Good Morning ladies!!!! I hope no one else was struggling as much as me to get out of bed. Here is the question :
You have sent a good friend of yours an invitation for your wedding without the “and guest” because you are trying to keep your wedding at a certain number of people. She /he calls you back and asks can she bring her significant other…What would you say to them?
Even though i haven't sent my invitations yet one of my friends (who has no bf) had asked me if she can bring someone I simply told her I was sorry but i couldn't because I am trying to keep a certain number of people at my wedding and most of them are people I know. I am inviting her family though.
JenBill61210
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
i would have said the same thing, 'sorry but we are keeping it small, i hope you understand'.
JoanneAndJustin
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
I will tell them we're really trying to keep it small. If my good friend isn't dating someone seriously and wants to bring a guest....I'll see if there's room when we do the final count and if there is, she is more than welcome to bring her guest.
I have a feeling we might not make our minimum so the more people who want to bring guests the better!
kater08
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
I agree...if she doesn't have a SO, and you're trying to keep it small, then she should respect that.
However...if she is going to be the ONLY single person there, you might want to throw her a bone and let her bring a guest!!
RitasEngaged
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
I would say the same. That is what I am doing with everyone unless it is serious and they have been with them a long time I am not invoiting anyone with a guest.
T E R I
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
If I were trying to keep it small and she wasn't seeing anyone, I agree and would say the same thing.
But for all my single friends i have factored them in with a plus one already when i was making my guest list
FallBride2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
I have factored everyone in with a +1. I just feel that at a certain age...it's courtesy to extend the option to bring a date. I feel that just because someone doesnt have a serious boyfriend or hasnt been with their significant other for a long time...doesnt mean they want to attend events alone...especially if most people arent single.
amandah75
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
I'm with everyone else. As long as the person does not have a SO, I would kindly ask she just come on her own....unless she'd be the only single person then I'd have to make do. If there was room available after my final count, I'd be more than happy for the person to bring someone.
christine2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
FH & I had factored everyone over a certain age with a +1. most of our friends have SO's. a few of the guys don't so they will not be getting +1's. if someone asks us we will be very honest & say we are trying to keep costs down & money doesn't allow everyone to bring a guest.
Opera_Ghost
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
If it wasn't a long term significant other I'd say no and tell them I'm sorry but we're trying to keep a small intimate wedding.
Most of my friends understand I'm tight on money trying to budget this wedding.
TessMike621
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
i thought it was proper etiquette to invite everyone 'and guest'...that's what we are doing so this problem won't come up...UNLESSSS people decide to invite and 3 guests or something...then i would probably just accomodate to them just to avoid any drama
Goldie39
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
I am only allowing people who are in long term relationships with a guest. Most of the guest on my list are in relationships and the ones who aren't will know plenty of people there so they won't feel 'alone.' I would rather not have a whole bunch of people who I have never met in my life at my wedding just to accommodate someone else. It makes me cringe to think about paying for total strangers when I think about all of the things I could buy for FH and I (more excursions on our HM, decorations in our new home, wedding albums, etc).
So to answer the QOTD, I would tell my friend to wait until I have all my rsvp's and final count, and THENNNN maybe I could work something out.
FallBride2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
Posted by TessMike621
i thought it was proper etiquette to invite everyone 'and guest'...that's what we are doing so this problem won't come up...UNLESSSS people decide to invite and 3 guests or something...then i would probably just accomodate to them just to avoid any drama
I thought the same...but find many people dont agree. I just strongly believe everyone deserves a companion. If I am 47 and single...does that mean I never want to have someone to dance with at a wedding? I dont know why I feel so strongly about the date thing....maybe b/c most of my friends have always followed that rule. If you are older than 18...you get a date. Granted...I hope some people dont bring one...but even if they do...they'll likely cover their plate...so i'm not losing in the end anyway.
bluegreen08
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
This is a controversial issue. We're young and the first of our friends to get married. Most of our friends are single (ie: not seeing anyone) and we already knew we'd exceed our minimum (we went over it by more than 30 people) so we decided not to invite anyone 'and guest.' if someone was dating someone, their SO was invited by name. If they were not dating someone, they were invited as a single. we knew our friends would scramble to bring random people as dates, and it would end up adding a good 20-30 people to our guest list. i was also afraid that one friend might bring a girl i don't like as her date (the girl tried to get herself invited, and once you say 'and guest' you dont really have control over who that guest is).
everyone hung out together, mingled and had a great time. our single friends danced with eachother, we had one hookup and another couple 'snuggle' that night. everyone had a great time.
if we were older and the majority of our guests were married or in relationships, i would have felt differently -- in that situation it can be really lonely being the only single person especially at a wedding. if it would have been only a few extras, and the context would have been different, we probably would have invited people with a guest.
DWKSwed
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
Everyone is invited to my wedding with a +1. It ***** regarding the cost, but I feel uncomfortable when I'm invited without a guest, and people adopting the 'will invite +1 if they're in a LTR' may not even know you're in a relationship (this happened with my sister, invited to an out-of-state wedding without a guest, meanwhile she'd started dating someone a couple months earlier and my cousin didn't know, and an awkward conversation was had about it where cousin said of course she can bring him, we just didn't know...) I actually think it's nice when people bring guests, they are on their best behavior, I think it's nice to meet people's significant others or dates and it's a lot more fun for the friend/relative to have someone there with them.
Yankees2323
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
wellll how bout this one!! a friend who i asked to be in the bridal party turns around n tells me the same day i ask her... ohhh yeaaa such and such or such n such is going to be my date im not sure who im taking.... i was like welll i didnt send out invites yet and dont know if u can bring a guest and she tells me well why not u know them both...
and then tells me so yea im taking one of themm
ummmmm did she not hear me the 1st time?
eternitybride
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
For me it would depend on how serious they are. If they have JUST started dating, I would say that unfortunately, there are a lot of people that, while we would like to, we are unable to invite because of space/money, etc.
If they are in a serious relationship, I would add the 'and guest'.
SummerBride10
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
I'm inviting everyone plus guest. Although I dont like the idea of having people at my wedding I dont know- my parents and his parents think we should invite everyone plus a guest because its the formal polite thing to do. Thankfully I wont have to deal with uninvited guests- I hope
MrsL2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
we are inviting everyone over the age of 18 with a +1. fortunately for me, that only leaves about 5 people who are not married/engaged/or in long term relationships
mosh424
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 9/22
I think it all depends on how close i am with this person and if i know they are dating someone.
this past weekend at my e-party a family friend asked if she is gonna get a plus one for the wedding and i said it depends if you are dating someone seriously and if i know them.
