Question for all Cops wives or future wives

Does it get any better? Do you get used to it? I hate being alone on the weekend and going and doing things by myself all the time.

FI is a cop in Queens. He's working more now because of the convention but even before that I didnt get to see him that much. And his schedule is different so Im going to bed and he's just walking in the door wide awake and ready to hang out. I know how much he loves his job but I didnt realize how much it was going to bother me. Anyone have any advise, suggestions, anything?

My FI is a paramedic & I completely sympathise. Like it's not enough that we have the Republican Convention - there's the USOpen as well. I leave for work at 7:30 - he gets home at 8 & then I get home by 6:30 & he leaves at 9...yup he works the weekends and 3 day shifts a week so I never see him...

I keep hearing from his boss that it gets better when your kids hit high school - I didn't find it comforting. It's a crazy schedule for anyone in civil service and all people keep saying is the schedule only gets better with the more years you have on the job & the more promotions you get.

FM if you ever need to talk

Ok, where do I begin?

I have lived with FI for over 4 years while he worked for Lucent Tech, then was laid off and I had him home for 10 months. It was the best. Then it went from seeing him 24/7 to practically never. He is a NYC cop.

My personality does NOT allow me to enjoy peace and quiet. I love people around all the time and especially the man I love.

It is very hard and it does get a little easier, you have no choice but to get used to it. But the bad part is, if he is still a 'rookie', just when you get used to a certain tour, it changes.

My advice??? I have none. I am still trying to figure out how to let myself get depressed and angry. But find a hobby, read a book, watch movies, hang out with friends, (get a dog - I did that) or come on LIW

Its very hard but we are women who are strong and I know that no matter how much I miss him, I would miss him more if I turned my back on him forever b/c of his career.

My Fh is also NYPD in a Queens. He works all the time and when days off roll around he is normally working overtime . But I 'lucked' out in being that when we met he worked in the Catering Buisness so I saw him less than I do know. I see him more now than I ever had in our 3 1/2 years together. Although he still works a lot He is a much happier person.

My situation is different, but I still have lot of alone time, I just read and watch television and work.

My finance is a cop in Brooklyn and yes, it does suck that I haven't seen him since Thurs nite,which was for about 1hr. I dont think I will see him come this weekend FI's normal schedule is 6pm-2am so, I hear ya on the schedules being off. You do get used to it, so far I have. Its been only 3yrs that he is on the force too.
Since we aren't married or living together yet it does make it easier for me to be able to go home and hang out with my family or stay at his house and hang out with his(his sister and I are close). I look at it sometimes as space to see the friends that I haven't talk to or seen in a bit. We all know that your friends tend to drift away due to marriages & of course our busy lives. Maybe take advantage of that and the free time. I know it dosen't replace your honey but keeps you busy.
It does get better......look at the vacation time he gets & personal days that he collects.Those add up and he has to use them. Then 20yrs he retires and he is all yours!

Well, it doesn't get any easier... I'm a Police Officer in the city, and my FH works in auto parts. I work midnights, I leave the house at about 10:30pm and get home about 8:45am. On the weekends I get home about 8:15am. Dave, my FH and I have been together for 7 years now, and he knew this is what I wanted to do when I was in school. He was my biggest supporter. When 9/11 happened I work a month straight with I think 3 days off if that, and I didn't get to see him unless he met me by the car when i was leaving. When I got to my command in Queens, I flip flopped 8*4 & 4*12 for 5 months, then went to steady midnights with rotating days off. When I come home in the morning I sleep and wake up just before Dave gets home. We make dinner together, catch up, and then I leave again at 10:30....

I keep thinking I should do day tours to see him more, but the traffic sucks and I am a zombie when I get home. If I did 4*12's I just would never see him, but I would get to sleep with him.... No, I don't get to sleep with my Fiance 7 days a week. I'm lucky if I get two.... and thats just sharing the same bed!

This job never gets any easier, but you having to be willing to make MANY sacrifices!!! I don't sleep much, maybe 4-5 hours a day, just so I could spend time with him. Even now w/ this convention, I have worked over 40 hours in 3 days, not including traveling back and forth.

Getting days off.... HA! Thats funny Especially since every command is soooo low on man power, you have to go sick to get a day off!

Ladies...... Long story short ( I know it's long) being female and coming from a dissapproving family, except for Dave, I love what I do, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I know the lonliness from the other side. I sit in a car with no a/c all night wishing I was with the person I love, but instead I'm dealing with some Psycho, OR I'm talking someone out of killing themselves.

Being supportive is the best thing you can do. You, our loved ones, are what keep us going.. We look forward to coming home to you after a long day of driving around, dealing with disputes and car accidents and in the MOST uncmfortable uniform ever.. Polyester & Kevlar, just what a woman loves to wear everyday!!! As much as you want to see us, as do we want to see you. Tours change, plans change, but in time some get lucky and have steady working days and steady RDO's (regular days off). But, please don't give up, we feel the same way!!!

If anyone wants to talk, just FM me, I'm always here to help...

My fiance is in the academy now. This is actually his second time there. We have been together for 4 years and met while he was a Cadet. I haen't known it any other way. He loves it so much; sometimes I don't understand it. I last saw him a week ago this past Sunday. Hopefully I will see him this weekend. He is at the academy at nights and I work days so it pretty much stinks.

As much as I can't stand it, it is a part of his personality to love it so much and I would never want to change it.

At least my time now is occupied with planning. I spend time with my family or friends. I think its just something I have to get used to. I am excited for his graduation so I can become friendly with the fellow cops wives. Its nice to know there are others here I can relate to!

My FH works in Queens too (where do your guys work?). I have a bit of an advantage, I used to be a cop too, so I understand the O/T and crazy schedules. It was rough, especially when I was unemployed for 7 months, then went back to work F/T. Right now, we work opposite shift, so we only see each other on Sundays and Monday nights (he has steady days off). It's hard, but it really makes me appreciate the time we have together. We actually met in the academy, so we have been dealing with this 'wonderful' job our entire relationship. If any of you girls have ANY questions, or have difficulties dealing with their job, let me know, I am always here to lend an ear!!

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Posted by mikeysgirl

Jamaica, you?

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I'm in the 107, right next to the 103!!!

Maybe you know each other

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Posted by mikeysgirl

Jamaica, you?

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I used to work in the 101 (Far Rockaway)
FH works 104 (Maspeth, Glendale, Ridgewood area)

My FI is in the 103. He loves his job so much and I am so proud of him but I cant help but think sometimes that Im sacrifising being happy, because Im alone all the time, just so he can be happy with his job. And maybe that sounds selfish but we have already been through 4 years of him in the military and now I have 20 year atleast of this to deal with. The situation is pretty new still maybe I just have to suck it up and get used to it.

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Posted by litlone555

My FI is in the 103. He loves his job so much and I am so proud of him but I cant help but think sometimes that Im sacrifising being happy, because Im alone all the time, just so he can be happy with his job. And maybe that sounds selfish but we have already been through 4 years of him in the military and now I have 20 year atleast of this to deal with. The situation is pretty new still maybe I just have to suck it up and get used to it.

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My FH is also in the 103.

My FH currently works 4 days on 4 days off from 7pm to 5am.

That being said, Nassau is so short on cops that his last day off was August 17th and before that August 3rd.

2 Days so far in the month of August he's had off.

He also never gets off at 5am.
I saw him Sunday until he left for work at 6pm and I haven't seen him since due to our opposite schedules.

I figure I will see him on Thursday night!

We spend a lot of time on the phone and leave each other notes.We've lived together for 3 years now.

I'm used to it. It gives me a chance to go out with my friends and spend time with my family.
I also get some 'me' time at home.

The hardest parts for me are going to bed alone. Some nights he'll be there some nights he wont.

&

Him missing out on everything. Party's and Holidays always seem to fall on days he works. All day everyone's like where's your FH? WORK, where else!

I'm not sure if it ever gets easier I think you just get used to it!

i think that it is something that you do get used to. although im luckier then most because my dh is a cop in brooklyn and works days so for now we get to see each other at night. the weekends that i spend alone and the holidays we miss are a little tougher to deal with but i learned that a holiday can be celebrated anytime and the thing that makes holidays most special is spending it with your love ones so it shouldnt matter if you celebrate the holidays a little earlier or later some years as long as you do. i really cant complain because my dh really enjoys his job he use to in accounting and wasnt at all happy. he is actually happy when he comes home from work i wish i can say the same thing sometimes.


the convention has been a little difficult because he is working 4am and gets home at like 730pm and goes straight to sleep but it wont last forever and you have to admit although taxes kill you the extra money comes in handy. hugs to all the wives and fiances of police officers and police woman and there fiances and husbands

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Posted by Bride2005

my fh is in queens too- 106

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I live 2 blocks from the 106! As I said b4 FH works in 104

LitlOne555 our FHs went through the academy together and are really good friends at work . And you are on my guest list for the wedding .

We shoukld get together and spend time with each other while they are together .

WOW! I am so surprised to hear everyone writing my thoughts! My FH is currently in the State Trooper Academy in Albany. Its a 6 month academy and he gets to come home on weekends.. We lived together for three years now and it is really hard without him here... but all the wedding plans keep me going and remind me that what we are going through now is for a great future!!!