Question about BP

i totally understand your point! when my brother got married, my sister and i weren't put in his bridal party and it kind of hurt our feelings, too. it wasn't worth fighting about so we just dealt with it. for my wedding, my FH put in my brother, which made me really happy. but if your brother isn't going to be in the BP, then could he maybe do a reading or something? that way he still has an important role. just an idea!

**i think i misunderstood and thought this was about your bridal party. i apologize!! you obviously have no control over whether or not he does a reading.

i dont think its a have to type of thing, but i def think that its the nice thing to do (unless of course your siblings are a true {PIA or worse). We put my brother and sister in the BP and FHs step brother in the BP. To me family will always be your family - friends come and go and i'd rather have more family in it than friends.

if my brother and sister were getting married and didnt put me in the BP i would be very hurt too.

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

i told her that too..who cares if the bp is uneven..she won't hear it..telling me its her wedding and thats what they're going to do..i just think its wrong and kind of disrespectful to my family! My fh and I put in every sibling we both had..and we have a total of 5!!!!

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well unfortunetly you are not going to change er mind without sounding like you are telling her how to run her wedding. leave it alone at this point, she will prob regret not having him in one day and your brother will never forget that either. At least your brother knows that you wanted him in your BP.

we are having 8 BP members 6 of them are family 2 are friends.

i have been in my older sisters and older brothers wedding parties. they are 9 plus years older than me and I am having them in my wedding party. I also asked fh to have his sisters in the wedding party. I am not having any friends in. I have seen too many friends come and go. We are having 5 out of 9 nieces in the wedding party and so far 1 out of 2 nephews. I am trying to find something for my nephew to do.

I personally would feel horrible if i was left out .

i agree that siblings should be in the BP. at first my FH didnt realize that he should hae my brother in his....but when i mentioned it to him it actually DID make sense. FH and my brother are actually pretty close to begin with, closer than him and some of his friends anyway. I'm sorry that your sister and FBIL dont see it the same way. Maybe your sister feels caught in the middle with the situation so she is just agreeing with her FH. I would try talking to her again, but if nothing changes...there is probably not much you can do about the situation. the only thing is...she may realize one day and regret it, that would be ashame. is your sister close with your brother? Explain to her that it would be nice to have your brother there for all the BP things like being in the limo, talking photos together, and of course walking down the aisle, etc.

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Posted by Ilovebriani

i agree that siblings should be in the BP. at first my FH didnt realize that he should hae my brother in his....but when i mentioned it to him it actually DID make sense. FH and my brother are actually pretty close to begin with, closer than him and some of his friends anyway. I'm sorry that your sister and FBIL dont see it the same way. Maybe your sister feels caught in the middle with the situation so she is just agreeing with her FH. I would try talking to her again, but if nothing changes...there is probably not much you can do about the situation. the only thing is...she may realize one day and regret it, that would be ashame. is your sister close with your brother? Explain to her that it would be nice to have your brother there for all the BP things like being in the limo, talking photos together, and of course walking down the aisle, etc.

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thanks heather..close? im not sure..she kind of is..but i feel so bad for him..hes taking it bad

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Posted by Bride 2 Be

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Posted by Ilovebriani

i agree that siblings should be in the BP. at first my FH didnt realize that he should hae my brother in his....but when i mentioned it to him it actually DID make sense. FH and my brother are actually pretty close to begin with, closer than him and some of his friends anyway. I'm sorry that your sister and FBIL dont see it the same way. Maybe your sister feels caught in the middle with the situation so she is just agreeing with her FH. I would try talking to her again, but if nothing changes...there is probably not much you can do about the situation. the only thing is...she may realize one day and regret it, that would be ashame. is your sister close with your brother? Explain to her that it would be nice to have your brother there for all the BP things like being in the limo, talking photos together, and of course walking down the aisle, etc.

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thanks heather..close? im not sure..she kind of is..but i feel so bad for him..hes taking it bad

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aww... that makes me sad

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Posted by mrspalomino148

I agree with you kristin that she should have your brother in the BP, I know I would be hurt if I wasn't in my brothers BP when they do get married. Does her FH have any sisters that your sister didn't put in? I dunno, I think that s*cks, because even if your brother and her FH aren't close now they probably will end up close years down the road! .. I really hope she changes her mind

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I hope she changes her mind also..but she gets really pissed everytime someone brings it up..and her fh doesn't have any sisters..he has a sil..that i said she could put in...but she won't!

I asked FH to have my brother in the BP I asked his cousin to be a BM (FH doesnt have a sister) I felt it was important to have his family represented on my side and vice versa. We have an uneven BP (an extra guy/) but I worked it out, for me it is worth it to include family!
long story short you have a right to be upset that your brother isnt included

Awww, this is sad. I feel bad for your brother.
I am only going to add fuel to the fire, but I don't think an uneven BP should keep your brother out. JMO....I have 3 more people then my FH b/c I have my sis, his 2sis and my 2 cousins...and I wanted to make sure I had all family in it and then I also asked my 3 friends so I have 8 and he has 5!

I hope it works out.

I understand...i feel bad for your brother....maybe talk to them and let them know that he is hurt.... my brother is very shy so he told us not to put him in the BP..... he told us that he is there for us but he doesn't like to be in the spot light so we understood...

Talk to them though....maybe they don't realize how much it would mean to him. Good luck

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Posted by little34

I understand...i feel bad for your brother....maybe talk to them and let them know that he is hurt.... my brother is very shy so he told us not to put him in the BP..... he told us that he is there for us but he doesn't like to be in the spot light so we understood...

Talk to them though....maybe they don't realize how much it would mean to him. Good luck

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the thing is ...i don't think they care...

IMO sibblings should be a GIVEN as members of the bridal party. no questions asked. i have seen numerous weddings where the sides were not even, and its sometimes cuter that way.

in fact, my FH and I are including his 2 neices and nephew in the bridal party. his nephew walking with one of his sisters on each arm because our sides are not equal!