What is your worst fear that could happen and ruin your relationship/marrage with FH?
Espo22
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by yelley77
Posted by Espo22
Posted by cbcf
Posted by Espo22
Posted by MPAS
Posted by Espo22
that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)
I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd
NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting
denise i dont know if i am being to personal by saying this and if i am just let me know i dont want to hit anyones sore spot or offend anyone...but i dont get what you mean by not having any fight in you anymore...i mean yes i understand you have to work at relationships at times and for some people it is definitely more than others...but do you mean personally in your life there is something that makes you and fh have to fight to stay together? or do you mean in general like i stated before? cause i see people saying they understand what oyu mean and i don't so i was just curious...
but again you dont have to answer this if it is too personal or for any reason you choose....just curious and i am sure you will be able to fight for what you love!!!
its ok ive said it on here before and FH tells everybody so its not a secret but he is manic depressive. If you know anybody who is then its alot easier to understand what i am saying. But they are at battle with themselves, their mind can go far off and you need to pull them back sometimes bc they can get into a manic stage and just want to be destructive, or depressed and you have to be there for them and help them through it. There are times they want to push away every single person in their life and close themselves off from everyone.
yes everyone has to fight sorry if people got confused. I just meant that this is not a situation some would like to be in and it would be hard to handle, you would have to hear things you dont want to hear, to be their strength and your own and go through the ups and downs
now you make even more sense. We are dealing with this with my grammy. She has severe depression. When she slips in, it is hard to pull her out and if it weren't for my grandpa, i don't know if she'd still be alive today. so i get ya
yeah sorry i didnt think i was going to cause confusion lol...i answered it to answer but thought it would be something someone just reads over it and moves on hahaha lol.
well luckily she has your grandfather who loves her unconditionally and gives her the strength
snwb08
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by Espo22
Posted by cbcf
Posted by Espo22
Posted by MPAS
Posted by Espo22
that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)
I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd
NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting
denise i dont know if i am being to personal by saying this and if i am just let me know i dont want to hit anyones sore spot or offend anyone...but i dont get what you mean by not having any fight in you anymore...i mean yes i understand you have to work at relationships at times and for some people it is definitely more than others...but do you mean personally in your life there is something that makes you and fh have to fight to stay together? or do you mean in general like i stated before? cause i see people saying they understand what oyu mean and i don't so i was just curious...
but again you dont have to answer this if it is too personal or for any reason you choose....just curious and i am sure you will be able to fight for what you love!!!
its ok ive said it on here before and FH tells everybody so its not a secret but he is manic depressive. If you know anybody who is then its alot easier to understand what i am saying. But they are at battle with themselves, their mind can go far off and you need to pull them back sometimes bc they can get into a manic stage and just want to be destructive, or depressed and you have to be there for them and help them through it. There are times they want to push away every single person in their life and close themselves off from everyone.
yes everyone has to fight sorry if people got confused. I just meant that this is not a situation some would like to be in and it would be hard to handle, you would have to hear things you dont want to hear, to be their strength and your own and go through the ups and downs
see my other post
Bellez95
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Fighting we like to argue and have learned how to control it and take some steps back but i fear one day one of us will just take it to far.
Espo22
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Member since
Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by snwb08
Posted by Espo22
Posted by snwb08
Posted by Espo22
Posted by MPAS
Posted by Espo22
that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)
I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd
NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting
i know what you mean - that's kind of along the lines of what i was trying to say - like giving up in a sense... you articulated it better though
i also have a fear about what you said but for me it was a bit differently. For example if i gave up today then the relationship would be over as soon as I did that bc i wouldn't be able to handle FH or more like i wouldn't want to deal with that. For me he is worth the fight, so there are times i have to help him fight for himself, help fight for us bc depending what battle is going on in his head that day it can close him off, and then i also have to fight for myself
maybe it's a bad analogy, but you saying this totally reminds me of my parents. my mom had (has) issues b/c she is manic depressive; my dad saw signs before they got married but back then no one understood it. two weeks after they were married she had an 'episode' one night and he freaked out and went to his parents. My grandfather told him to go right back to his wife, that he was married for better or for worse no matter what, and it's his job to take care of her. and he did, and he's been fighting ever since - it was hard for us all growing up but 42 years later they are still married b/c he never gave up on her. it's hard and maybe he has his moments of weakness, but he never gives up.
My dad is my idol and busted his *** to take care of my mom and his four girls. that's what i think of when i think of fighting for our marriage/relationships. we can do anything as long as we work hard enough; it's not going to be easy but people don't try as hard as they used to and i'm hoping i learned from him and will never give up when things get hard.
thats how i feel too, it is for better or worse. Its funny because i think fh is so sensitive, sweet caring and has that innocence about him (AT TIMES LOL) bc of what he goes through so there are pros and cons to this, he thinks its funny i see any positive in this but its true. I do have moments where i am tired and have my weaknesses and maybe for a day or a few hours i cant handle it lol but ill always come back with even more determination.
You have an amazing dad and i can see why he is your idol, you should be proud of how hard he has fought for all of you. Its not easy and i think bc i always saw it as life is not perfect, there can be worst things going on and getting through the battle is what makes us stronger and closer
RKellner
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Him becoming like his father... That would be worse than cheating or hitting to me....
yelley77
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Member since
Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by Espo22
Posted by yelley77
Posted by Espo22
Posted by cbcf
Posted by Espo22
Posted by MPAS
Posted by Espo22
that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)
I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd
NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting
denise i dont know if i am being to personal by saying this and if i am just let me know i dont want to hit anyones sore spot or offend anyone...but i dont get what you mean by not having any fight in you anymore...i mean yes i understand you have to work at relationships at times and for some people it is definitely more than others...but do you mean personally in your life there is something that makes you and fh have to fight to stay together? or do you mean in general like i stated before? cause i see people saying they understand what oyu mean and i don't so i was just curious...
but again you dont have to answer this if it is too personal or for any reason you choose....just curious and i am sure you will be able to fight for what you love!!!
its ok ive said it on here before and FH tells everybody so its not a secret but he is manic depressive. If you know anybody who is then its alot easier to understand what i am saying. But they are at battle with themselves, their mind can go far off and you need to pull them back sometimes bc they can get into a manic stage and just want to be destructive, or depressed and you have to be there for them and help them through it. There are times they want to push away every single person in their life and close themselves off from everyone.
yes everyone has to fight sorry if people got confused. I just meant that this is not a situation some would like to be in and it would be hard to handle, you would have to hear things you dont want to hear, to be their strength and your own and go through the ups and downs
now you make even more sense. We are dealing with this with my grammy. She has severe depression. When she slips in, it is hard to pull her out and if it weren't for my grandpa, i don't know if she'd still be alive today. so i get ya
yeah sorry i didnt think i was going to cause confusion lol...i answered it to answer but thought it would be something someone just reads over it and moves on hahaha lol.
well luckily she has your grandfather who loves her unconditionally and gives her the strength
and the same for you. joe is lucky to have someone that cares about him so much that will fight to keep him well. He is just as lucky as my grandma!!!
snwb08
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by Espo22
Posted by snwb08
Posted by Espo22
thats how i feel too, it is for better or worse. Its funny because i think fh is so sensitive, sweet caring and has that innocence about him (AT TIMES LOL) bc of what he goes through so there are pros and cons to this, he thinks its funny i see any positive in this but its true. I do have moments where i am tired and have my weaknesses and maybe for a day or a few hours i cant handle it lol but ill always come back with even more determination.
You have an amazing dad and i can see why he is your idol, you should be proud of how hard he has fought for all of you. Its not easy and i think bc i always saw it as life is not perfect, there can be worst things going on and getting through the battle is what makes us stronger and closer
that's my mom too - she is totally naive and innocent. it was really rough on us as kids but now we are all just grateful that she is okay - it never goes away but it definitely is so much better with her medicine etc... she'll still space out during big events where she is overwhelmed, but i'm just glad she's there and she's so sweet and helpful and enthusiastic.
you have a really good attitude. it will be hard a lot but in the end it's worth it. a few years ago when my mom cracked a joke at him my dad turned to me and said - see, that's the woman i fell in love with, and 40 years later, i still love her like i did then. that's what it's all about, I think.
what doesn't kill us makes us stronger
Espo22
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by yelley77
and the same for you. joe is lucky to have someone that cares about him so much that will fight to keep him well. He is just as lucky as my grandma!!!
tHANK YOU
ant n tilde
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by Espo22
Posted by yelley77
and the same for you. joe is lucky to have someone that cares about him so much that will fight to keep him well. He is just as lucky as my grandma!!!
tHANK YOU
denise you are one of the strongest women i know!!!
ant n tilde
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
also - this isnt a deal breaker but it would break my heart
if he slept on the couch
his dad sleeps on the couch every night - not bc they are fighting or anything . . . just bc
it makes me so sad - my parents have NEVER slept apart ( unless my mom was in italy or something )
I slept alone for 24 years and there is NO REASON that i should continue to do so after marriage but FH sees NOTHING wrong with it - he is like well they want to watch different shows, like different temperatures etc.
ugh i get upset just thinking about it
snwb08
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by ant n tilde
also - this isnt a deal breaker but it would break my heart
if he slept on the couch
his dad sleeps on the couch every night - not bc they are fighting or anything . . . just bc
it makes me so sad - my parents have NEVER slept apart ( unless my mom was in italy or something )
I slept along for 24 years and there is NO REASON that i should continue to do so after marriage but FH sees NOTHING wrong with it - he is like well they want to watch different shows, like different temperatures etc.
ugh i get upset just thinking about it
i hear you... my grandparents had separate beds when my grandfather started getting sick... but otherwise i would hate the sleeping apart thing.
Espo22
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Member since
Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by snwb08
Posted by Espo22
Posted by snwb08
Posted by Espo22
thats how i feel too, it is for better or worse. Its funny because i think fh is so sensitive, sweet caring and has that innocence about him (AT TIMES LOL) bc of what he goes through so there are pros and cons to this, he thinks its funny i see any positive in this but its true. I do have moments where i am tired and have my weaknesses and maybe for a day or a few hours i cant handle it lol but ill always come back with even more determination.
You have an amazing dad and i can see why he is your idol, you should be proud of how hard he has fought for all of you. Its not easy and i think bc i always saw it as life is not perfect, there can be worst things going on and getting through the battle is what makes us stronger and closer
that's my mom too - she is totally naive and innocent. it was really rough on us as kids but now we are all just grateful that she is okay - it never goes away but it definitely is so much better with her medicine etc... she'll still space out during big events where she is overwhelmed, but i'm just glad she's there and she's so sweet and helpful and enthusiastic.
you have a really good attitude. it will be hard a lot but in the end it's worth it. a few years ago when my mom cracked a joke at him my dad turned to me and said - see, that's the woman i fell in love with, and 40 years later, i still love her like i did then. that's what it's all about, I think.
what doesn't kill us makes us stronger
well hes innocent to an extent lol bc in some other ways oh god hes not lol. But its true, he is somebody who can be so loving, enthusiastic, caring, romantic, sensitive.
Awww that was real sweet that your dad 40 years later will say that, regardless if shes MD or not, just for anyone to look at the person they married and 40 years later is what i find true romance. I remember someone once said to me that they want to be with someone they can look at across the table when they are 60 years old and still look at them with love in their eyes the way they did when they first me, i thought that was so sweet and what its all about.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Denise, Joe is lucky to have a FW like you. You love that boy - so dont ever give up on him
Espo22
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by Espo22
Posted by yelley77
and the same for you. joe is lucky to have someone that cares about him so much that will fight to keep him well. He is just as lucky as my grandma!!!
tHANK YOU
denise you are one of the strongest women i know!!!
I am really not but thank you ...if somebody would've told me they were in my situation years ago i would probably think i couldn't handle it, especially since with my ex i would flip out about anything and didnt handle things well lol but love makes you realize alot about yourself and you will find strengths within yourself that you never knew you had. Fh always tells me i am the strongest person he knows and when i am actually feeling weak or cant handle something he doesn't know how to react, but hearing him say still surprises me each time, i think to myself no im not but my love for him makes me strong for him.
Espo22
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by Future Mulligan
Denise, Joe is lucky to have a FW like you. You love that boy - so dont ever give up on him
awwww thank you its funny i thought everyone would focus on the cheating and my comment would go unnoticed lol so thats why i even said it
AS
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Im glad this post got everyone to coming out and speaking their true feelings
Espo22
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by ant n tilde
also - this isnt a deal breaker but it would break my heart
if he slept on the couch
his dad sleeps on the couch every night - not bc they are fighting or anything . . . just bc
it makes me so sad - my parents have NEVER slept apart ( unless my mom was in italy or something )
I slept alone for 24 years and there is NO REASON that i should continue to do so after marriage but FH sees NOTHING wrong with it - he is like well they want to watch different shows, like different temperatures etc.
ugh i get upset just thinking about it
yeah i would understand if it happened once in a blue moon but when it starts happening often i would hate that.
GinaBambina08
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Cheating would have been a deal breaker for me, but seeing my friend going through a situation where she was cheated on before is making me doubt it.....any type of abuse would be a deal breaker for me though!
CNC4eva3402
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Definately cheating or abuse - once either of those happen I feel like there's no way you can actually be 'in love' with the person..and I wouldn't stay with someone who isn't 'in love' with me anymore.
Denise - you are VERY strong. We've talked before about how I think I'm a little MD - and FH truly is my Strength..and I know I am his. He thinks I'm the strong one..but I think he is just for dealing with me. I am able to do everything I do, because he can keep me in focus. I will NEVER be able to tell FH how much his strength means to me..so I'm sure Joe appreciates you so much more than you'll ever know.
Espo22
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Re: Question of the day (Monday)
Posted by CNC4eva3402
Definately cheating or abuse - once either of those happen I feel like there's no way you can actually be 'in love' with the person..and I wouldn't stay with someone who isn't 'in love' with me anymore.
Denise - you are VERY strong. We've talked before about how I think I'm a little MD - and FH truly is my Strength..and I know I am his. He thinks I'm the strong one..but I think he is just for dealing with me. I am able to do everything I do, because he can keep me in focus. I will NEVER be able to tell FH how much his strength means to me..so I'm sure Joe appreciates you so much more than you'll ever know.
awww thank you and i remember our conversation about this, it seems like you both are there for eachother and eachothers rock. Every relationship is different but its all about it working for that couple and it seems like you two balance eachother out and found the perfect partner.
