Question about tipping

I recently asked an old coworker of mine what the standard rate for tipping was for vendors the day of the wedding , and she told me that she tipped some, but not all. Both her cousin and sister have done the same for their weddings too. I always thought if you're happy with a service someone provides you, you typically tip between 15-20%. However, she reasoned that since she provided them with their meals, and payed for their services that she didn't need to tip, or would only tip them a minimal amount. She advised me to do the same, or get them a small gift and a thank you card.

I'm curious as to what you ladies think? Is what she suggesting common practice nowadays? Or is tipping everyone 20% for their services overkill, and should I tip some and give others a gift? I was gonna tip everyone 20% if they provided great service, but now she kind of threw me for a loop.

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

my mom tried to tell me that too, some ladies will tell u if u got the owner u don't have to tip.... Which I'm sorry isn't right, either one!
I think u most definitely should tip each and every onr of your vendors! ( if your pleased!)
I was surprised to read in my church booklet..... we should tip the alter boy/girl???? seriously??? as if weddings aren't expensive enough.
the only tip I'm not sure about is trails? do u tip hair and make up artist for a trial?

Re: Question about tipping

1st and foremost, tip on the service and what you can afford. I don't think you need to tip 20% (especially for owners). If you are feeding some vendors, take this into account, but most vendors prefer cash and not food. They can eat at the cocktail hour for free (just let the vendors know when you finalize everything).

Your photographer/videographer vendors will be with your 10+ hours, so a meal and tip are usually given. I tipped owners, but not as much as their employees. For my DJ, he ate at cocktail hour since he was there about 5 hours.

For alter servers, they are young kids volunteering so a tip is nice. They are giving up part of there day so I do believe they should earn some money.

Re: Question about tipping

Here is a link I previously saw on LIW. I also read somewhere that you will need $1000 just for tips the day of.
I used it as a guide and in some areas tipped more or less.

Actual
Matre De $4 pp
Bridal Attendant $150
Visiting Priest $100 donation to charity (plus $600 for church fee)
Altar Boys $20pp
Organist $20pp
Singer $20pp
Violinist $20pp
Flower Delivery (RH) $30
Flower Delivery (Hotel) $20
Photographer $100
Photographer Asst $100
Videographer $100
Limo town car $40 (16% of bill)
Limo Infiniti $120 (16% of bill)
Limo Rolls Royce $60 (16% of bill)
Limo Drop Off @ end night $20
Hotel Shuttle Gratuity included in price
Photobooth Attendant $75
DJ & MC $100 each
Zap Photos $75
DJ Lighting Tech $20
DOC $150 each
Hair 25% final bill
Makeup 25% final bill

Average
Matre De $3-5 pp
Bridal Attendant $100-$150
Altar Boys $10-$15pp
Organist $15-25pp
Singer $15-25pp
Violinist $15-25pp
Flower Delivery $10pp
Photographer $100-$150
Photographer Asst $50-$100
Videographer $100-$150
Limo town car 15-20% of bill
Limo Infiniti 15-20% of bill
Limo Rolls Royce 15-20% of bill
Limo Drop Off @ end night 15-20% of bill
Photobooth Attendant $50-$100
DJ & MC $75-100pp
Zap Photos $50-$100
Lighting Tech $20
DOC $100 each
Hair 20% final bill
Makeup 20% final bil

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

I had an argument with my family about this the other day. They think it's crazy to tip the owner of a company. I told them what I had read in here. Then I asked some friends and they agreed. If the vendor is the owner (and not hired help) then they shouldn't be tipped bc they are getting all the money. They don't have to pay out to their employees and most fees ( i.e. travel) are included in the price. I dunno now I'm confused.

Re: Question about tipping

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Posted by sandr325

1st and foremost, tip on the service and what you can afford. I don't think you need to tip 20% (especially for owners). If you are feeding some vendors, take this into account, but most vendors prefer cash and not food. They can eat at the cocktail hour for free (just let the vendors know when you finalize everything).

Your photographer/videographer vendors will be with your 10+ hours, so a meal and tip are usually given. I tipped owners, but not as much as their employees. For my DJ, he ate at cocktail hour since he was there about 5 hours.

For alter servers, they are young kids volunteering so a tip is nice. They are giving up part of there day so I do believe they should earn some money.

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I always like your advice!

I was all for tip everyone they deserve it! Until I went through and calculated just how much that will cost me. Giving the bare minimum to everyone will be over $1000. I still will tip everyone, because I feel its right, but I am doing what I think is reasonable. If you are an owner, you will get less than your employees. I don't think I will be giving quite 20% to anyone...at these prices, 20% is a lot! As far as alter boys, they are kids, so I feel like $15/$20 will make their day. It is volunteer so there is no expectation of money, so its like you are treating them to a movie..I would have loved that at that age!

One concern I have is the tip in the contract vendors. First of all, I love this because it makes everything easier. However, my concern is that not tipping additional looks cheap. Are you supposed to tip additional? The only vendor that does this for me is my limo company. Am I supposed to get out at the end of the night and say k thanks bye! So I am worried that the tip-in-the-contract is really a scam to get more tips. Anyone has experience with this??

Re: Question about tipping

I'm confused about that one issue too. I plan on tipping the maitre d the customary $3-5 per person, my bridal assistant $150-200, and the 2 DJ's $75-100 each. I just don't know what to do about our photographer, though. He is the owner - and isn't sharing the $$ with anybody. For years, I have heard that if someone providing a service is the owner (whether it be a photographer, your hair dresser, etc), then you don't tip.
Does this not apply for wedding vendors?
And, with regards to our officiant - the fee that she is charging ($600) - am I to assume that is a donation for the church? Are we supposed to tip the minister?? What are you all doing for a reverend doing your ceremony off site?

Re: Question about tipping

I actually just found this at The Knot - regarding photographers/videographers....

Wedding Photographer/Videographer
You're not expected to give your shutterbugs any dough beyond their normal fees. Yet if the wedding photographer or videographer doesn't own the studio, consider tipping each person (or give a certain amount with a thank-you note to disperse to staff).
Protocol: Optional
The $tandard: $50 - $200 per vendor
When to Tip: At the end of the reception.

Since our photographer is the owner, maybe a smaller tip of $50?

Re: Question about tipping

Thanks for that tip list!! Very helpful.

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

I can see what you ladies are saying. I was so confused since everyone I know has their own opinions on who to tip, who not to, and how much. I thought I'd just go the safe route and tip how I usually tip if I'm at a salon or restaurant, etc. But now that I added everything up, and realized how much we're paying our photographer (owner), and his 2nd shooter, their tip will easily equal 1000!

From what I'm seeing, everyone has an opinion on this topic. I think at this point its all relative, and I'm just going to tip what's fair, and what I see fits. Like for the photographer, who's the owner, I'll probably give him a 100 simply bc he'll be with us for 11 hrs/coming from the city, and his 2nd shooter 125, plus their meals. :/ I'll probably apply that same rule to my videographer, who is also the owner.

For our officiant, he charges 750 for a 30 min ceremony. I don't even know what to give him *sigh*

Re: Question about tipping

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Posted by Jocelyn1977

I'm confused about that one issue too. I plan on tipping the maitre d the customary $3-5 per person, my bridal assistant $150-200, and the 2 DJ's $75-100 each. I just don't know what to do about our photographer, though. He is the owner - and isn't sharing the $$ with anybody. For years, I have heard that if someone providing a service is the owner (whether it be a photographer, your hair dresser, etc), then you don't tip.
Does this not apply for wedding vendors?
And, with regards to our officiant - the fee that she is charging ($600) - am I to assume that is a donation for the church? Are we supposed to tip the minister?? What are you all doing for a reverend doing your ceremony off site?

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I'm thinking we'd tip our rabbi maybe an extra $50-75 since we're paying him $750, and he's coming from jersey. I honestly don't think he deserves more than that since he doesn't have his own congregation, and is keeping all the money he makes from us. Perhaps you can base it on her travel/how well you think she performed you're ceremony.

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

I dunno. I am SO not a cheap person, but I feel like all this tipping is getting out of control. I mean, tipping hair and make-up I get, but at the same time, they are tacking on a lot of money to come to me. In my case, compared to my trial prices, I'm being charged $85 more for day of services. It's hard to justify tipping someone who owns their company. I go to work everyday and don't get tipped, lol. If I follow that tipping list I'd be spending like 2 grand in tips. That's just crazy to me. My videographer is an independent guy who owns his company, and we're paying him a small fortune. I can see giving something extra to his camera assistants but tipping him too, along with the 50 other people to tip, is just getting crazy. Sorry for the rant... we just mailed a ton of checks out today and my account is depleting as we speak :(

Re: Question about tipping

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Posted by Gambigoo

I dunno. I am SO not a cheap person, but I feel like all this tipping is getting out of control. I mean, tipping hair and make-up I get, but at the same time, they are tacking on a lot of money to come to me. In my case, compared to my trial prices, I'm being charged $85 more for day of services. It's hard to justify tipping someone who owns their company. I go to work everyday and don't get tipped, lol. If I follow that tipping list I'd be spending like 2 grand in tips. That's just crazy to me. My videographer is an independent guy who owns his company, and we're paying him a small fortune. I can see giving something extra to his camera assistants but tipping him too, along with the 50 other people to tip, is just getting crazy. Sorry for the rant... we just mailed a ton of checks out today and my account is depleting as we speak :(

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my FH and I were just discussing this very topic because we want to know what is expected. He was saying how much easier it would be if the tip was built into the price. Unfortunatel, that's not how it works but it would sure cause less headaches.

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

Thanks for the list but I officially have a headache haha I have a friend that's a photographer that works with a big company and he said that he never expects a tip and doesn't always get one but he's not in NY anymore so maybe that's why??

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

This was really helpful!

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

We were talking about this last night. In the end, we'd be spending over $2000 just in tips. It adds so much money to what you think you're spending. Ahhh!!!

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

This thread just made my head spin! I can't believe how much goes into tipping vendors! I'm glad I'm reading it now so I can add it into my budget in advance. As for advice, while I'm not even close to this point yet, I'd say tip what you can afford based on these lists and how satisfied you are with their service. I get my hair done by a stylist who owns the business and never tip her for a haircut because she's not using any product and it's all going directly in her pocket. Same goes for any vendor that's the owner.

Re: Question about tipping

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Posted by rcotter90

This thread just made my head spin! I can't believe how much goes into tipping vendors! I'm glad I'm reading it now so I can add it into my budget in advance. As for advice, while I'm not even close to this point yet, I'd say tip what you can afford based on these lists and how satisfied you are with their service. I get my hair done by a stylist who owns the business and never tip her for a haircut because she's not using any product and it's all going directly in her pocket. Same goes for any vendor that's the owner.

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totally! i WISH i knew to budget for it!

Question about tipping - Long Island Weddings

Thanks for asking msj288 and thanks sandr325 for the list. I was just asking a co-worker about this the other day in regards to the limo driver. At least now I have an idea of how much to have ready for the day of.

Re: Question about tipping

There are just so many opinions out there...and tipping 'cheat sheets' that contradict one another! I think after all the said and done - and after all the advise I have gotten here and read online - this is what we plan to do....

$4pp to the maitre d' (Fox Hollow suggests $3-5 pp)
$150 to the bridal attendant
20% of the total bill to the makeup artist
My usual 20% to my hairdresser (I'm going to her morning of)
$150 each to the DJ and the MC (which works out to around 15% of the bill)
Only $100-150 to our photographer. It doesn't work out to 20%, but he is the sole owner of his business and isn't bringing an assistant, so the entire payment is going to him.
With regards to our officiant - who is a reverend at a church in Garden City...we are already paying $600 for her services. I'm still a bit confused on what is expected. Do you really 'tip' a reverend? Is that expected - or, god forbid, offensive? We may just donate another $100 to a charity she likes. I think I'm going to call the church office and get an opinion and find out whats customary.

Thats about $1250 in tips! Geesh.