QOTD

they were saying that the guys sometimes get pressure from not only the girl but her family and friends - i feel bad for those guys because that def happens to some guys!

I know someone who is pressuring her BF, but he hasn't given in yet.

It will def be a 'shut the eff up' ring. Shes unrelentless about it!

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Posted by Future Mulligan

i was listening to this too - i think a lot of guys are pressured and i think ive seen it happen...i tried so hard not to do that to my FH because i've seen how obnoxious other girls acted and i didnt want to be THAT girl.....

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I totally agree. We talked about it, shopped for it, talked about it more, etc, but never once was it 'propose or I'm gone.' when we first started dating I was very upfront with him about where I wanted to be in my life... That I wanted to be married and start a family by the time I was 30 (so long as it was in God's plan and it was right with someone) and he knew that. About a year and a half in he suggested we look for rings and about 5 months later he proposed. I knew he had the ring (he can't keep a secret) but totally caught me off gaurd withthe proposal!

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Posted by Future Mulligan

they were saying that the guys sometimes get pressure from not only the girl but her family and friends - i feel bad for those guys because that def happens to some guys!

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i feel bad for the couple who gets pressure from outside people ya know. what if they are content with their relationship. what if neither of them want to get engaged but do it to please others
that stinks

I know someone- one of my best friends.

They've been together 5 years and she kept saying that she wanted to get married and he said he NEVER wanted to. So they would fight and break-up all the time and be back together in a day or two. He finally proposed..convinced her not to have the wedding for 3 years -in 2009 (she wanted to get married right away), then he didn't want a wedding at all (she really wanted one)..he kept saying he didn't want to get married..she would always say 'then why did you propose?' and he would say 'so you wouldn't leave me'. In the end, they had a quickie wedding at town hall in December..which is fine...exept that they lost all deposits they put down and she can't even talk about weddings without getting teary eyed because she didn't get to have one.

Now they fight constantly and she calls me crying at least once every two weeks asking if she should get divorced. He's mean and keeps remindign her he NEVER wanted to get married and she's going to have to deal with his nastiness forever now.

I want to punch him in the face.

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Posted by MrsHtobe

I know someone who is pressuring her BF, but he hasn't given in yet.

It will def be a 'shut the eff up' ring. Shes unrelentless about it!

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I just don't get it.

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Posted by JodyLC

I voted yes!!! My ex-best friend got a shut up ring and shut up marriage. She was obsessed with this guy and had a child by him, she broke up his marriage to another woman, he cheated on her repeatedly, she married him, he cheated repeatedly again, had another child by him, they split up, she was STILL obsessed with him. She never divorced him nor he her, they were separated 5 years. She NEVER dated another person, slipped into DEEP depression and OD'd last August on pills her doctor gave her for depression in the last 2 years before her death she rarely left her bedroom (she and the kids moved in at her parents after the split). I never went to her wedding or spoke to her much after it, I had issues with how she manipulated the situation to get him. I tried to tell her it would end badly and it did.

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That is so sad.

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Posted by DeeluvsVinny

I know someone- one of my best friends.

They've been together 5 years and she kept saying that she wanted to get married and he said he NEVER wanted to. So they would fight and break-up all the time and be back together in a day or two. He finally proposed..convinced her not to have the wedding for 3 years -in 2009 (she wanted to get married right away), then he didn't want a wedding at all (she really wanted one)..he kept saying he didn't want to get married..she would always say 'then why did you propose?' and he would say 'so you wouldn't leave me'. In the end, they had a quickie wedding at town hall in December..which is fine...exept that they lost all deposits they put down and she can't even talk about weddings without getting teary eyed because she didn't get to have one.

Now they fight constantly and she calls me crying at least once every two weeks asking if she should get divorced. He's mean and keeps remindign her he NEVER wanted to get married and she's going to have to deal with his nastiness forever now.

I want to punch him in the face.

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That is an awful situation.

Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.

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Posted by yelley77

Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.

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There are definitely people I know like this. Including my friend I talked about earlier in the post. It really makes me sad. Marriage is not about the wedding..it's about love. the wedding is just a fun side benefit. Thankfully, I've always been realistic about relationships (in the end at least) and not stayed in them if I was miserable just so I could be married.

I was listening to that too this morning and i was getting angry at some of the callers!!!!

I do not know anyone who has received the 'shut-up ring' but, i do know of someone who will not get the ring until she shuts up!

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Posted by yelley77

Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.

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DEFINITELY!!!!! I think some people get wrapped up in the whole wedding extravaganza, they forget about the whole marriage part.

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Posted by yelley77

Does anyone ever think that sometimes people are more in love with having a wedding than getting married? Like, they put all the bad aside and ignore it in hopes that marriage will bring them wedded bliss? I've met soooooooo many people like this that it's almost disturbing.

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I totally think that some peopple are more in love with the idea of getting married. I've met some epople like that one couple is getting divorced (this girl was obsessed with getting married ebfore she turned 30). Another couple they've had a VERY rough first 5 years of marriage but now things seems to be working out...but it's been a really hard go.

It definitely is disturbing.

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Posted by emomma17

I don't know anyone who got the shut up ring, I know people who have ended because they were giving the pressure of i want to get married now and those relationships ended!

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same here...I know alot of girls who put the pressure on and nagged for a ring and in the end, they just pushed their bfs away...

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Posted by Future Mulligan

i was listening to this too - i think a lot of guys are pressured and i think ive seen it happen...i tried so hard not to do that to my FH because i've seen how obnoxious other girls acted and i didnt want to be THAT girl.....

my FH brought up getting engaged before I did and he asked me soooo many questions because he wanted to surprise me with a ring I would love and also he wanted to make sure we were on the same page when it came to what type of wedding we would have and how long of an engagement we would have - so of course all that talking got me really excited - we live together so i knew that he was saving and i had an idea of when he was doing suspicious things (like going to jewelers) and also he liked to bring it up to torture me and we did talk about it A LOT but that was because it was already happening and we were both so excited....my FH ended up totally surprising me with the proposal and ring so many months before i actually thought it was going happen...i dont think i put pressure on him at all and i would hate if i ever made him feel that way.....

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My FH and I had the same conversation...and he acutally brought it up first . One day we were walking by jewler's and he pulled me in and asked me what kind of ring I wanted 'if' we were to get engaged. He's even brought up kids first . We spoke a lot about our future and what we wanted in marriage, life and in a wedding before we got enaged.

Unfortunately,my parents towards Dec. started pressuring him and me. I finally lost it on them. I told them that if they kept it up i was going to say 'NO' when he asked, because I would not tolerate him feeling like he needed to propose. I also told them it was our relationship and they needed to back off...and they did. Little did they know that him and i had already had legnthy conversations about marriage, the wedding, living situations, etc. But I was not going to tolerate that from them.

I don't know anyone who was given a 'shut-up' ring, but I have known people who were given an 'I'm stuck' ring... which IMO, isnt the same.

1) They got preggers and I guess they decided that getting married was the only next step. Fortunately, they're very happy with another baby on the way.

2) They wanted to have sex... plain and simple! I know that they loved each other and would've married eventually, but due to his beliefs (he was in seminary at the time) he wanted to wait and she respected that... but I'm guessing they got horney.