question about friends... kind of long...read only if incredibly bored.

here's my dilemma.

Let me preface it by saying we've only been dating 1.5 years, and we're NOT engaged...i repeat... NOT engaged...


So... we hang out with his friends a lot... my friends generally arent around, a.k.a. I dont have many friends to hang around with....I started getting close with them...facebook and everything...

so my boyfriend is now having an aneurysm because they want to hang out with me. They were having a girls day out, and they invited me, and he nearly exploded when I told him I was going.

before this happened, I got a text message from his best friend (one of the girls). saying exactly this... 'my house. pool party. 9 PM.'

he didn't get one of these messages. He got pissed off saying that they were inviting me without inviting him (which is NOT the case at all... before he got his iPhone, he didnt have a texting plan, and he never turned his phone on before 9 PM, so she wasnt sure if he would get the message, or if his phone was even on)... she also figured that she didnt have to text both of us, since we now live together.

He flipped out.

Fast forward to today..

His other friends are here... I don't particularly care for them. We were invited to his other friends house again for another pool party. I want to go...he doesnt because his friends are here. Am I a ***** for saying I want to go, or is he an ******* for saying it's ****** up if i go?

no couples. two guys and then my bf and me. i kind of see his point like its a slap in the face to the friends that are here if i leave them and go and hang out with his other friends.

blah i dunno.

I agree with some of the other posters. This is not a good sign, at least not the way this story presents to someone who doesn't know you two.

I had an ex boyfriend who was extremely controlling and used to flip out on me whenever I talked to any of his friends. He used to tell me how much everyone ***** and basically made me renounce everyone I knew so he'd like me. It was terrible abuse on a very base level. The best choice I ever made was to take my life far, far away from him.

What's going to happen between you and your bf if you go? Is he going to make you feel guilty? Miserable? Break up? Will he just be pissy? Or will he get over it quickly?

Don't sacrifice your own happiness for his warped ideas of what you can and cannot do. You have been together a long time. At this point, your probably share the tube of toothpaste. You share friends too.

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Posted by leeserd

Hmmm, he may have liked the fact that you did not have alot of friends around before because that would make you availabe to him all of the time and he didn't have to worry about you doing anything that he did not like because he was always with you. Its not a coincidence that now that you have more of a social life independent of him that he is not happy for you and is actually being nasty to you. Not a good sign.

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I have to agree with her. This is a MAJOR RED FLAG! He should not flip out on you he should be happy that your gaining some new gf's... My fiance LOVES when I have my gf's over and that I have a life outside of him. I am not solely dependent on him for everything... The same way I love when he has his guy nights and he has guy friends... He even LOVES that his friends wives invite me out for girls nights and vice versa, I invite them for mine too... He thinks its GREAT that I get along so well with his friends wives cause the guys have been friends since they are teenagers and the worst strain on a relationship is to hate your fiance or bf's friends and vice versa...

I think you really need to take a step back and re-evaluate the relationship and see if you notice a pattern =/

Wouldnt he be happy or relieved that you get along really well with his crew of friends? A lot of guy's friends dont like their gfs or whatnot.

I thought most guys like when their GFs bond with their friends or their friend's girlfriends/wives etc.

I think he's blowing it out of proportion and should not at all be pissed that they invited you. Im sure it was an oversight on their part since he doesnt turn his phone on till 9:00.