Question of the day (Monday)

FH and I promised to stay together no matter what. we are both from divorced parents and we want to break the cycle. we are determined to make this work!!!

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Posted by missliss

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by Espo22

that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)

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I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd

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NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting

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I hear you loud and clear.

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thank you

I dont think i ever will stop but its hard to predict anything. In my heart i will always continue to fight and never give up.

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Posted by missliss

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Posted by snwb08

I'd say complacency - like we are bored with each other and at the end of the day we just get in a routine and don't talk much to each other anymore, don't have sex, etc. that's my biggest fear and what i think ultimately leads to all other problems (like cheating).

thanks to a free weekend of movie channels fh got me watching that show on hbo tell me that you love me - it totally freaked me out b/c some of it seems so on the mark about relationships in general.

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I kind of agree with you about that show. I know it's TV and it's meant to be 'entertainment', but really, it's a scary show. I don't like watching it at all.
I also agree with you about complacency.

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i know - i would sit there watching it like, which couple are we?? and the ones trying to get pregnant - that is all so true because my sister went through it. it just freaked me out; I know i shouldn't compare us with them but somethings that happen hit close to home.

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by kellybean

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You didnt have to delete that. I would still love my FH and if that happens, its not his fault. I would love to adopt

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I didnt want to offend people.......I just think though not being able to concieve is hard...its not something you can know and even to perfectly fertile people can have lots of trouble conciving.....

cheating and abuse- he would be GONE!!!!

anything else i know we can work through. and i dont think we will ever have a communication problem even after many years. i mean we have gone through 4 years of a very long distant relationship and not seeing each other like ever so we are so great with communicating with each other that i am actually not afraid that we wont be able to later on in life.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by missliss

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by Espo22

that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)

---

I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd

---

NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting

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I hear you loud and clear.

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thank you

I dont think i ever will stop but its hard to predict anything. In my heart i will always continue to fight and never give up.

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I agree, you can't predict the future....but they're worth the fight, which we know.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by Espo22

that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)

---

I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd

---

NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting

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denise i dont know if i am being to personal by saying this and if i am just let me know i dont want to hit anyones sore spot or offend anyone...but i dont get what you mean by not having any fight in you anymore...i mean yes i understand you have to work at relationships at times and for some people it is definitely more than others...but do you mean personally in your life there is something that makes you and fh have to fight to stay together? or do you mean in general like i stated before? cause i see people saying they understand what oyu mean and i don't so i was just curious...

but again you dont have to answer this if it is too personal or for any reason you choose....just curious and i am sure you will be able to fight for what you love!!!

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Posted by snwb08

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by Espo22

that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)

---

I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd

---

NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting

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i know what you mean - that's kind of along the lines of what i was trying to say - like giving up in a sense... you articulated it better though

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i also have a fear about what you said but for me it was a bit differently. For example if i gave up today then the relationship would be over as soon as I did that bc i wouldn't be able to handle FH or more like i wouldn't want to deal with that. For me he is worth the fight, so there are times i have to help him fight for himself, help fight for us bc depending what battle is going on in his head that day it can close him off, and then i also have to fight for myself

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Posted by MPAS

Im also afraid of getting sick of each other when we get married. We have been together for 7 years and 7 months.

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It is a given that people change. Nor me or FH will be the same person we were when we met, dated, got married, etc. I think the key to a good, long-lasting, successful marriage is changing with one another. If you both change and don't realize it, I think the marriage will be introuble. The reason you have been together 7 years is because you are close and you have changed as people together. am i making sense?

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by MPAS

Im also afraid of getting sick of each other when we get married. We have been together for 7 years and 7 months.

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It is a given that people change. Nor me or FH will be the same person we were when we met, dated, got married, etc. I think the key to a good, long-lasting, successful marriage is changing with one another. If you both change and don't realize it, I think the marriage will be introuble. The reason you have been together 7 years is because you are close and you have changed as people together. am i making sense?

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Yeah we have changed alot from when we first met but for the good not bad, and you make perfect sense.

cheating!!


and my fiance is going to amsterdam for his bachelors party....should i worry we wont make it to the wedding???? haha.....jk...but yea im a lil concerned!!

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Posted by AndRecKy

cheating!!


and my fiance is going to amsterdam for his bachelors party....should i worry we wont make it to the wedding???? haha.....jk...but yea im a lil concerned!!

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I think AMsterdam is where Im going for mine

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by AndRecKy

cheating!!


and my fiance is going to amsterdam for his bachelors party....should i worry we wont make it to the wedding???? haha.....jk...but yea im a lil concerned!!

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I think AMsterdam is where Im going for mine

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oh gosh--i really dont even know what to think of him going there....

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by MPAS

Im also afraid of getting sick of each other when we get married. We have been together for 7 years and 7 months.

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It is a given that people change. Nor me or FH will be the same person we were when we met, dated, got married, etc. I think the key to a good, long-lasting, successful marriage is changing with one another. If you both change and don't realize it, I think the marriage will be introuble. The reason you have been together 7 years is because you are close and you have changed as people together. am i making sense?

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Yeah we have changed alot from when we first met but for the good not bad, and you make perfect sense.

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good. I know what i mean but I am not always the best at putting it in words!

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by Espo22

that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)

---

I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd

---

NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting

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denise i dont know if i am being to personal by saying this and if i am just let me know i dont want to hit anyones sore spot or offend anyone...but i dont get what you mean by not having any fight in you anymore...i mean yes i understand you have to work at relationships at times and for some people it is definitely more than others...but do you mean personally in your life there is something that makes you and fh have to fight to stay together? or do you mean in general like i stated before? cause i see people saying they understand what oyu mean and i don't so i was just curious...

but again you dont have to answer this if it is too personal or for any reason you choose....just curious and i am sure you will be able to fight for what you love!!!

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its ok ive said it on here before and FH tells everybody so its not a secret but he is manic depressive. If you know anybody who is then its alot easier to understand what i am saying. But they are at battle with themselves, their mind can go far off and you need to pull them back sometimes bc they can get into a manic stage and just want to be destructive, or depressed and you have to be there for them and help them through it. There are times they want to push away every single person in their life and close themselves off from everyone.

yes everyone has to fight sorry if people got confused. I just meant that this is not a situation some would like to be in and it would be hard to handle, you would have to hear things you dont want to hear, to be their strength and your own and go through the ups and downs

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Posted by AndRecKy

cheating!!


and my fiance is going to amsterdam for his bachelors party....should i worry we wont make it to the wedding???? haha.....jk...but yea im a lil concerned!!

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you are marrying him because you trust him... I wouldn't worry

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by Espo22

that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)

---

I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd

---

NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting

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denise i dont know if i am being to personal by saying this and if i am just let me know i dont want to hit anyones sore spot or offend anyone...but i dont get what you mean by not having any fight in you anymore...i mean yes i understand you have to work at relationships at times and for some people it is definitely more than others...but do you mean personally in your life there is something that makes you and fh have to fight to stay together? or do you mean in general like i stated before? cause i see people saying they understand what oyu mean and i don't so i was just curious...

but again you dont have to answer this if it is too personal or for any reason you choose....just curious and i am sure you will be able to fight for what you love!!!

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its ok ive said it on here before and FH tells everybody so its not a secret but he is manic depressive. If you know anybody who is then its alot easier to understand what i am saying. But they are at battle with themselves, their mind can go far off and you need to pull them back sometimes bc they can get into a manic stage and just want to be destructive, or depressed and you have to be there for them and help them through it. There are times they want to push away every single person in their life and close themselves off from everyone.

yes everyone has to fight sorry if people got confused. I just meant that this is not a situation some would like to be in and it would be hard to handle, you would have to hear things you dont want to hear, to be their strength and your own and go through the ups and downs

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now you make even more sense. We are dealing with this with my grammy. She has severe depression. When she slips in, it is hard to pull her out and if it weren't for my grandpa, i don't know if she'd still be alive today. so i get ya

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by snwb08

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MPAS

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Posted by Espo22

that one day i will stop fighting( and not fighting in the screaming, mad eachother way)

---

I start fights too. I have to stop. Im getting a little crazy with the wedd

---

NO lol that i will STOP fighting one day, and i dont mean arguing or anything like that. I mean the fact that i do have to fight for us alot bc of things that FH deals with and its something we have to deal with the rest of our lives. Fh battles everyday of his life and honestly its things that alot of people wouldn't want to deal with but i fight for our relationship everyday of our lives and sometimes i have to fight extra hard. I meant fighting in that sense...my fear is that one day i will just finally give up and stop fighting

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i know what you mean - that's kind of along the lines of what i was trying to say - like giving up in a sense... you articulated it better though

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i also have a fear about what you said but for me it was a bit differently. For example if i gave up today then the relationship would be over as soon as I did that bc i wouldn't be able to handle FH or more like i wouldn't want to deal with that. For me he is worth the fight, so there are times i have to help him fight for himself, help fight for us bc depending what battle is going on in his head that day it can close him off, and then i also have to fight for myself

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maybe it's a bad analogy, but you saying this totally reminds me of my parents. my mom had (has) issues b/c she is manic depressive; my dad saw signs before they got married but back then no one understood it. two weeks after they were married she had an 'episode' one night and he freaked out and went to his parents. My grandfather told him to go right back to his wife, that he was married for better or for worse no matter what, and it's his job to take care of her. and he did, and he's been fighting ever since - it was hard for us all growing up but 42 years later they are still married b/c he never gave up on her. it's hard and maybe he has his moments of weakness, but he never gives up.

My dad is my idol and busted his *** to take care of my mom and his four girls. that's what i think of when i think of fighting for our marriage/relationships. we can do anything as long as we work hard enough; it's not going to be easy but people don't try as hard as they used to and i'm hoping i learned from him and will never give up when things get hard.

Good question......
I never worry about FH cheating. It sounds terrible, but , if it got to that point, I'd cheat before he would. I guess I could say that I would never want us to get bored with each other and definitely would never tolerate drugs.