Does it get any better? Do you get used to it? I hate being alone on the weekend and going and doing things by myself all the time.
FI is a cop in Queens. He's working more now because of the convention but even before that I didnt get to see him that much. And his schedule is different so Im going to bed and he's just walking in the door wide awake and ready to hang out. I know how much he loves his job but I didnt realize how much it was going to bother me. Anyone have any advise, suggestions, anything?
keric
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
we are in the exact same boat. I hate that the convention is here. They couldn't have it in some dinky texas town!!!!! Every time I hear something on the news I freeze up.
I am just starting out in this life, and I hate it already. I hate going out with friends and it ends up being couples and me. Its so depressing.
get a dog . thats what I did.
MsKitty1274
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
Posted by keric
we are in the exact same boat. I hate that the convention is here. They couldn't have it in some dinky texas town!!!!! Every time I hear something on the news I freeze up.
I am just starting out in this life, and I hate it already. I hate going out with friends and it ends up being couples and me. Its so depressing.
get a dog . thats what I did.
I hear that! I am not new to it, but it sucks having to drag friends to do things that FH should be doing, wedding and not wedding related. I feel like I need to make an appt with FH. Actually, I did. I had to take a day off of work so we could meet with the Monsignor at church and another day to go to halls!! UGH!
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
dh came home from the convention at 8:15 after leaving the house this am at 315am. he gulped down dinner and fell asleep. i feel so bad for him working all those long hours. i also miss chatting with him in the evenings we havent had quality time since last friday
MsKitty1274
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
I know! I talked to FH on the phone yesterday at 11am, he was en route to Manhattan (for convention), then he called at 1:45am on the way home. Same thing today, but have not got the 'I'm on the way home' call. It's tough too b/c we don't live together. I think we'll have a BETTER sex life after marriage b/c we'll be living together
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
it feels good knowing that there are others out there knowing what im going through. my friends just dont understand. yesterday i was thankful that my dh was home when i heard that a cop was rushed to the hospital otherwise i would have panicked. i think just like police officers have a brotherhood the wives and girlfriends and fiances have a sisterhood
MsKitty1274
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
Posted by janwinterbridejoy
it feels good knowing that there are others out there knowing what im going through. my friends just dont understand. yesterday i was thankful that my dh was home when i heard that a cop was rushed to the hospital otherwise i would have panicked. i think just like police officers have a brotherhood the wives and girlfriends and fiances have a sisterhood
Yes we do!!!
halloweenbride04
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
FH is in the Nassau academy right now and doesn't graduate until February. I'm already sacrificing so much, honeymoon, rehearsal dinner, even just being with him the morning after ou wedding. I feel like our wedding will be so anti-climatic and it makes me so sad since I've dreamed of this day for my whole life. I know I won't be able to always count on him being with me on holidays and that makes me sad too. I'm glad I won't be alone either!!
litlone555
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
It really is comforting to know that there are other people that are doing this too and that there are other people who are making it work. Its so hard doing things alone. I have like 1 single friend to do stuff w/ other than that Im w/ all couples too. And other people dont get it either! Before I was at Blockbuster to get a movie, because Im so bored, and one of the BM called and she says 'your going to watch a movie by yourself?' Im like yeah I do everything by myself now. She didnt mean too but she made me feel even more alone. Holidays have to be really hard. I cant picture spending Xmas alone .
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
Posted by halloweenbride04
FH is in the Nassau academy right now and doesn't graduate until February. I'm already sacrificing so much, honeymoon, rehearsal dinner, even just being with him the morning after ou wedding. I feel like our wedding will be so anti-climatic and it makes me so sad since I've dreamed of this day for my whole life. I know I won't be able to always count on him being with me on holidays and that makes me sad too. I'm glad I won't be alone either!!
if you need to talk im here . hang in there its worth it in the end if your dh comes home from work loving what he is doing. also nassau money wont hurt
litlone555
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
Nassau money would definetly help! They do really good but we still miss them all the same! Its true though, they do love what they do. I cant imagine him doing anything else. I think cops are a different bread of peopel they are just ment to do that job and what would we do with out them.
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
Posted by litlone555
It really is comforting to know that there are other people that are doing this too and that there are other people who are making it work. Its so hard doing things alone. I have like 1 single friend to do stuff w/ other than that Im w/ all couples too. And other people dont get it either! Before I was at Blockbuster to get a movie, because Im so bored, and one of the BM called and she says 'your going to watch a movie by yourself?' Im like yeah I do everything by myself now. She didnt mean too but she made me feel even more alone. Holidays have to be really hard. I cant picture spending Xmas alone .
you wont have to spend every xmas alone sometimes you will get lucky and the rotation of the days off will fall in your favor or your fh or dh will be lucky enough to have senority in the squad and can even pick that day off. this is the first time in 4 years i will get to spend xmas and xmas eve with anthony he will be on vacation. hang in there
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
i once heard someone say it takes an amazing man to be a cop and even more amazing woman to be his wife
litlone555
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
Posted by janwinterbridejoy
i once heard someone say it takes an amazing man to be a cop and even more amazing woman to be his wife
I Love that quote!!! Thats going to be my new modo, Thanks!
bluetank
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
FH works at the 102-he says he knows a lot of people at the 106, a few at 103. It is very hard. I jsut try to keep busy-get hobbies. Or else you are depressed all the time.
MrsNYPDsGirl
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
Hi Girls! I never knew there were so many of us on LIW! This week has been really hard... FH is working from midnight - noon at the convention, and add like 2 hours before and after that tour because of his commute in!!! He's been working in Brooklyn for almost 5 years, so you would think I'd be used to this by now, but I don't know if I am ever really going to be 'used' to it...
Gina674, your words of advice really helped me! Sometimes I find myself complaining to him about having to do things by myself, never really stopping to see his side of things.
I have been doing almost all of our wedding planning by myself! I booked our hall, photographer and band alone! The one thing that I found very depressing was going to all of the showcases alone... There are all these happy couples around, together, and all you want to do is cry because your FH is at work (or sleeping because he has to be at work in 3 hours)! So I would definintely recruit someone to go with you - maybe another engaged friend or family member.
Well, good luck to all of you with all of your planning!!! - and I LOVE that quote!
Ladybug63
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
I totally agree with all of you! It's hard that no one understands how hard it really is.
The long hours, sleeping alone, not hearing from them for hours and worrying something happened. My FH was involved in something pretty intence last September and now if I wake up and theres no message from him, I freak out. I'm just lucky that I have a lot of family here.
Last Christmas we didn't get a chance to exchange gifts with each other until after New Years!
It takes a certain kind of person to be a cop and it takes a special kind of person to be there spouse!
You all deserve some credit! Much love to you all!
mikeysgirl
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
FH came home from work last night at 5:30pm and woke up at 2:30 am to go back to work. Needless to say we had dinner together and he went to bed. I sat and watched T.V. by myself until I fell asleep. The conventionis over tomorrow YYYYAAAAAHHHHH! And FH is off on Friday! Girls if anyon eis lonely FM me we can talk,
litlone555
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
FI got home at 5 am and I left for work at 9 amand he was still sleeping. Poor guy is so tierd. I wont see him again until those few seconds I wake up at 5 am when he gets home again. I cant wait until this is over!
gina674
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
WOW!!! There are a lot of us on this board!!! I hope everyone & their loved ones are okay, especially after all those arrests yesturday...
Blessings to all.... This Convention is almost over!!!
bluetank
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Re: Question for all Cops wives or future wives
yes the convention is almost over. FH got home at almost 2 yesterday and he elft for work at 11. This sucks so bad. It takes a lot of getting used to. I get pissed off a lot but i try not to take it out on him because i know he would rather be at home with me. The best thing we did was move in together last year. It makes both of our lives a lot easier and we get to see each other more.
