! We were so shocked he was upset. Hopefully he's over it by now since we picked this in August, lol. Because at one point he made it sound like he wasn't going to come if he wasn't in the wedding party. Ooookay!

~*QOTD 12/30/13*~ - Long Island Weddings

I decided to have my only sister my MOH because we are super close and she has been there for me through a lot. I am also having my FSIL in my party because we are close even though we don't get to see each other often. She works 2 jobs and never has time, but I don't think it affects our relationship. I chose my friend who I have known now for over 5 years. She is a registered nurse just like me and we worked together and grew very close.
I also chose my cousins Fiancee, which was an iffy choice because we are close like family, but I don't know if it is going to work out! I can't ask her not to be in the wedding party now that I asked already. I should of thought about it before lol

All my friends from elementary and highschool have moved on and we don't really talk anymore. It is sad that once we were close and now maybe once in a while we talk. I guess that is life.

Since I don't have many close girlfriends I also chose my best guy friend to be in my wedding party. I have known him since high school and he has been a great friend. He is getting married one month after us and I am in his party as well.

I feel like if you don't hang out in person or talk to them on a daily basis, then they shouldn't be considered for you party. It is so hard to decide because no one wants to hurt another person's feelings!

Re: ~*QOTD 12/30/13*~

great question and congrats on being new BOTW

my aunt yelled at me for not picking future SIL as a bm lol. she's like way older than he is and I'm not close to her. I'm very glad to see there is 1 person out there who didn't just automatically pick a FSIL lol.

I picked my 2 closest cousins, that was easy.

then I picked my MOH who is my bff and has been since for 15 years! we're actually running off to Cabo in February because we were like just because we're married we need a girls trip like old times lol.

all my other girls I've known 1 since we were like 8 years old, another since 15, and another since 22. it was pretty easy for me to pick who was closest to me etc.

NOW just because I knew who to pick does not mean there was no drama lol. tons of girls I know asked me if they could be a bridesmaid.... like wth??? I was like did someone say I was giving out cars? because really people were hounding to be bridesmaids lol. 1 girl I'm not even close to another I was close to but we're not real close anymore. BTW I was engaged years ago & she was gonna be a BM, from day one she told me if she was a BM she wasn't getting a new dress and would wear the old one..... I remember thinking ok she def will not be asked to be a BM lol. pretty sure she's gonna wear that dress to the wedding though and probably be like look I'm wearing dress you picked when with your ex! lol. all my other girls just donated the dress, it was like 8 years ago!

another girl I'm not even gonna go into that whole story but we aren't close anymore & she flipped over not being asked though I haven't really seen her in years. since she wasn't asked she hasn't asked anything about the wedding and anytime I'd ask a simple question about anything she'd be like go ask your BM's lol. eventually we just stopped talking and I deleted her on FB which she hasn't even noticed. she also of course skipped my shower & never said a word. never commented about my weight loss either, or even said happy birthday, nothing. didn't send her an invite to the wedding after all that and doubt she'll notice. she came to our engagement party but I'm pretty sure that was just because she was hoping I'd still pick her at that point.

she also would send me dozens of texts saying she was crying and so upset. basically trying to guilt me into asking her. FH wouldn't let that happen lol. she also said years ago how she was gonna be my MOH and still had her speech... um my moh I have now was the same MOH I had picked years ago so I dunno where she got that. though years ago she kept asking to be MOH and I was like no lol. after all that not working she just disappeared. MY moh/bff had her wedding in Oct, family only in her BP and I didn't flip out lol. I was happy because I need money for my own wedding and didn't need to have to buy dress/shoes etc. we are still bffs lol. people take these things way too serious.

~*QOTD 12/30/13*~ - Long Island Weddings

wow yeah that is awkward.

I chose my bridesmaid by my sister being my matron of honor, my best friend since we were 9 my maid of honor. I knew my closest friends I wanted to be apart of my bridal party so I chose 4 of the closest and ones that knew me during certain points in my life. My friend Kristine who I have know since we were 5 and has known me through almost every part of it there was a small period when she was away in college where we drifted by came back. My friend heather who's known me since I was 12 and coming into my own. She actually started off as my sisters best friend but as we got older we have more in common and just clicked and she is way closer with me than now than she ever was my sister lol. My friend John he is my gay best friend and has known me since we were 16 we bonded over something stupid and he is blunt and tells people how he sees it and always been that way and we have been close ever since. My friend Emily who I still wonder why she ever friended me after her first meeting of me lol. I was a hot mess going out for a mutual friends bday. John was with me holding up the train for my as I am running barefoot in a backless short dress heels in hand in the pooring rain. Slide on the train nearly flashed everyone. Was just loud, first thing I pull out of my purse when I sat down before even introducing myself was mini bottles of grey goose had some offered it up to others. Her first words were 'I love this crazy ***** we should be friends.' We have been ever since lol. I picked those people for specific reasons cause they are my closest friends and known me through different periods of my life so far and I want them to be there as I enter a new period of my life.

Re: ~*QOTD 12/30/13*~

My MOH has been my best friend for about 10 years now. I'm her sons godmother and I was her MOH 6 years ago.
My 3 BMs are: my cousin on my moms side (we've grown really close over the past few years, as she's gotten older. A good friend from college - she's more like a sister, since we lived together from dorm life in 1995 to post-undergraduate apartment living in Boston. And, a good friend from my prior life working in the nightclub scene- I just love her to pieces.
I was supposed to have a 4th BM, but she found out she was pregnant right after I got engaged and unfortunately can't fly all the way from Seattle at the 8-month mark.

Its so funny how you mentioned the SIL dilemma, because I was secretly hoping FH would ask my brother to be one of the GM. I totally understand why he chose the friends that he did - they have been close for a long time - and he's really only met my brother a dozen or so times. I would never try to guilt him into it. I think my mom was kinda bummed that my brother wasn't asked, but she was cool about it and didn't give either of us a guilt trip (although she probably wanted to push the issue a bit).

~*QOTD 12/30/13*~ - Long Island Weddings

Congrats on being BOTW!!

I knew who I wanted to put in our bridal party! Our immediate family and close friends..thankfully I didn't hear any backlash from anyone because I didn't pick between the group of girls I'm close to, and picked from my other group of girlfriends that I'm also close it (I know sounds confusing lol, I have a couple of different groups of friends..childhood, work and friends over the years)

*Edited to specify

I have a total of 7 girls (MOH is my sister, 2 Matron of honors are my FSIL, BM 1- I have my gf that I met thru my ex and stayed friends for over 9 years now, BM 2- my other gf that is FH's childhood friend's fiancé, BM 3 is my gf I've known for over 12 years & BM 4- is FH's BFF's gf that I got close to over the past 4 years & 8 guys (BM is his middle brother, BM/GM 1- his older brother, GM 2- our friend that we've known for over 4 years, GM 3-his childhood friend, GM 4-another childhood friend, GM 5 & 6- are his closest co-workers that have become more than co-workers and only ones we hang out outside of work) and 2 Koumbaros (his BFF & his godsister) for the Greek church, and I'm also just having my niece as my flowergirl

~*QOTD 12/30/13*~

My moh is my younger cousin who is more like my little sister. I've known forever that she would be my moh.
My bridesmaids are my sister in law who is like another little sister, my three best friends who I met in dancing school when I was 11, my cousins wife who I'm very close to, and my cousin who is only 5 months younger than me....I only added her because I needed the numbers to be even. I thought there would be drama because she actually has a twin and an older sister but there wasn't. I also have my three nieces as my flower girls and my youngest first cousin as ring bearer.
Fh has his brother as best man, 3 best friends, and my 3 brothers as groomsmen. No drama there

~*QOTD 12/30/13*~ - Long Island Weddings

I have my sister, my sister's wife, my 3 friends, my cousin, and my two FSIL's. Every one of my friends/family members have always asked their SIL or FSIL to be in their bridal parties, so I never gave it a second thought and just asked my FH's two sisters right away. I'm not that close to them, and the bachelorette will be a little awkward lol, but I knew it was the right thing to do (plus my FMIL probably would be disappointed if her daughter's weren't in it).

Every bride has the right to pick whoever they want though, so you shouldn't feel bad about not asking your SIL

~*QOTD 12/30/13*~ - Long Island Weddings

I didn't want anyone in my BP that hasn't been a significant part of my life for a substantial amount of time. I grew up with my cousin around all the time - we are more like sisters and she is my MOH. My actual sister and I are far apart in age, we are still very close but she understood why my cousin was my MOH and she is a BM. FH sister is a BM and the 5 other girls are very close friends of mine. I've known one of them for my whole life because we grew up across the street from one another, 2 of them have been my best friends since pre-K and the other 2 I met at work in 2001 and we've been inseparable ever since. It hasn't necessarily caused any tension and I wouldn't have altered it in any way, but I do feel bad not asking a few girls whose weddings I was in.

~*QOTD 12/30/13*~ - Long Island Weddings

My MOH is my sister. My seven other bridesmaids include: FH's two sisters, my best friend from high school, my best friend from college, and three friends I've met over the years in my adult life who I love dearly. Every person in my wedding has been an important part of mine and FH's life and I'm so happy with everyone I chose. The only little drama has been mostly internal. I decided not to put my cousin in the wedding. I was her MOH seven years ago and although we were close growing up we are not at all close now. I've had a lot of guilt about it but so far, no drama.