My friend from college asked me politely if she could bring her cousin to our wedding since they are traveling from California together. I told her frankly that we didn't want to pay for random people at our wedding but understand why she's asking since they are traveling together to NY. I told her I would let her know if cancellations came in - mind you we haven't given final count. My friend originally had no problem with her '1' invite.
Anyway, I JUST found out that 2 of my older relatives will not be making the wedding - they were a maybe because he just had quadruple bypass surgery. So I texted my friend and said it looks like 'we will be able to afford paying for an additional seat at the wedding, send me your cousin's name and I'll add her to the guestlist ' - it wasn't originally about the cost because we have room but we didn't want to just pay for randoms here and there to fill up the room. So she said 'let me know how much her meal costs, I know wedding meals are not cheap, I'll gladly pay for her plate.'
Do you think I should tell her how much it is? or just mention something about keep it in mind when gifting us?
How would you handle that question?
Royalgem21
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
This happened to me once, I was invited to a wedding and I responded without a guest. Then when I started seeing my fiance, I wanted to bring him. It was about 1 week before the wedding. My friend said it wasn't possible because money was tight so I offered to pay for his and my plate in advanced. I gave her in cash what I would have given as her wedding gift. I think I gave like $250 for both of us. This way she would not have to feel like she had to lay out the money to add him. She did not tell me how much it was per plate, I just assumed.
Maybe you can tell this person to just give what they feel they can, and let them decide? More than likely, they will be generous. This way you don't have to give out the information if you don't want to.
halfbaked
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
I wouldn't feel right taking money from my friend to pay for her 'date' whether she was supposed to have one or not. Especially after she was nice enough to offer. Since she's been this curteous so far, I'd just trust her to keep it in mind when she's deciding on what to gift you.
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
Posted by jilliibabii
I wouldn't feel right taking money from my friend to pay for her 'date' whether she was supposed to have one or not. Especially after she was nice enough to offer. Since she's been this curteous so far, I'd just trust her to keep it in mind when she's deciding on what to gift you.
This is kind of my stance. I don't want to give her an amount... but how should I respond to her text. I don't want to ignore it.
bebita0830
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
I'd do the same, I wouldn't tell her how much I'm paying per plate, I'd just feel weird. Just text her saying: 'I'm glad that u're able to bring someone, don't worry about covering her plate, and regarding a wedding gift, u can just give us what's in ur heart' or something in these lines. I'm sure she'll be generous with her gift
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
I wrote back
'I don't want it to seem like I need you to cover the cost, just give what you can, dance and enjoy yourselves!'
bebita0830
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali
I wrote back
'I don't want it to seem like I need you to cover the cost, just give what you can, dance and enjoy yourselves!'
great response
CantWait2Wed
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
No, don't let her pay! That would be really rude, she's a guest and you have the room.
SoonToBeMrsFox
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali
I wrote back
'I don't want it to seem like I need you to cover the cost, just give what you can, dance and enjoy yourselves!'
i think you handled it well.
IrishAli
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
I think you did the right thing!
RandEWedding2011
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Re: Question about guest that I don't know
Posted by SoonToBeMrsFox
Posted by SoonToBeMrsCali
I wrote back
'I don't want it to seem like I need you to cover the cost, just give what you can, dance and enjoy yourselves!'
