Posted by AMGBride2008
but I'm guessing they got horney.
Posted by yelley77
Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.
Posted by Mimacat
None of my friends are married! I'm the first one.
Posted by yelley77
Posted by cbcf
I know someone kinda who did it this way
well here is the story-- the guy cheated on his fiance with 3 different girls (he was in the military with fh so he was not home alot)
and well he told my FH that he would probably propose bec she was looking at rings and wanted him to move in right away after he got out of teh military. and he said well if she could stick with me through the military i guess ill propose.
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If I were not engaged...
i would't want someone to propose to me 'just because'. Or because they think they can't do better or we are the 'hood biitch'. I would want him to propose because when he thinks about his life at 60, he can't imagine me not being there with him (The book of Kristi, page 123).
i think that a lot of people are just way to immature to get married and that bothers me
Posted by Future Mulligan
i think that a lot of people are just way to immature to get married and that bothers me
Posted by yelley77
Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.
Posted by yelley77
Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.
Posted by yelley77
Posted by Future Mulligan
i think that a lot of people are just way to immature to get married and that bothers me
I knew someone that was getting married that was in an AWFUL relationship and she knew it but just ignored it in hopes that when they finally got married, it would be all good. The fighting would stop, among other things, and they would live happily ever after.
Posted by ChristineAaron08
One of DHs friends gave his GF a ring so she would sleep w/ him![]()
She kept nagging and saying she wouldnt sleep w/ him until she got a ring (fine- its her perogative-her life- her morals) but we really think she just wanted the ring and used the sex to get it...They had only been together a few months.
Needless to say- they are not together anymore..she was VERY controlling.![]()
So I guess she got a shut up and sleep w/ me ring![]()
Posted by yelley77
Posted by bluegreen08
i voted no.
I do know one person who has been pressuring her bf like crazy to propose, but he hasnt 'given in' yet.
i dont consider this the same situation, but friends of ours had an ultimatum of sorts where they had 'the talk.' he was moving to texas and she wanted to know that they would be getting engaged in the near future before agreeing to move out there with him. they had been together 4+ years and i dont think people were pressuring them, but she wanted to know where things were going before moving down there. wouldn't really call that a 'shut up ring' but others might?
I think every case is different. That, to me, does not sound like a 'shut-up ring'. It sounds like your friend has a good head on her shoulders. It takes a lot to leave hom and start a new life somewhere else and she just wanted to make sure that he was seriously committed to her!
Posted by ChristineAaron08
Posted by yelley77
Posted by Future Mulligan
i think that a lot of people are just way to immature to get married and that bothers me
I knew someone that was getting married that was in an AWFUL relationship and she knew it but just ignored it in hopes that when they finally got married, it would be all good. The fighting would stop, among other things, and they would live happily ever after.
Aww I think I would hold off on the wedding a bit if DH and I were having problems. I mean- you get married and figure you can work on things, but then you have kids and things done change and you are less likely to break up after kids so you are sorta stuck. JMO Marriage is serious shitt!
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by ChristineAaron08
One of DHs friends gave his GF a ring so she would sleep w/ him![]()
She kept nagging and saying she wouldnt sleep w/ him until she got a ring (fine- its her perogative-her life- her morals) but we really think she just wanted the ring and used the sex to get it...They had only been together a few months.
Needless to say- they are not together anymore..she was VERY controlling.![]()
So I guess she got a shut up and sleep w/ me ring![]()
Hmm, what do you think his first clue was that she was controlling?![]()
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Posted by JodyLC
I voted yes!!! My ex-best friend got a shut up ring and shut up marriage. She was obsessed with this guy and had a child by him, she broke up his marriage to another woman, he cheated on her repeatedly, she married him, he cheated repeatedly again, had another child by him, they split up, she was STILL obsessed with him. She never divorced him nor he her, they were separated 5 years. She NEVER dated another person, slipped into DEEP depression and OD'd last August on pills her doctor gave her for depression in the last 2 years before her death she rarely left her bedroom (she and the kids moved in at her parents after the split). I never went to her wedding or spoke to her much after it, I had issues with how she manipulated the situation to get him. I tried to tell her it would end badly and it did.
Posted by yelley77
Posted by ChristineAaron08
Posted by yelley77
Posted by Future Mulligan
i think that a lot of people are just way to immature to get married and that bothers me
I knew someone that was getting married that was in an AWFUL relationship and she knew it but just ignored it in hopes that when they finally got married, it would be all good. The fighting would stop, among other things, and they would live happily ever after.
Aww I think I would hold off on the wedding a bit if DH and I were having problems. I mean- you get married and figure you can work on things, but then you have kids and things done change and you are less likely to break up after kids so you are sorta stuck. JMO Marriage is serious shitt!
Marriage IS serious. And I think that so many people say, 'well, if it doesn't work out, we'll just get divorced.' I think that is so sad. I know that no one goes into a marriage thinking it's going to end in divorce, but I'm sure there are people who are not 100% sure that it's the right thing to do.
Posted by yelley77
Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.
Posted by ChristineAaron08
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by ChristineAaron08
One of DHs friends gave his GF a ring so she would sleep w/ him![]()
She kept nagging and saying she wouldnt sleep w/ him until she got a ring (fine- its her perogative-her life- her morals) but we really think she just wanted the ring and used the sex to get it...They had only been together a few months.
Needless to say- they are not together anymore..she was VERY controlling.![]()
So I guess she got a shut up and sleep w/ me ring![]()
Hmm, what do you think his first clue was that she was controlling?![]()
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I know right![]()
No milk until you buy the cow...the cow accepts payment in the form of diamond only!!
Posted by bluekat16
Posted by Future Mulligan
i was listening to this too - i think a lot of guys are pressured and i think ive seen it happen...i tried so hard not to do that to my FH because i've seen how obnoxious other girls acted and i didnt want to be THAT girl.....
my FH brought up getting engaged before I did and he asked me soooo many questions because he wanted to surprise me with a ring I would love and also he wanted to make sure we were on the same page when it came to what type of wedding we would have and how long of an engagement we would have - so of course all that talking got me really excited - we live together so i knew that he was saving and i had an idea of when he was doing suspicious things (like going to jewelers) and also he liked to bring it up to torture me and we did talk about it A LOT but that was because it was already happening and we were both so excited....my FH ended up totally surprising me with the proposal and ring so many months before i actually thought it was going happen...i dont think i put pressure on him at all and i would hate if i ever made him feel that way.....
My FH and I had the same conversation...and he acutally brought it up first. One day we were walking by jewler's and he pulled me in and asked me what kind of ring I wanted 'if' we were to get engaged. He's even brought up kids first
. We spoke a lot about our future and what we wanted in marriage, life and in a wedding before we got enaged.
Unfortunately,my parents towards Dec. started pressuring him and me. I finally lost it on them. I told them that if they kept it up i was going to say 'NO' when he asked, because I would not tolerate him feeling like he needed to propose. I also told them it was our relationship and they needed to back off...and they did. Little did they know that him and i had already had legnthy conversations about marriage, the wedding, living situations, etc. But I was not going to tolerate that from them.
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by yelley77
Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.
I can't think of anyone I know that got a 'shut up' ring. I wouldn't want to be engaged that way. I didn't really think that happened so much these days.
I think a lot more of this goes on. I guess when people are so deep in a relationship, they get comfortable and don't want to leave and hope the negative things will change or get better? Growing up I've seen so many people in relationships that I don't think were really well-suited for each other. I think people reach a point in their lives where they feel it is that time in their life when they should be getting married, and it's more about that and not who they are marrying...know what I mean?
Posted by yelley77
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by yelley77
Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.
I can't think of anyone I know that got a 'shut up' ring. I wouldn't want to be engaged that way. I didn't really think that happened so much these days.
I think a lot more of this goes on. I guess when people are so deep in a relationship, they get comfortable and don't want to leave and hope the negative things will change or get better? Growing up I've seen so many people in relationships that I don't think were really well-suited for each other. I think people reach a point in their lives where they feel it is that time in their life when they should be getting married, and it's more about that and not who they are marrying...know what I mean?
I understand. As I said before, anyone can get married for any reason they want. it's their life. I just think it's crazy how *some* people go into it so lightly.
