Happy Friday!!! Thank goodness! I’ve had the Loooongest week at work. I am so looking forward to this long weekend.
Okay, we have one question today. This question always lead to a disagreement between FH and I. We have postponed this conversation…
1.) Will there be children at your wedding?
~*~*~*~*~
I do not believe that children belong at a wedding, especially a nighttime wedding. FH and I are paying a lot of money for this wedding and I don’t want a ton of children running around acting crazy. Also, most people who bring kids to a wedding don’t cover the kid’s plate. Children 12+ pay regular adult price at our hall. I would like to make the cut of no children under the age of 16.
FH has a problem with this because he has a handful of 1st cousins that will be between 11-16 (at the time of the wedding). His brother also has 4 step-children, 3 of which will be under 16 by the time we get married. I don’t have any young children on my side that will be making the trip. My cousins that live in Puerto Rico have children under 16, but I don’t think they will travel for my wedding. If they do, I can’t imagine them bringing their kids along.
FH’s other argument is about our Flower girl. I asked one of my BM’s daughter to be our flower girl. She will be 7 at the time of the wedding. FH doesn’t think it will be right if we exclude his cousins and his brother’s step-kids, but allow our Flower girl to come to the reception. He doesn’t understand the whole “She’s in the Bridal Party” thing. Oh, well…
As of right now there will be 10 teenagers (16-19) and if we allow children there could be up to 10 kids under 16. My worst fear is having the kids running around, sliding on the dance floor, knocking things over, crying, etc… FH said that if we don’t allow kids then our Flower girl can’t come to the reception, which I am okay with. I have also discussed this with my BM and she is also fine with it.
But then on the other hand, what if my cousins decide to make the trip with their kids?? My entire family hasn’t been together in years. But if we allow my cousins kids, we have to allow all kids. How do we make everyone happy?? If we allow kids, the families will be happy, but I won’t be.
Eunified
Posted:
Member since
Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
This is a hotttt topic in the wedding world! LOL & I am having kids at the wedding! Call me crazy, I know! LOL
FH has 5 nieces and nephews who we just can't picture any party without, I have 3 little cousins, a godson..etc. A LOT OF CHILDREN in our family! So we felt we couldn't exclude anyone.. I imagine there will be a little madness but luckily Woodbury has a little room right next to the Reception Room where kids can always go hang out if they want or sleep if they get tired.
Plus, I remember going to my first wedding when I was 8 and I loveddddd it! Started my wedding dreams! Then again.. I was a super well behaved little girl! LOL
MommaMia
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
This is a hot topic w fh and i. I have a daughter so she will of course be there she will be 9.5 then. We are allowing children over 14 b/c he wants his god daughter there and he has a lot of first cousins. But we are cutting out the children under 14 w the exception of my daughter. I agree that night weddings are not a place for children.
As for family members I have his aunt asking me if his 16 yr old cousin can bring a date.
4Everhisgirl
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
The only children that will be at the wedding will be immediate family members. My niece and my two nephews, and FH's niece and his 3 nephews...all who are in the wedding party. We are probably going to put on the invitation that it's 'Adults Only' so other guests will know that is is not OK to bring their children.
2013Bride
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
My fiance' and I don't have any children in our immediate families. We decided on IF we had nieces or nephews or young first cousins, those would be the only kids invited. I have two first cousins that are younger (will be 15 and 17 at the time of the wedding) and my fiance' also has two first cousins (will be 14 and 16 at the time of the wedding), so those will be the only 'kids' invited.
My biggest pet peeve is a baby crying during a wedding ceremony... hahaha.
fdnybride163
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
the only kids that will be there are my 2 ring bearers and 1 flower girl and MOST LIKELY after the ceremony, and introductions their parents will get someone to pick the kids up and have a babysitter for them.
I want my guests to be able to enjoy their night. its an adult party. you wouldnt bring your kids to a 30th birthday party at a bar why would you bring them to a 6 hour event that goes until midnight!
I never we went to weddings with my parents when i was younger! and if people expect their kids to be invited, SOOOORRRYYY im not coughing up an extra grand for your kid who isnt going to eat anyway
My biggest issues is a few of my cousins want to bring their bf/gfs.. NOPE your freakin 16... not a chance.
One of my cousins got married last year and my other cousin didnt come bc his gf wasnt invited... stupid
nyrvixen
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
We are having kids mostly because FH has triplets in the family. The girl is our flower girl and the 2 boys are our banner boys. They'll be 6 at the time. Then there's his nephew who is our ring bearer and will be 3 at the time and now his sister is pregnant again. Since they live out of state I didn't want them to have to find a babysitter. I ould love to stop it there but on his mom's side of the family he has another cousin that has a 3 year old and just gave birth to another one. We can't have the triplets and his nephew there without letting his other cousin bring her kids. One of my bridesmaids has a kid and another is pregnant now. One of them has said her mom will babysit and I'm hoping the other one does the same.
Soon2BMrsB2013
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
FH has 2 nieces and a nephew. One of the nieces and the nephew are our flower girl and ring bearer. The other will be 2 years old by the time we are getting married. She is invited and so are the flower girl and ring bearer. I also have a cousin who has 2 young children. They mentioned they will prob leave the kids with a sitter but they can always change their mind. There is a separate room for the kids if they get tired or bored with a huge screen tv. We were thinking about hiring a babysitter to sit and watch the kids while thier parents were at the reception but so far, none of the parents seem too keen on the idea of leaving their kids with someone they dont know.
katnwill
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
It's so funny you ask this question because one of my friend's is getting married in June. When I was talking to her about the number of guests on the list she asked me if that included children and I told her children would not be invited to the wedding unless they were in the wedding party. The way she responded was like what do you mean no children. I explained to her that my wedding will not be a play ground for children to come run and play around. It will be an event in which all the adults can enjoy especially me and FH.
I really do want any children at my wedding except for the ones who are in the bridal party. Both FH and I have a lot of children in our family. I do not have any nieces or nephews however he does. We both also have cousins and cousins with children. I want to make it clear that children are not invited to the wedding in the invitations because I will not be paying for them. However, I am not sure how to word it so that no one's feelings gets hurt. It's just not fair to us to be having children running around in our wedding.
FH's cousin is getting married this summer and I wonder if she will have children at her wedding. If she does the family will probably get mad at us for not inviting children to our wedding. However, they are not paying for it we are and FH will stand firm on that. He already thinks we have too many people on the guest list.
JulesMarie27
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
This is such a touchy topic!! FSIL thinks she will be bringing her 1 year old. Sorry - not happening!! lol I didn't shell out 30K for a baby to be there (FH totally agrees).
Our flower girl will be there who will be 5 by then along with her sister who is going to be 11. FH's cousin will be there too, but she will be 12 by then. Other than that no kiddies, but do you know how many close friends with TODDLERS have asked the question 'are you having kids?'
I'm sorry, but if you're not self sufficient and you go to bed by 8:00 then I don't think a nighttime wedding is the place for you LOL Gets me so mad!
Vent over.
lauren1802
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Member since
Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
Posted by ThefutureMrsC
This is a hot topic w fh and i. I have a daughter so she will of course be there she will be 9.5 then. We are allowing children over 14 b/c he wants his god daughter there and he has a lot of first cousins. But we are cutting out the children under 14 w the exception of my daughter. I agree that night weddings are not a place for children.
As for family members I have his aunt asking me if his 16 yr old cousin can bring a date.
16yo! date! i say no way! lol
lauren1802
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
NO children!
Except Flower Girls & ring bearers (4 & 2- ages will be 10ish, 7ish, 2 @ 5 ish, 2 @ 2 ish)
My lil argument is that 2-3 years old is too young for a flower girl- even if they are escorted and/or wheeled down the aisle but im losing this battle... LOL
lauren1802
Posted:
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
Posted by fdnybride163
the only kids that will be there are my 2 ring bearers and 1 flower girl and MOST LIKELY after the ceremony, and introductions their parents will get someone to pick the kids up and have a babysitter for them.
I want my guests to be able to enjoy their night. its an adult party. you wouldnt bring your kids to a 30th birthday party at a bar why would you bring them to a 6 hour event that goes until midnight!
I never we went to weddings with my parents when i was younger! and if people expect their kids to be invited, SOOOORRRYYY im not coughing up an extra grand for your kid who isnt going to eat anyway
My biggest issues is a few of my cousins want to bring their bf/gfs.. NOPE your freakin 16... not a chance.
One of my cousins got married last year and my other cousin didnt come bc his gf wasnt invited... stupid
ITA with all of your htoughts!!!
jassy119
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
We orginally were going to have 3 kids in the bridal party and they would be the knly kids allowed at the wedding. We were going to have 2 flower girls (FH daughter and my niece) and 1 ring bearer (my Godson) but I thought about my brother and my MOH having to watch over their kids and not being able to fully enjoy themselves so we are not having them in the wedding anymore.
But there is still an issue with FH daughter. I know he wants her in the wedding and I dont mind her still in the ceremony but as terrible as it sounds Id rather her not be at the reception. She would be the only child, I dont want her getting board or cranky. Plus, not trying to sound mean cuz Im def not trying to come off that way, but I dont want her clinging to FH all night. Its our time and I want us to enjoy ourselves and him not have to worry about her.
Our ceremony is at the RH and anyone who could possibly pick her up to take her home after the ceremony will be a guest at the wedding so it wouldnt be right to say oh can u drop her off and come back? Lol.. So I dont know what is going to happen as of now.
lauren1802
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
*thoughts
MrsMegas
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
We had this disagreement as well. It took a lot of convincing to get FH to finally agree that if they weren't in the bridal party, the kids couldn't come.I think when we figured it out, it would have been a table and a half to 2 tables of just kids! We don't have a ton of babies, but there are a ton of Tweens in the family. I don't think I'd have so much of a problem with them misbehaving, but they're still kids, and someone has to at least check in on them, and I didn't feel that was fair to my family (Plusplenty of Aunts/Uncles/Cousins expressed that they would have no problems leaving the kids at home!). Even with the kids in our bridal party, the parents said that they would most likely be picked up after introductions at the catering hall, which we had no problem with.
JenniBella
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
The only kids at my wedding will be the 2 girls in my bridal party and 1 boy who is in my bridal party but he will be 9 or 10 and the girls will be 10 and my 2 cousins my uncles kids one is my godson.
Other than that age limit is 13 and up
No dates and noone elses kids. Wedding isnt a place for them. thats why i was skeptical in putting htem in the bridal party but one is me step neice and the other is my cousis daughter.
Im not starting a family war with my uncle and I feel they should be invited bc they are my dads nephews regardless there age. But other than that no kids.
FH agrees with me on everything and if i had kids it would be a circus. There is way way too many in both our families.. My one cousin has 5 kids triplets and twins.
teacherteacher
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
We're having kids. There might be 10 kids in total, and they will all be under 6 by the time we're married, but I can't imagine asking someone to come see us get married, bring us gifts, and oh by the way pay someone to watch your kids because they can't come!
Adding: I can see not having kids at an evening wedding, or something super-fancy.
mattandjess2013
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
I personally don't believe in kids at a wedding. My MOH has 3 kids (1 on the way - so 4 kids by the time my wedding comes around), but I already told her that, as much as I love them, we aren't having ANY kids there. I just don't think children belong there. IMO, if you bring your kids to a wedding, one of two things will happen: 1. you will have fun but no one else will because you're not watching your children or 2. you will not have fun because you are too occupied by entertaining/watching them. I've seen it way too often when the kids run amuck. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but I don't want to be worried about tripping over a little kid or having them spill something on my dress!
MarryTheNight24
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Re: ~*~*~ QOTD 2/17/2012 ~*~*~
I am not a fan of children to begin with, so i always said NO, no children, BUT, There will be 3 older kids. My 3 first cousins (one is my goddaughter)that I am very close with. The twins will be 12 and the other will be 14 years old. None of my cousins children are invited and none of his cousins children, etc. I feel like a lot of the people who are coming who have children rather go without them anyway.
