QOTD

On my way to work this morning, Z100 was having an interesting conversation and I thought maybe we could talk about it here.

The Engagement Ring vs. The Shut-up Ring

The engagement ring is obviously a ring given to a woman by a man who wants to get married and wants to plan a future with his wife-to-be.

The shut-up ring is given to a woman by a man who feels an insane amount of pressure to marry this woman by either the woman, friends or family. He hopes that by giving her this ring, everyone will shut up and stop pressuring him to propose/marry.

So my question for you is, do you know of anyone that has been given 'The Shut-the-eff-up ring'?

I thought this would be an interesting topic to discuss. I've also attached a poll for those that don't feel comfy stating their opinion in the thread.

I heard it this morning too. I called in and told the person my story and I was on hold to talk to them, but they switched topics!

But to your QOTD, I dont know anyone that was given a shut up ring. I would feel really bad for them

i voted no.

situation 1: I do know one person who has been pressuring her bf like crazy to propose, but he hasnt 'given in' yet. he is older but has no desire to get married any time soon.

situation 2: i dont consider this the same thing at all, but friends of ours had an ultimatum of sorts where they had 'the talk.' he was moving to texas and she wanted to know that they would be getting engaged in the near future before agreeing to move out there with him. they had been together 4+ years and i dont think people were pressuring them, but she wanted to know where things were going before moving down there. wouldn't really call that a 'shut up ring' but others might?

One of DHs friends gave his GF a ring so she would sleep w/ him

She kept nagging and saying she wouldnt sleep w/ him until she got a ring (fine- its her perogative-her life- her morals) but we really think she just wanted the ring and used the sex to get it... They had only been together a few months.

Needless to say- they are not together anymore..she was VERY controlling.

So I guess she got a shut up and sleep w/ me ring

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Posted by cherish83

I heard it this morning too. I called in and told the person my story and I was on hold to talk to them, but they switched topics!

But to your QOTD, I dont know anyone that was given a shut up ring. I would feel really bad for them

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It's kind of sad to know it's done...

I thought it was an interesting topic none-the-less

Wow, not me!!!!

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Posted by bluegreen08

i voted no.

I do know one person who has been pressuring her bf like crazy to propose, but he hasnt 'given in' yet.

i dont consider this the same situation, but friends of ours had an ultimatum of sorts where they had 'the talk.' he was moving to texas and she wanted to know that they would be getting engaged in the near future before agreeing to move out there with him. they had been together 4+ years and i dont think people were pressuring them, but she wanted to know where things were going before moving down there. wouldn't really call that a 'shut up ring' but others might?

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I think every case is different. That, to me, does not sound like a 'shut-up ring'. It sounds like your friend has a good head on her shoulders. It takes a lot to leave hom and start a new life somewhere else and she just wanted to make sure that he was seriously committed to her!

No, I do not know anyone..thankfully. That is sad - I would not want the shut up ring ...it just doesn't mean the same as ours

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Posted by ChristineAaron08



So I guess she got a shut up and sleep w/ me ring

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Way to put me on blast.

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Posted by Kerin2804

No, I do not know anyone..thankfully. That is sad - I would not want the shut up ring ...it just doesn't mean the same as ours

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I completely agree!!

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by ChristineAaron08



So I guess she got a shut up and sleep w/ me ring

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Way to put me on blast.

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nevermind--duh me- not thinking today

no- this was DHs friend, not mine..i didnt spill your secret

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by ChristineAaron08



So I guess she got a shut up and sleep w/ me ring

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Way to put me on blast.

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HUH

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Oh, I thought you were talking about me!!! guess not.

Yes I know someone. My cousin was given one.
Her and her boyfriend have been engaged for about 5 years now and they have a child together. But they have NO plans to get married.

I guess this is a touchy subject!!

I know someone kinda who did it this way

well here is the story-- the guy cheated on his fiance with 3 different girls (he was in the military with fh so he was not home alot)

and well he told my FH that he would probably propose bec she was looking at rings and wanted him to move in right away after he got out of teh military. and he said well if she could stick with me through the military i guess ill propose.

w t f

i was listening to this too - i think a lot of guys are pressured and i think ive seen it happen...i tried so hard not to do that to my FH because i've seen how obnoxious other girls acted and i didnt want to be THAT girl.....

my FH brought up getting engaged before I did and he asked me soooo many questions because he wanted to surprise me with a ring I would love and also he wanted to make sure we were on the same page when it came to what type of wedding we would have and how long of an engagement we would have - so of course all that talking got me really excited - we live together so i knew that he was saving and i had an idea of when he was doing suspicious things (like going to jewelers) and also he liked to bring it up to torture me and we did talk about it A LOT but that was because it was already happening and we were both so excited....my FH ended up totally surprising me with the proposal and ring so many months before i actually thought it was going happen...i dont think i put pressure on him at all and i would hate if i ever made him feel that way.....

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Posted by cbcf

I know someone kinda who did it this way

well here is the story-- the guy cheated on his fiance with 3 different girls (he was in the military with fh so he was not home alot)

and well he told my FH that he would probably propose bec she was looking at rings and wanted him to move in right away after he got out of teh military. and he said well if she could stick with me through the military i guess ill propose.

***

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If I were not engaged...

i would't want someone to propose to me 'just because'. Or because they think they can't do better or we are the 'hood biitch'. I would want him to propose because when he thinks about his life at 60, he can't imagine me not being there with him (The book of Kristi, page 123).

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by cbcf

I know someone kinda who did it this way

well here is the story-- the guy cheated on his fiance with 3 different girls (he was in the military with fh so he was not home alot)

and well he told my FH that he would probably propose bec she was looking at rings and wanted him to move in right away after he got out of teh military. and he said well if she could stick with me through the military i guess ill propose.

***

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If I were not engaged...

i would't want someone to propose to me 'just because'. Or because they think they can't do better or we are the 'hood biitch'. I would want him to propose because when he thinks about his life at 60, he can't imagine me not being there with him (The book of Kristi, page 123).

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i love it! words to live by i tell ya it works in so many different scenarios

i was waiting for someone to bring this u[p